Not being able to get a girlfriend can be a frustrating experience. There can be a number of reasons why you’re having trouble finding a girl to date.
Often, you already know the reason but are not willing to face it.
In order to get a girlfriend, you need to be willing to put yourself out there and get rejected by many girls. Only through this process will you find the right girl for you.
If you’re not willing to take this risk, you’ll never get a girlfriend.
Unfortunately, it is becoming common for guys to go years, even over a decade, without having a girlfriend.
You can’t be just a nice guy. You have to be assertive and go after what you want.
In this article, we’ll go over some common and not so common reasons you can’t get the girl and how you can get a girlfriend.
How do I deal with not having a girlfriend?
First, you have to be comfortable not being in a serious relationship.
There is nothing wrong with being single and enjoying your own company.
In fact, it’s actually very healthy to spend some time alone every now and then.
It gives you time to focus on other things in your life and get perspective on things.
If you’re constantly stressing over the fact that you don’t have a girlfriend, then you’re not going to be able to attract one.
You have to be confident and secure in yourself before you can attract a girl.
Once you’re comfortable being single, you can start putting yourself out there more.
This means going on dates and trying to meet girls.
It’s important that you don’t get too caught up in the idea of finding a girlfriend.
If you get too focused on this, you’ll get desperate, and girls can sense this.
Just have fun and see what happens.
You never know; the girl of your dreams could be right around the corner.
Why you can’t get a girlfriend
Now let’s get into some of the reasons you might not be having much luck in the girlfriend department.
1. You’re too shy
If you’re shy, it’s going to be very difficult to get a girlfriend.
Girls like confident guys who can take charge.
If you’re too shy to even talk to an attractive girl, you’re never going to get a girlfriend.
If this is your problem, you should head over to our article, “How To Get A Girlfriend If You Are Shy.”
2. You’re too picky
If you have a long list of requirements for your future girlfriend, you’re going to have a hard time finding one.
No one is perfect, and you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment if you expect to find a girl who meets all of your criteria.
Many guys make the mistake of thinking that they need to find a girl who is their “type.”
You’re going to have a lot more success if you keep an open mind.
3. You don’t get out of the house
If you’re not putting yourself out there, you’re never going to meet anyone.
You need to get out of the house and start interacting with people if you want to get a girlfriend.
This means joining clubs or groups, going to social events, and generally being more outgoing.
Staying in to play video games all day will not get you a girlfriend.
4. You are not going to the right places
If you get out of the house, are you going to places that allow you to meet attractive women?
You’re not going to find a girlfriend hanging out in bars all the time or going to places where primarily other guys hang out.
You need to go where the women are.
Coffee shops, bookstores, yoga classes, and art galleries are good places to meet women.
5. You have poor hygiene
If you’re not taking care of yourself and have poor hygiene, it’s going to be very difficult to get a girlfriend.
Women are attracted to guys who take care of themselves and look good.
Wearing dirty clothes and having bad breath will not get you a girlfriend.
You need to make sure you’re showering regularly, wearing clean clothes, and brushing your teeth.
6. You don’t have a positive attitude
Your attitude will have a significant impact on your success with women.
If you’re negative and always complaining, it’s going to be very difficult to get a girlfriend.
Women prefer guys who are positive and have an optimistic outlook on life.
So if you want to get a girlfriend, make sure you’re focusing on the things that are going right in your life, not the things that are going wrong.
7. You don’t have any goals or ambitions
If you don’t have any goals or ambitions in your life, it’s going to be very difficult to get a girlfriend.
Women are attracted to guys who have their life together and are going somewhere.
If you’re just floating through life without any direction, it will be tough to get a girlfriend.
You need to have some goals you’re working towards and ambitions you want to achieve.
8. You don’t make enough money
We have to be real here. Money does play a part in whether or not you’re going to be able to get a girlfriend.
If you don’t make enough money, then it’s going to be very difficult to attract high-quality women.
Women are attracted to guys who have their life together and can provide them with security.
So if you’re not making much money, you’re going to have a hard time getting a girlfriend.
9. You are not independent
If you don’t have your own place, a car, or a steady job, you’re not going to get a girlfriend.
Girls like guys who are independent and have their own lives. If you’re still relying on your parents for everything, it’s time to start becoming more independent.
Get a job, get your own place, and start taking care of yourself. Then, you’ll be ready to approach more women successfully.
10. You’re desperate and it shows
Don’t get all girl crazy and start posting things like “need gf” on Facebook or other social media sites. This makes you look desperate and needy, which are two of the biggest turn-offs for women.
