She Ghosted Me: Why It’s Happening and What To Do About It

Women are more critical when it comes to a first date or to get into a committed relationship often causing men to get ghosted at scale.
Guy looking at phone confused becasue he got ghosted by girl

Women have a significant advantage in the dating world.

If you are lucky enough to get her number and land the first date, you now have to be very calculated in your actions.

One misstep and you could quickly become ghosted because she likely has other options and high expectations.

Women tend to be more critical than men when it comes to a first date or to get into a committed long-term relationship.

I’ll explain some common reasons why she may be ghosting you and what you can do about it.

She ghosts you after your first or second date

In the early stages of a relationship, people can be easygoing or highly critical about how things are going.

If you don’t live up to her expectations on the first or second date, she may write you off as a potential partner and move on.

Here are some common reasons why a woman may ghost you after a first or second date:

Guy talking about hiself too much on a date

You talked about yourself the whole

You want to get her talking as much as possible on the first date.

People have fonder feelings towards you when you listen to them talk about themselves.

So, if you spent the first date talking about yourself the whole time, she may have felt like you were self-centered and not interested in getting to know her.

To avoid this, try to ask her lots of questions about herself and listen to her answers.

You ignored her signals

Body language can be a powerful tool for communication, especially on a first date.

If you ignored her body language, you missed some obvious signals about how you need to make her feel comfortable around you.

For example, if she was crossing her arms or legs while you were talking, it could be a sign that she was feeling closed off and uncomfortable.

So, you should try to give her more space by increasing the distance between you two.

But, if she is leaning in, smiling, and lightly touching but you don’t close distance, she may feel like you’re not interested.

Guy ghosted at a coffee shop

You came on too strong

Many men make the mistake of coming on too strong on a first date.

They may try to kiss her or touch her in an inappropriate way before she is ready.

This can make her feel uncomfortable and even scared.

Women want a guy who makes them feel safe and respected, not someone pushy or aggressive.

She was emotionally unavailable

Sometimes a girl may ghost you because she is not ready for a relationship.

She may have other issues going on in her life that are preventing her from being emotionally available.

There’s not much you can do in this situation except understand and respect her decision.

She recently had a breakup

If she’s dating to simply try to get over her last relationship, it’s likely she’s not ready for something new.

She may be using you as a rebound and once she starts to feel better about herself, she may ghost you.

There’s not much you can do to prevent this from happening.

There are usually signs like she is sending mixed signals, she’s still talking about her ex, or she tells you she just got out of a long-term relationship.

If she ghosts you, just move on because this is likely the reason and would be a waste of your energy.

She wasn’t ready for sex

The date went well, and you ended up back at her place.

There was good sexual energy, and things got intimate.

For you, this is a win but for her, she may feel like she moved too fast because of our previous point.

At the moment, things may have felt right for her, but the next day she may have regrets which is why she ghosts you.

girl bored on a coffee date

She just wasn’t into you

Just because she accepted your offer to go on a first date doesn’t mean she was into you in a romantic way.

Women will go on a first date with you even if they’re not interested.

Maybe they just want to get a free meal, or they are curious about you.

It’s harsh, but it’s the truth.

The best thing you can do is move on and don’t take it personally if this happens.

Woman with her boyfriend

She secretly has a boyfriend

Part of the reason she may have gone out with you even if she is not interested is that she has a boyfriend.

She may have gone on a date to test the waters and see if there is potential for something more.

But, the majority of the time, she will always choose her current relationship over you.

This is a huge red flag because it could signify what’s to come for you if you start dating her.

You escalated too fast

One of the biggest mistakes guys makes when on a first date is escalating too quickly.

This means going for the kiss or trying to make a move on her before she is ready.

If you do this, it’s likely she will ghost you because she feels like things are moving too fast or you’re just a creep.

A woman’s life is filled with catcalling, sexual advances, and unspoken competition.

The best thing you can do is take things slow, build up the sexual tension, and let her give you signs she wants you to make the first move.

The last thing they want is to be just another guy that wants to sleep with her.

Guy being shy around a girl who likes him

You didn’t escalate at all

Sometimes good guys need to learn when to tap into their “bad side” and get past their shyness and uncertainty, especially when she is giving you signals she likes you.

She may get frustrated if you’re on a first date and there’s good sexual tension, but you don’t make a move.

This can lead to ghosting because she may lose interest and decide to pursue someone more assertive.

It’s important to remember that women want you to make the first move.

They want you to be the one who takes charge and escalates things physically.

