Girlfriend vs. Wife Duties List: Give Yourself The Best Chance

When it comes to a girlfriend list, there are a few key things that guys should be looking for. If she doesn't do these things naturally, likely, she will only do them when it benefits her in some way. A wife list is typically much shorter than a girlfriend list because a good girlfriend covers many of the top responsibilities of a good wife.
Boyfriend kissing his girlfriend on teh cheek by the water

There are particular duties that both a girlfriend and wife share, but there are also certain things that only one or the other should be expected to do.

It’s important to understand the expectations and responsibilities of each relationship status before making any commitments.

Girlfriend duties, generally speaking, are less serious than one of a wife.

A girlfriend is someone you are dating and seeing exclusively.

A wife is someone you are legally married to and has legal rights to your assets and children.

When it comes to relationships, there are a lot of expectations placed on both parties.

One of the biggest expectations for guys is that their girlfriends will do everything their wives would do.

But is that really fair?

I’ll say, for the most part, YES!

But this is not always the case, and some duties are specific to each relationship status.

Let’s look at the difference between girlfriend and wife lists to see what guys should really be expecting.

girlfriend riding on boyfriends back smiling

Girlfriend duties List

When it comes to a girlfriend list, there are a few key things that guys should be looking for.

If she doesn’t do these things naturally, likely, she will only do them when it benefits her in some way.

For example, she may only be supportive when things are going well or only be loving when she wants something from you.

This can lead to an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship where one person is giving, and the other is taking.

Specific girlfriend duties include the following:

She should be an emotional support system.

You should be self-sufficient, and at this stage in the relationship, your girl should be there for you emotionally.

This doesn’t mean she has to do anything specific at this point, but it will not work out if she adds to your stress by nagging you or being negative all the time.

She should be attractive to you.

Being with someone for the sake of not being alone is a recipe for disaster.

You should be physically and emotionally attracted to your girlfriend.

It’s okay if she doesn’t look like a supermodel, don’t be shallow, but there should be something about her that makes you want to be with her.

She should be interested in your life.

A good girlfriend will take an interest in your life and want to know what’s going on with you.

She should care about your dreams, aspirations, and passions.

She should make you a priority.

A girlfriend should make you feel like a priority in her life.

You shouldn’t always come last after her friends, family, and work.

She should be honest with you.

A relationship can’t survive without honesty.

You should be able to trust your girlfriend, and she should feel the same about you.

If she constantly lies to you or keeps secrets, it’s time to move on.

Boyfriend and girlfriend having fn painting a room together

She should want to and enjoy spending time with you.

A girlfriend should be very similar to a best friend in terms of wanting to spend time with you.

You should be able to have fun together, even if you’re just hanging out at home.

There should be a mutual understanding and enjoyment of each other’s company.

She should have good communication skills.

There will be a misunderstanding or disagreement, and you’ll need to communicate to work through it.

Suppose she resorts to anger, physical violence, verbal assaults, or stonewalling. In that case, it clearly signifies that the relationship is headed for trouble.

She should be respectful.

A girlfriend should always show you respect, even when you disagree on something.

If she constantly puts you down or tries to control you, it’s not a healthy relationship.

She should be sexually compatible.

Fewer people are sticking to traditional or religious beliefs about waiting until marriage to have sex.

Either way, when you become sexually involved, compatibility is still important to consider.

You should be attracted to each other and enjoy intimacy together.

Suppose she’s not interested in sex or isn’t compatible with you sexually. In that case, it can create tension and conflict in the relationship down the road.

She gives you personal space.

Romantic relationships don’t mean you have to spend every waking moment together.

A girlfriend should understand that you need time for yourself and respect your personal space.

She shouldn’t be offended if you want to take a night to watch TV by yourself or go out with the guys.

As long as she knows she is still a priority in your life, there shouldn’t be a problem.

She shouldn’t try to control you.

A relationship should be built on trust, not control.

If your girlfriend is always trying to tell you what to do or where to go, it’s a sign she’s feeling insecure.

She shouldn’t try to micromanage your life or make decisions for you.

She should cook for you.

If having someone in life that can prepare meals for you is important, then a girlfriend that can cook is a must.

This doesn’t mean she has to be a master chef, but it’s always nice to know there’s someone who can make you a tasty meal when you’re feeling lazy or tired from a long day.

She should help with cleaning.

It doesn’t matter if you live together or not. It is great to see that your girlfriend wants to help you keep your place in order.

It shows that she cares about your home and wants to make it a nice place to be.