Don’t post sad statuses or get into arguments with your ex online. These things will only make you look bitter and unhappy, neither are attractive qualities.
If you’re looking for a girlfriend, focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be. Be confident, happy, and successful, and you’ll find that the women will come to you.
11. You don’t put in any effort
Just because you’re not actively pursuing a woman doesn’t mean that you’re not responsible for your own dating life.
If you want to get a girlfriend, you need to be proactive and put in some effort. Get out there and talk to women, get to know them, and ask them out on dates.
Dating life can sometimes feel like a numbers game, but the more women you meet, the more likely you are to find one you really connect with.
12. You only want sex
One of the biggest turn-offs for women is when a guy only seems interested in sex. If you’re only interested in getting physical with a woman, she will pick up on that pretty quickly.
Instead, focus on building a connection with her. Get to know her and let her get to know you. Once you’ve established a connection, you can start thinking about taking things to the next level.
13. You’re insecure
Insecurity is another major turn-off for women. If you’re constantly putting yourself down or getting defensive, she will get turned off pretty quickly.
Women want to be with a guy who is confident and secure in himself. So if you’re not feeling good about yourself, it’s time to start working on that.
Focus on controlling your body language, building up your self-confidence, and becoming the best version of yourself that you can be. Then, you’ll be more attractive to women and better able to get a girlfriend.
14. You’re too clingy
Women don’t want a guy who is always attached to their side. So if you’re constantly texting or calling her or get jealous when she talks to other guys, you’re going to drive her away pretty quickly.
Instead, focus on giving her some space and being less available. Let her come to you instead of always being the one to initiate contact. This will make you more attractive to her and less needy.
15. You don’t know how to flirt
Flirting is an important part of getting a girlfriend. If you don’t know how to flirt, you’re not going to be able to show her that you’re interested in being more than just friends.
Fortunately, flirting is something that can be learned. There are plenty of books and articles that can teach you the basics of flirting.
Once you’ve learned how to flirt, practice it as often as possible. The more you do it, the more natural it will become.
16. You put women on a pedestal
Most guys unintentionally fall into this trap. The reason is that many guys don’t have a lot of success with women.
So, suppose one girl initiates contact or shows interest. In that case, the guy gets really excited and puts her up on a pedestal.
Then, he starts thinking that she’s different from all other women out there and that he needs to do whatever it takes to keep her interested.
He comes across as desperate and needy, which are two of the biggest turn-offs and rarely lead to serious relationships.
17. You get put in the friend zone
The friend zone is when a girl sees you as just a friend and nothing more. This usually happens because you’ve been too nice to her or have communicated that you’re not interested in anything more than friendship.
Getting out of the friend zone can be tricky, but it’s not impossible.
We discuss more on how to get out of the friend zone in our article, “Nice Guys Finishing Last; Is This Still True?“
18. You are out of shape
You know the beer belly is not doing you any favors in the dating department.
Being healthy is a sign of self-respect, and it shows that you care about yourself, which are two attractive qualities.
So get off the couch and start working on getting in shape. It will make you more attractive to women, but it’ll also improve your overall health and well-being.
Yes, this is easier said than done, which is why obesity is such a problem.
Getting healthy should be one of your top priorities for personal growth.
19. You don’t know how to dress
If you’re wearing clothes that are too big or sloppy, women will get the wrong impression.
Dressing well shows that you’re taking care of yourself and interested in looking good. It’s also a sign of confidence, which is another major turn-on for women.
So take some time to learn about fashion and how to dress well. It’ll make a big difference in how women perceive you.
20. You don’t think you are good enough
The perfect girl for you is out there, but you’ll never find her if you don’t believe that you’re good enough for her.
Having low self-esteem is a major turn-off for women. No woman wants to be with a guy who doesn’t think he’s good enough for her.
So work on building your confidence and believing in yourself. Once you do, you’ll be surprised at how much easier it is to get a girlfriend.
21. You miss the social cues
Girls are not always direct. If she’s interested, she’ll drop hints or give you signals that she likes you.
But if you’re not paying attention, you might miss these cues. This is why it’s essential to know how to read between the lines.
Maybe she’s busy, but she still makes time to talk to you, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Or perhaps she laughs at all your jokes, even the ones that aren’t funny.
These are just some of the social cues you need to be aware of. It’ll be much easier to get the girl if you can pick up on them.
