11 Reasons Why She Never Texts You First And What To Do

It would be very abnormal for a woman NOT to text you first, considering how much they love to talk with guys they are attracted to.
Guy on trip reading text message

You faced your fear of rejection, asked for her number, and you text her but noticed that she never texts you first.

This can lead to many questions such as:

  • What did I do wrong?
  • Should I text her again?
  • Did I scare her off?
  • Is she not interested?

The truth is, one of these could be the reason, or it could be a combination.

The best thing you can do is understand possibly why she is not texting you first and what you are potentially doing to contribute to this.

Is it normal for a girl not to text first?

It would be very abnormal for a woman NOT to text you first, considering how much women love to communicate with guys they are attracted to.

It just might mean she is waiting for you to text her first, or she could be playing hard to get.

It’s essential not never to overthink things, especially in the early stages of relationships.

The point of playing hard to get is to keep someone’s interest by appearing slightly unavailable.

This often works because it creates a bit of mystery and makes the other person want to pursue you more.

If you think she is playing hard to get, the best thing you can do is play along and don’t text her first.

Guy waitning on a response text from a girl

Why She Doesn’t initiate text but responds

It could have nothing to do with you, or it could have everything to do with you.

There are a few things that could be going on here:

1. Just seeing where it goes

She goes from minding her own business to having a guy hit on her while at the grocery store.

Everything went OK, and she was open to giving you her number, but there weren’t any fireworks.

You text her a day or two later, and the conversation is OK but not great.

At this point, she’s just trying to gauge her interest level and see if any sparks come about.

Woman reading a text from a guy

2. She wants attention

Women can sometimes want attention when they feel like it but ignore you when they don’t.

Women will have an issue with a bunch of guys constantly hitting on them. Still, if she goes for an extended period where she isn’t getting any attention, she will start to crave it.

You constantly initiating the first text might simply be the validation she’s looking for.

Guy not sure how to respond to a text message from a girl

3. She expects you to chase her

Some girls get courting and chasing confused.

They may feel like if you are not putting in all the effort, you must not be that interested.

She may feel like if she never texts you first, you will work harder to keep her attention, which will make her feel more desired even if she is doing the bare minimum.

This is giving her all the leverage and shouldn’t be something you blindly accept.

You want her to put in some effort as well.

Cute girl reading a text from a guy

4. You created the routine

If you are the one who always reaches out first, she has no incentive to text you first since you are already doing all the work.

So, even though she is interested, she doesn’t need to text first.

Mixing things up is important and allows her to put in some effort.

You can do this by waiting a few hours or even a day to respond or not being as responsive as you usually are.

Guy smiling because he received a response from a girl over text

5. She is a face-to-face person

Some people are not as tied to their phone as others.

She may never text you first because she likes to communicate in person.

This isn’t bad, but you’ll have to take the initiative more often if you want to move things along.

Just be sure you are getting clear signs that she is into you.

6. She prefers phone calls

At the same time, some girls are not texters.

There is a level of connection that happens much easier over the phone.

You can hear each other’s voices and get a better sense of each other.

This doesn’t mean you should never text her but try to mix in some phone calls.

Beautiful woman uninterested in a text from a guy

7. She’s interested in someone else

Just because you got her number doesn’t mean you are the only guy she’s talking to.

She could be interested in someone else and only respond to you because she’s bored or wants validation.

There is no way to know this for sure unless she mentions it.

If she mentions another guy to you, it’s likely she doesn’t see you as a romantic partner.

Then it’s up to you to decide if she is worth being a female friend.

If you want more, then you should have stopped texting her and moved on.

Guy waiting for a response to his text message

8. She’s not interested anymore

Early on, maybe things were going great over a text message.

Then she started to slowly but surely respond less and less.

It’s hard to admit, but she has likely lost interest if this is the case.

You can try switching up your routine, but sometimes it’s just time to move on.

9. She has personal issues

She may have other priorities she is dealing with in her life.

It could be anything from relationship problems to job stress to family issues.

She may not have the time or energy to keep up a consistent text conversation.

If this is the case, you can try giving her some space and seeing if she comes back around when things settle down.

Busy woman reading a text message

10. She may actually be busy

If she has her own company or a demanding job, text messaging is probably not her top priority.

She may never text you first because she is always busy.

It’s not that she’s not interested. She just doesn’t have the time.

If this is the case, try to be understanding and patient.

She will get back to you when she can.

You just want to make sure she is putting in some effort or making plans with you.

Guy texting a woman first

11. She doesn’t know how to start a good conversation

Texting is not always easy.

That is part of the reason you are here, right?

It can be hard to come up with something interesting to say.

If she never texts you first, it may be because she doesn’t know how to start a conversation.

If you notice that she is for sure interested but sends dry text or not very interesting messages, know that it’s not you.

If this is irritating, find other ways to build a connection with her.

