How To Not Be Shy Around A Girl: 15 Doable Tips That Work

Slowly expose yourself to the things that make you shy. This will help you become more comfortable with the things that make you nervous around girls.
Guys flirting with a group of girls

Being a shy guy or feeling nervous around a cute girl is completely normal. However, there are some things you can do to help ease your anxiety and make a good impression.

First, try to relax and be yourself.

Secondly, start a conversation by asking her questions about herself.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to show your interest in her.

Remember that everyone is different, and there is no perfect way to approach someone. Just be confident and genuine, and the rest will fall into place.

Being shy around a hot girl is not a negative. However, by learning some of these tips, you’ll be able to decrease your shyness and have better interactions with the girl you like.

Let’s look deeper into this, so you understand what you are feeling and stop putting too much pressure on yourself.

Why am I shy around a girl?

A lot of shyness is caused by the fear of rejection.

You think that if you say the wrong thing, she will reject you, and this will be embarrassing. So instead, you clam up and don’t say anything.

This is called “approach anxiety,” and it’s a common problem.

Another reason you might be shy is that you think you’re not good enough for her.

Maybe she’s really popular, and you think she’s out of your league.

These negative thoughts need to be replaced with positive ones because they’re not true, and they’re only holding you back.

Gaining self-confidence is the key to success for women.

You need to believe in yourself and your abilities if you want to be successful with women.

And the good news is, anyone can do this. It doesn’t matter how shy you are or how much experience you have.

It takes some time and effort to change your mindset and start thinking more positively about yourself and your interactions with women.

Is it okay to be nervous around a girl?

As a shy guy, beautiful women have a way of triggering our insecurities and making us feel nervous.

It is okay if you feel this way; it means you are human.

Here is the thing, all men have been in your shoes at some point in their lives, wondering what to say or do around a girl they like.

The trick is learning how to control your nerves, so they don’t take over and ruin your chances with the girl.

The first step is to understand that everyone gets nervous in social situations, even the most confident people.

So don’t beat yourself up about it or think there is something wrong with you.

Secondly, try to focus on the present moment and not on what could happen in the future.

What I mean by this is, don’t focus on the possibility of rejection or embarrassing yourself. Just focus on the here and now.

This will help you stay present and not get lost in your head.

Lastly, remember that the girl you are talking to is just another person like you.

She is not better or worse than you.

So don’t put her on a pedestal and try to act cool and relax.

Shy guy on a date making a girl laugh

How to not be shy around a girl you like

Many people try to get rid of their shyness by forcing themselves into situations where they feel uncomfortable.

This often leads to more anxiety and can make the person feel even shyer.

Slowly expose yourself to the things that make you shy. This will help you become comfortable with things that make you nervous around girls.

With that said, let’s dive into some practical tips you can use to overcome your shyness.

1. Talk to strangers

One of the best ways to overcome your shyness is to talk to strangers on a regular basis. This will help you get used to talking to people you don’t know, and it will make it easier for you to start conversations with girls you’re interested in.

Most guys want to do this with the hottest girls, but this is when you start feeling shy the most.

Also, talk to girls you are not attracted to and just have a natural conversation.

This is not about getting numbers or dates. You’re just trying to get comfortable talking to another human being.

That way, when the opportunity arises when you are around beautiful girls, you’ll realize to tend to feel insecure far less than you previously did prior.

2. Join social activities and clubs

Another great way to overcome your shyness is to join social activities and clubs. This will help you meet new people and get out of your comfort zone on a regular basis.

Going to an activity where the intention is to join other people will help you interact will the opposite sex without the pressure.

Regardless of what you are into, you can join these clubs and meet girls you find attractive.

You just have to intentionally start getting out of the house and putting yourself in the right environment.

3. Be prepared

One of the main reasons people freeze up when they’re around someone they’re interested in is because they are not prepared.

You need to have a game plan for how you’ll start and carry on a conversation with a girl you like.

Most girls are attracted to guys who are confident and can lead a conversation.

You don’t need to have the perfect pickup line, but you should at least have an idea of what you’re going to say.

This will help you relax and not feel so nervous when around her.

4. Take your time

Don’t try to force yourself into a relationship or intimate situation before you’re ready.

This will only make you more nervous and increase the chances of things going wrong.

Shy guys often try to rush into things because they operate out of fear that they will not get another opportunity.

So relax, take your time, and let things happen naturally.

5. Seek professional help

If you’ve tried everything and you’re still struggling with your shyness, it might be time to seek professional help. This is nothing to be ashamed of. On the contrary, many people need help to overcome their social anxiety.

A dating coach could be an excellent resource for you if you’re struggling to overcome your shyness.