How to get a girlfriend
Now that we’ve gone over reasons you might not have had much success with women let’s get into how to get a girlfriend.
Getting a girlfriend is not as difficult as you might think. It just takes some time, effort, and patience.
Here are a few things you can do to increase your chances of getting a girlfriend:
Get professional help
It’s od that getting help like a life coach or dating coach is so taboo.
If you can get someone that can get you to your desired results quicker, then why not do it?
This is an investment in yourself and your future.
Investing in yourself is the best way to get better results and start a meaningful relationship quicker.
Put the word out
Start building your social circles and put it out there that you are looking for a long-term relationship.
You are potentially missing out on meeting the girl of your dreams because you’re not letting people know you’re looking for one.
Some of your best relationships will come from mutual friends, so don’t be afraid to let them know what you’re up to.
If you see a woman talking to one of your friends that you find attractive. Then let the friend know and hopefully make the introduction.
Use online dating apps and websites
Online dating apps and websites can be great tools for meeting new people.
There are millions of people using them. They can be a great way to broaden your social circles and meet new people, including women you might not have otherwise met.
Just make sure that you’re using them for the right reasons and not as a crutch because you’re afraid to put yourself out there and meet people in person.
Be sure you set up your online dating profile correctly for the best results.
- Use a good profile picture
- Make your bio unique and show your personality
- Be honest about what you’re looking for
- Don’t use generic messages
Get the girls to come to you
Instead of trying to go out to the places the girls are, why not have them come to you.
Throw a couple awesome house parties that people would want to spread the word about.
Maybe you have a friend that is a singer. Help them out by setting up an open mic and helping spread the word about the event.
Based on your personal situation, there are tons of options here. Just be creative and have some fun with it.
Getting a girlfriend is not as difficult as you might think. It just takes some time, effort, and patience.
Use the tips in this article to increase your chances of success. And don’t forget to enjoy the process!
Why can’t I get a girlfriend FAQ
Is it normal to not have a girlfriend?
It’s normal to not have a girlfriend at any age. There is no right or wrong time to get one.
It all depends on your individual circumstances and when you’re ready to start a relationship.
If you’re finding it difficult to get a girlfriend, then there might be some things that you need to work on, such as your confidence or social skills.
How can I get a girlfriend easily?
You can get a girlfriend easily by putting in the effort to meet new people and date. You can do this by using online dating apps and websites, attending social events, and introducing yourself to women you’re interested in.
It’s also important to make sure that you’re using the right techniques when trying to get a girlfriend. Things like using generic pickup lines or trying to kiss a girl on the first date are not going to work.
Instead, focus on building a connection with the girl and getting to know her better.
It’s not going to happen overnight, but if you’re consistent and patient, you will eventually find someone you really connect with.
Is it bad to not have a girlfriend?
No, it’s not bad to not have a girlfriend. There is nothing wrong with being single, and many benefits come with it.
For example, you have more time to focus on your career, hobbies, and personal development.
You also don’t have to deal with the stress and drama of being in a relationship. Many people say, “being in a relationship is hard” for a reason.
Of course, there are also some drawbacks to being single, such as not having someone to share your life with or experiencing loneliness.
But overall, it’s not bad to be without a girlfriend.
How long does it take to find a girlfriend?
It takes as long as it takes to find a girlfriend. There is no set time frame that you should be aiming for.
Some people find the girl of their dreams within a few weeks, while others may take months or even years.
Stop doing the same stuff. If you’re finding it difficult to find a girlfriend, it’s time to change your approach.
Instead, try something new and see if that gives you better luck.
Why can’t I get the girl I want?
You can’t get the girl you want because you’re not putting in the effort to get to know her and build a connection with her.
You’re also probably not using the proper techniques when trying to get her attention.
Try getting to know her better but with the understanding that you want more than a friendship.
Establish this early, but be smooth with it, so it’s less likely you’ll be friend zoned.
How do I stop wanting a girlfriend?
You stop wanting a girlfriend by distracting yourself with other things in your life.
Focus on your hobbies, goals, and personal development.
Spend time with your friends and family.
Do things that make you happy and keep you busy.
The more time you spend focusing on other things, the less you’ll be thinking about having a girlfriend.
Where am I supposed to find a girlfriend?
You can go places like coffee shops, volunteering, and social events to find a girlfriend.
You can also try dating apps or meet someone through mutual friends.
The best way to find a girlfriend is to put yourself out there and see what happens.
You never know who you’ll meet or where you’ll meet her.