If you don’t do this, she is likely to ghost you.

You suppressed your masculinity

There is what’s being called a war on masculinity happening nowadays.

Because of this, men are being told to suppress their masculinity.

However, when you do this on a first date, it can lead to ghosting.

Women are attracted to masculine men.

They want a man who is confident, decisive, and takes charge.

If you act like a beta male on your first date, she is likely to lose interest and ghost you.

She lost interest in you

Things started off great after the first date.

You were talking about making upcoming plans, she texted you first a lot, and things seemed to be going well.

But then, all of a sudden, she starts ghosting you.

The reason for this is that she probably lost interest in you.

It happens to the best of us, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

There are so many reasons that may have nothing to do with you that she is no longer interested.

Maybe she just got busy with work, or she met someone else.

Whatever the reason, don’t take it personally.

Guy looking at his watch waiting on a girl

You come across needy

If you attract women who are high quality, they’re going to be turned off by neediness.

Women want a man who is confident and secure in himself.

If you come across as needy on your first date, she is likely to ghost you.

Some signs that you’re being needy are if you’re constantly texting her first, if you’re always trying to make plans, or if you’re always available.

A high-quality woman wants a high-value man.

Being needy portrays you in the opposite light, and she is likely to lose interest and ghost you.

Woman texting another guy

She had other options

The more attractive the woman, the more options and expectations she has.

This doesn’t mean that you’re not a good option. It’s just that she has more to choose from.

Even if you make good money, there is someone she is talking to that makes even more.

She’s ghosting you because she’s trying to find the best option, and you’re not it.

It sucks, but that’s just how the dating world works.

Guy holding girls hand while walking in the park

You didn’t put in enough effort

In today’s age, a lot of men think that they can just sit back and women will come to them.

Unfortunately, this is not the case.

If you want to date high-quality women, you have to put in the effort.

This means making the first move, planning dates, and being assertive.

If you don’t do these things, she is likely to ghost you because she will think you don’t see her worth.

Putting in effort and being a simp are two different things.

A simp is someone who does everything for a woman and puts her on a pedestal.

You don’t want to be a simp, but you want to show her that you see her value and are worth the effort.

She’s afraid of you

It’s not that you did anything wrong.

You could remind her of someone she has had a bad experience with in the past.

It could be that simple.

Unlike men, women must be more careful about who they meet.

If you make her feel uneasy in any way, she is likely to ghost you.

It’s not personal. She is just trying to protect herself.

The first date didn’t go well

This is also out of your control.

You must have good social skills to make a bad situation not feel so bad.

If the food takes a long time to come, it starts raining while walking in the park with clear skies, or any number of other things go wrong, it’s not your fault.

But if you don’t have good social skills, it can make the first date feel very long and uncomfortable.

If this is the case, she is likely to ghost you because she doesn’t want to go through that again.

male and female friends hanging out

She ghosts you after knowing her for a while

When a girl has been in your life for a while, it can bring up a completely different set of feelings and reasons a girl ghosts you.

When you spend time and include someone in your life, even if it’s just as friends, ghosting feels very hurtful.

You might think you were doing something to get her to ghost you when in reality, she was just going through something herself.

Here are some reasons why a girl might ghost you after knowing her for a while:

woman in deep thought

You scared her

With her being in your life, she has seen many things, good and bad.

This can work against you.

Maybe you are a lady’s man, and she knows you cycle through women quickly.

She doesn’t want to be another notch on your belt, so she ghosts you when things may be going to the next level.

She was using you

This one is a very true statement for many guys.

Unfortunately, she kept you around because you were benefiting her somehow.

She never wanted things to go to the next level. So you were just good to have around for the time being.

She ghosted you when she felt like she didn’t need you anymore.

Your life is going in different directions

You may have been growing apart for some time, and not even realized it.

Different things become important to us as we age and our paths change.

Getting ghosted could actually be just moving on with her life.

It sucks when you are on the receiving end, but in this situation, it’s best to just make a clean break and hope for the best.

Guy being lazy watching tv

You are lazy

Girls like a guy with ambition and a purpose.

If you are just coasting through life with no goals or motivation, she is going to ghost you.

A girl wants a man who is going to be able to provide for and protect her.

If you can’t do that, she is likely to ghost you when you mention you want to take things to another level.

She doesn’t respect you

She doesn’t think of you as an equal and therefore ghosted you when she realized it wasn’t going to work out.