Girls tend to be attracted to guys who are confident and outgoing. But, on the other hand, it can be hard to show these qualities if you’re shy.

A dating coach can help you develop the confidence you need to attract the girls you want.

Guy and Girl talking

6. Relax and be yourself

This is the most important thing you can do. If you’re relaxed and comfortable with yourself, you’ll be more likely to have success with women.

Remember, there is no perfect way to talk to women. Just be yourself, and the rest will fall into place.

Think about it this way. Do you really want to deal with a girl that is not interested in you for you?

If she is getting your attention and she doesn’t feel attracted to you at all, what do you think is going to happen?

A few unfortunate situations like a one-way ticket to the friend zone or ending up in simp territory.

Neither one of these help you gain a girl’s attraction.

Start believing right now that your real self is enough.

7. Don’t try so hard to impress girls during a conversation

You can better overcome shyness by not really caring about the outcome.

If you try too hard to impress a girl during a conversation, you are more likely to mess things up.

Just be yourself and let the conversation flow naturally.

Also, don’t focus on trying to say the perfect thing or getting her approval. Instead, focus on enjoying the conversation for what it is.

And lastly, don’t take things too seriously.

If you make a mistake or say something stupid, just laugh it off and move on.

Girls like guys who can laugh at themselves and are not afraid to show their vulnerability.

8. Stop thinking and start doing things

You may feel shy because you’re overthinking things.

You may be thinking about what you should say, how you should say it, and what the girl will think of you.

All of this thinking is just going to make you more nervous and increase the chances of things going wrong.

Instead of thinking about what to do, just start doing.

Be spontaneous and go with the flow.

This will help you relax and make it more likely that you’ll have success with women.

9. Use confident body language

Your body language plays a significant role in how confident you come across.

If you have good posture and make eye contact, you’ll come across as more confident.

On the other hand, if you’re slouching and avoid eye contact, you’ll come across as shy and insecure.

Focus on using confident body language, and you’ll come across as more attractive to women.

10. Have conversation starters

Shy guys have trouble talking to women because they don’t know what to say.

One way to overcome this is to have a few conversation starters in mind before you start talking to a girl.

This will help break the ice and make it easier to keep the conversation going.

Some good conversation starters include:

  • Asking her name
  • Asking her what she does for a living
  • Complimenting her on something (her dress, shoes, etc.)
  • Asking her about her hobbies or interests

Do not be afraid to make the first move. Tip #1 will help with this for sure.

Shy guy talking to a girl at the gym

11. Enhance your physical appearance

Getting your appearance together will boost your self-esteem and help you feel confident when approaching an attractive girl.

This means dressing well, taking care of your hygiene, and working out on a regular basis.

It will be easier to start conversations with women when you feel good about yourself.

12. Take improv lessons

This is a hidden gem for guys who get shy around girls and feel like they never know what to say.

Taking improv lessons will help you feel more comfortable in social situations.

This is because improv teaches you how to think on your feet and come up with things to say on the spot.

This is a great skill to have when talking to women because it allows you to keep the conversation going even if you don’t know what to say next.

Improv lessons are great to help get you comfortable in your own skin. It is usually small groups, and messing up or doing something embarrassing is part of the fun.

13. Look for choosing signals

Suppose a gorgeous girl is giving you signals that show you she is already interested in you. In that case, it should help take the pressure off because the feeling is likely mutual.

Choosing signals could include:

  • Approaching you
  • Sitting or standing close to you
  • Touching you
  • Making eye contact with you
  • Smiling at you
  • Laughing at your jokes (even if corny)

Suppose she is displaying any of these signals. In that case, it’s a good indication that she is interested in you. You should think about escalating if the interaction is going well.

Ask for her number or if she is not busy and wants to grab a cup of coffee.

14. Talk about her interests

People tend to usually be more interested in talking about themselves.

Asking questions about her and then following up with more questions helps show that you care about her and are interested in getting to know her better.

It can also help take the pressure off you because you don’t have to worry about carrying the conversation.

If you’re not sure what to say, ask her questions about her hobbies, interests, or goals.

15. Listen more than you talk

This is an excellent tip for shy guys who want to know how to talk to girls.

Girls like guys who are good listeners and take an interest in what they have to say.

So, if you’re shy and don’t know what to say, try listening more than you talk.

Ask her questions about herself and then really listen to her answers.

This will show her that you’re interested in her and care about what she has to say.

Start small and work your way up

You should try many different things and choose the few that work best for you.

Also, start small and work your way up.

For example, if you’re shy around girls, don’t try to talk to the most beautiful girl in the room right away.

Start by talking to girls you’re not attracted to as much and work your way up.

This will help you build up your confidence and make it easier to talk to girls you’re attracted to.


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