Face-to-face conversation or even talking on the phone can be much easier for her.

Doing things together in person where you don’t have to rely on text messaging can help as well.

How do you get her to start texting you first?

If she is not already texting you first on her own accord, there are ways to get her to do it.

You should give these a try before giving up on her completely.

Test her willingness to text you first

Once you notice this becoming a trend that you want to change, give her a task.

Maybe she is going to a new restaurant with friends, and you ask her to let you know how it is.

So, you’d say, “Send me a text message after and let me know what you thought about the place.”

Or maybe she is going on a trip, and you want to hear all about it when she gets back.

So, you’d say something like, “My guys and I are looking at some places to take a trip. Let me know your thoughts on Jamaica when you get back.”

This way, she knows you want her to text you first, and she has a specific reason to do it.

It’s less imposing than just asking her flat out to text you more.

Continue building rapport over text message

You should continue building that rapport over text messages if things are going great.

You want to keep things light and fun.

Ask her about her day, tell her a funny story, and send her a meme you know she would find funny.

Just keep the conversations going, so it’s natural for her to text you more often.

Most girls will never be the ones who text first all the time, but if you follow these steps, she may start more often than she used to.

And that’s a good thing! It means things are going well.

Stop texting her first all the time

Early on, it’s OK to make the first move more often.

There is no right length of time to say she should text you first, but if it’s been a while, you should back off.

A good rule of thumb is to text her first 50% of the time and let her text you the other 50%.

This way, she feels more invested in the relationship, and it takes the pressure off you constantly having to make the first move.

It will also give you a better idea of her interest levels.

If she never texts you back, it’s time to move on.

Many other girls out there would love to text you first if you don’t get all in your feelings.

Make an effort to talk to more girls.

Stop responding immediately

Make sure she knows you have other things going on in your life.

Texting is not the only thing you should be focused on.

You have a job, friends, hobbies, and other things you are interested in.

She should be just one part of your life, not your whole life.

One way to show her this is by waiting a little while to respond to her texts.

Then always let her know subtly what you’ve been up to.

You can say something like, “Hey, just getting this. My friends and I went to the grand opening of that new restaurant downtown. It was amazing. You would have loved it!”

It’s a great way to keep the power in the early days and not come across as needy.

It also shows her you have an exciting life outside of her, which will make her more interested in you.

She will wonder what you are up to when you don’t answer right away, and it will make her more likely to text you first in the future.

Give her that same energy

Your text messages should never be one-sided.

The moment you get a sign that a woman is just going through the motions with you, it’s time to move on.

You want someone as excited about talking to you as you are about talking to her.

If she never asks you questions or seems uninterested in your life, it’s a sign that she’s not worth your time.

Guy reading a response text from a girl

What to do if she never texts you first

One problem guys have with beautiful women is that we don’t always want to give up on the chance that she will change her mind about us.

It’s tough to let go of someone we’ve been wanting for so long, but sometimes it’s the best thing to do.

If you’ve tried all of the tips in this guide and she never texts you first, then you have a few decisions to make.

Stop texting her

After a few weeks of not texting you, you can safely assume that she has lost interest.

If you want to move on, then the best thing you can do is stop texting her.

It will be challenging, but it’s for the best in the long run.

Don’t give someone that much of your energy when she is clearly not interested.

Text her one last time

If you want to try it, you can always text her one last time and say something like, “I had a great time with you the other day. You don’t seem interested, so I’m not going to keep bothering you. Take care.”

If there is no response, that’s your answer, but you have to delete her number and move on if you send this.

On the other hand, it could go the other way, and she texts you back like, “Why would you say that?”

Then without sounding like a whining little boy, you can explain that you just got the vibe she wasn’t interested and didn’t want to bother her.

If she responds positively to this, it’s worth giving it another shot.

Just be sure not to get too emotionally attached if she changes her mind again.

There is a high percentage chance that she might.

Focus on other girls

First, you need to be good in your own company.

Don’t make girls the priority but having some options for girls will make it easier to not get all caught up with one.

It will also help you stay motivated to improve your game so that you can attract the type of girl you really want.

The most attractive thing to a woman is a man with options.

If you never text her first, she won’t be the only one in your life, and you won’t be as needy.

You will have other things to focus on, and she will know.

Be the one who always has something going on and is never desperate for attention.

She will be the one who is chasing you in no time.

And if she never texts you first, move on and find someone who will.

Does a girl not like you if she never texts first?

A girl can still like you but not text your first. So you have to spend a little time getting to know her to see if she’s just shy or really not that interested.

If you never text her first, it won’t be the end of the world, but you might be missing out on a great girl who is worth getting to know.

Understand the reasons why and subtly ask specific questions to learn more about her and what she has going on in her life.

If she’s never texting you first, it is still possible that it has nothing to do with you.


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