You have likely heard things like her disregarding your opinion, talking down to you, or regularly “putting you in your place.”

These are all signs she doesn’t respect you, and ghosting is likely what’s next.

You’ve been friend zoned

Girls ghost guys who were in the friend zone all the time.

Guys accept the friend zone with the hopes that they can win her over at some point which doesn’t work out well for guys.

She keeps you around as a friend because it’s convenient, or she needs someone to talk to.

You may just be the funny guy in the group, and she doesn’t think of you as being boyfriend or husband material.

You got with a friend of hers

Girls don’t want to feel like they are the second choice.

If you are in the same social circle and something could be there, but you go for the sure thing, she will likely ghost you.

Even if there is nothing going on between you at the time, ghosting is a way for her to protect her friendship with the girl you got with.

woman sitting on the couch sad

You broke her trust

If you cheated on her, were caught in a lie, or did something that made her feel like she couldn’t trust you, ghosting is the next step.

She wants nothing to do with someone she can’t trust and will move on quickly.

Lack of trust can turn things sour quickly, and ghosting is just a way to end things abruptly.

You were possessive or jealous

Trying to control someone or being overly jealous is a major turnoff for most girls.

If you are constantly trying to keep tabs on her, she is going to ghost you when she feels like she can’t breathe.

Possessiveness and jealousy are two major red flags in a relationship. If you can’t get it under control, ghosting is the likely outcome.

Confident guy walking with coffee

What to do if a girl ghosts you?

How you act when you realize you’ve been ghosted can be very important.

You could push her further away or even get her to start chasing you if done right.

Once she has time to think about things, she may reach out to you again.

Here are some things you should do after she ghosts you:

Make a choice

You need to first decide if she is worth it.

When you get ghosted, think back and get honest with yourself.

Was she a girl who would be good for you physically and emotionally?

Did you have a good time when you were with her?

Was she trying to take advantage of you in any way?

These are tough questions to answer but you need to in order to make a decision.

If she was good for you, you might want to try and get her back if you didn’t make an obvious screw-up.

On the flip side, if she’s not good for you, then ghosting may have been the best thing that could have happened.

Get over it

The best thing you can do is move on and get over her.

If she wasn’t good for you, then ghosting may have saved you a lot of pain and heartache in the long run.

There is plenty of other fish in the sea, so don’t dwell on one that got away.

Use ghosting as a learning experience

Analyze what happened and try to figure out where things went wrong.

This is the best way to use ghosting as a learning experience.

You can learn from your mistakes and do better next time.

Most importantly, don’t take it personally.

Talk to other girls

Whether in person or on a dating app, you need to communicate with more girls.

It’s easier to move forward and forget about the one that ghosted you when you have options.

Some girls are just flaky or not ready for a relationship.

The sooner you realize this, the better off you will be.

Focus on yourself

This is the most important thing you can do after getting ghosted.

Focus on bettering yourself and becoming a better man.

Work on your goals, get some hobbies, and improve your lifestyle.

The more attractive you become, the easier it will be to find a quality girl that wants to be with you.

Getting ghosted can be a blessing in disguise if you use it as an opportunity to better yourself.

Don’t text her

It can be tempting, but stop if you have already sent two texts and haven’t gotten a reply.

Texting her again will only make you look needy and desperate.

If she ghosted you, she isn’t interested in talking to you.

The worst thing you can do is keep texting her because it will only push her further away.

If a girl is interested in you, she will respond in a decent amount of time.

Ghosting is a way of saying “I’m not interested” without having to actually say it.

Ignore her

There is power in ignoring a girl if she ghosted you.

Women are used to being chased.

By ignoring her, she will start to wonder why you aren’t chasing her anymore.

This can make her start to chase you and try to get your attention.

Suppose she finally decides to reach back out to you after she ghosted you for any amount of time. In that case, you should implement the ignore technique and ensure she puts in some effort.

Get professional help

A relationship expert can give you a competitive edge in the dating market.

If you don’t know how to interact with women or keep their attention, then ghosting will happen more often.

A professional can help you build attraction, rapport, and comfort, so you don’t get ghosted again.

They can also help you identify any red flags with women so you can avoid them in the future.


Ghosting is a part of life, and it happens to everyone at some point.

The best thing you can do is learn from it and move on.

If she wasn’t good for you, then ghosting may have saved you a lot of pain and heartache in the long run.

Use ghosting as a learning experience to figure out where things went wrong and do better next time.

Most importantly, don’t take it personally and focus on bettering yourself.


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