If she does this without asking and keeps her place clean, too, that’s even better!

She should have a job or be in school.

Having someone responsible and can take care of themselves is crucial.

A girlfriend should have a job or be in school so she can support herself financially.

This doesn’t mean she has to make more money than you do, but she should be growing in a way that will help support the family’s future.

She should claim you in public.

Suppose your girlfriend keeps you a secret or is embarrassed to be seen with you in public. In that case, it’s a sign that she’s not ready for a serious relationship.

A girlfriend should be proud to claim you as her own and show you off to the world.

She should want to introduce you to her friends and family and include you in social gatherings.

She should be a sounding board.

Your girlfriend should be someone you can talk to about anything and everything.

This includes both the good and the bad.

She should be someone you feel comfortable confiding in and sharing your thoughts and feelings with.

In return, she should offer her own thoughts and opinions, even if you don’t always agree.

She should have other healthy relationships.

The people your girlfriend has in her circle say a lot about her.

Suppose she has healthy, supportive relationships with friends and family. In that case, it’s a good sign that she knows how to be in a relationship herself.

On the other hand, it’s not a good sign if she is constantly arguing with the people she’s close to or is always drama-focused.

It’s highly likely, even if it doesn’t show early on, that it will carry over into her relationship with you.

She should get along with the people closest to you.

Your girlfriend should want to get along with the people who are important to you.

This includes your family and friends.

She should make an effort to get to know them and build relationships with them.

She doesn’t need to become friends with them but should be respectful and considerate.

She should have her own life.

Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean your lives have to become one.

Your girlfriend must have her own life outside of the relationship.

Boyfriend and girlfriend celebrating their new place together

She should talk about the future with you.

If a long-term relationship is important to you, then you should ensure your girlfriend is on the same page.

This doesn’t mean she needs to start talking about marriage and kids on the first date.

Still, she should at least express that she’s interested in a relationship with you that has the potential to last.

Newly weds getting kissing during wedding

Wife List

A wife list is typically much shorter than a girlfriend list because a good girlfriend covers many of the top responsibilities of a good wife.

This means that there are not as many things that need to be added to make sure she is wifey material.

Your wife should share your values.

If you want a successful relationship, you and your partner must share the same values.

This includes things like religion, relationship goals, and how you want to raise a family.

Having a happy and healthy relationship will be much easier if you’re on the same page about these things.

Your wife should be trustworthy.

One of the most important things in any relationship is trust.

If you can’t trust your partner, having a successful relationship will be very difficult.

Your wife should be someone you can trust with your deepest secrets and who will always have your back, no matter what.

married couple taking a picture together

Your wife should not compete with you.

You don’t want competition within the household.

A wife should not try to one-up you or compete with you.

Instead, she should be your partner and work as a team.

Your wife should help you manage your business affairs.

If you are or becoming a high-value man, you likely have a business or career that demands a lot of your time and attention.

A good wife will understand this and do whatever she can to help her husband manage his business.

Whether it’s taking care of things at home or understanding when her husband has to work late, she should support your career.

Your wife respects you as head of the household.

This is controversial, but it’s important to many men who want to become a husband.

A wife should respect you as the head of the household.

This doesn’t mean she has to be a doormat, but she should understand that you are the one that is leading the family and treat you accordingly.

Your wife continues to try and make you happy.

Romantic gestures are not just the responsibility of the husband.

Your other half should continue trying to make you happy, even after you have been together for years.

She should do things to show you that she loves and cares about her husband, even if it’s just little things.

mother playing with kids on the sofa

Your wife is a good mother.

If you have or want children, you want a wife who is a good mother.

Look at how she treats her own children if she has any, or how she treats other people’s children.

A good mother will be loving, patient, and protective of her children.

married couple sitting on couch with son laughing

Your wife supports your relationship with your children.

If you have children from a previous relationship or with her, she should support your relationship with them.

This includes things like not trying to replace their mother, respecting their time with you, and letting absolutely nothing get in the way.

Things like talking negatively about you to the kids or trying to keep them from seeing you will not help the relationship and should be avoided.

Your wife is financially responsible.

A wife should be financially responsible and understand the importance of money.

This means she is careful with spending, saves for the future, and is overall money-conscious.


Creating a solid relationship with your girlfriend or wife is a collective responsibility in figuring out how to keep the spark alive.

You must meet your duties as a boyfriend and husband as well.

Use this list to help you decide what’s important to you and look for a relationship where you both have the best chance of a prosperous relationship.


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