There seems to be this growing divide between men and women and what’s expected in a relationship.
While women are more vocal about what they need, guys tend to keep their thoughts and feelings close to the chest.
But that doesn’t mean that men don’t have needs and desires in a relationship!
In fact, there are some things that almost all men deeply desire in a relationship.
If you’re wondering what those things are, I’ll unpack those for you to help you better understand the man in your life.
What a man needs from a woman in a healthy relationship?
The effort must come from both sides when trying to figure things out in your relationship.
You are spending time with each other, communicating and sharing your thoughts, and building something special.
There should be a mutual give and take where both partners feel they are being heard, and their needs are met.
With that said, here are some of the top things men need from women in a relationship:
Freedom to make mistakes
You want a make to lead and get things done.
This will come with a lot of responsibility and sometimes making mistakes.
Understand that men will make mistakes.
Women should encourage their men to lead but also give them the freedom to fail and learn from their mistakes.
A woman’s support through these failures will only make him stronger and more capable in the relationship.
He’ll feel empowered and work hard to not make those mistakes again or not just throw his hands up in defeat but solve the problem with the least collateral damage.
Shared goals and visions
Every relationship needs a sense of direction.
Where do you see yourselves in the future?
Do you have similar goals and ambitions?
If not, it’s essential to find some common ground so that you can work together towards something positive.
It will be hard for him to feel supported if he feels like he is constantly defending his dreams and goals.
Instead, try to find a way that you can work together towards a shared goal or common vision.
This will show him that you are supportive and interested in what he wants to achieve.
It will also give you something to focus on and strive for together.
Build him up
Men are beaten down a lot in the world. Of course, women are too, but we are focusing on men now.
They are expected to be strong and emotionless.
Regardless of what’s happening in their world, they are supposed to put up a brave front and power through.
This can be incredibly difficult and is often a source of stress and anxiety for men.
One way to help your man is to build him up.
Make him feel good about himself and his accomplishments.
Encourage him when he is feeling down and be his biggest cheerleader.
This will help him feel better equipped to handle whatever life throws his way, and he’ll know that he can always count on you to be there for him.
Be a partner
Sometimes men just need help.
Be his partner when your guy is overwhelmed by trying to do everything on his own.
Help him with whatever he is struggling with.
This could be anything from picking up his dry cleaning or giving him a break from some of the chores he usually does around the house.
Giving him a break takes no effort on your part, just being Ok seeing things out of the ordinary a little longer than usual.
Whatever it is, work together as a team to get things done.
This will show him that you are supportive and willing to help when things get tough.
The impact of this should not be overlooked.
Loyalty is one of the most essential things needed in a relationship.
Men need to know they can trust their women to be loyal and faithful.
This means being honest, being there for each other, and not straying outside the relationship.
If he feels like you are not loyal or you are not being honest with him, it will be tough for him to trust you.
And without trust, the relationship will not be able to survive.
For example, don’t dismiss him if he respectfully tells you he is uncomfortable with an outfit you are wearing without him or around another man.
If you dismiss his concerns, your loyalty will come into question.
Support his purpose
The foundation of man is his purpose.
Not saying he should be dismissive of his responsibilities.
Still, if he feels like you are preventing him from pursuing his purpose, it will be tough for him to feel supported.
Encourage him to chase his dreams and aspirations.
Help him find ways to achieve his goals.
And most importantly, believe in him.
If you, the person he wants to share his success with, don’t believe in him, how can he fully believe in himself?
It’s important to support his purpose and help him find meaning in what he is doing.
This could be anything from his job to his hobbies or even his relationship with you.
If he feels fulfilled, he can better step up and be present in other areas of his life.
So trying to get him to do this in reverse is not a good long-term solution.
A guy wants to feel like his woman is putting in some effort on the relationship front.
Surprise him with flowers, cook him dinner, or buy him a small gift for no reason.
Do something that will make him feel loved and appreciated.
This doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Sometimes the smallest things can mean the most.
But it’s important to do things that will make him feel special and remind him why he is with you.
The more spontaneous, the better. The more this feels less like something on the calendar you do every Thursday and more like a genuine, from-the-heart moment, the more he will appreciate it.
Positive affirmations can go a long way.
Men like to feel good about themselves too.
So, take the time to compliment him on his achievements, looks, or anything else you find attractive about him.
Make sure that your compliments are genuine and specific.
And don’t forget to tell him how much you appreciate him.
Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and your guy is no different.
Make him feel accepted
One of the worst things for a man is to be doing his absolute best and feel like it’s not good enough.
This feeling of not being accepted can be incredibly damaging to his ego and to the relationship.
It’s important that you make him feel accepted, no matter what he does or how he is.
This doesn’t mean you should accept everything he does, but it does mean that you should try to see things from his perspective and understand where he is coming from.
If you can do this, it will go a long way in helping his self-esteem and feeling about the relationship.
No one wants to be around someone negative all the time.
It’s important that you be upbeat, even when things are tough.
This doesn’t mean you have to put on a fake smile and pretend like everything is perfect.
But it does mean that you should try to find the good in every situation and focus on the positive aspects of your relationship.
Many women want their men to talk to them more but adding to the pressure of the situation will keep them from opening up.
Instead, try to be light-hearted and understanding. This will make him more likely to want to talk about what’s going on in his life.
Have fun together
The monotony of relationships can cause some to lose sight of why they’re even together in the first place.
It’s essential to have fun together and keep the spark alive.
Spend time going on adventures, trying new things, or just spending time together doing something you both enjoy.
Show him respect
Respect is everything to a man.
Without it, there is no foundation for anything else.
Ensure you are always respectful to him, even when you disagree with him.
This doesn’t mean you should never fight or always do what he wants.
But it does mean that you should, in your own way, show him that you respect his opinion and his perspective.
If you can do this, it will go a long way in strengthening your relationship.
Navigating your love life can be challenging enough.
Don’t add unnecessary drama by constantly arguing or bringing outside problems into the relationship.
Try to keep things as drama-free as possible. This will make your relationship more enjoyable for both of you.
Instead, try to be level-headed and calm, even when things are tough.
This doesn’t mean you should bottle up your emotions or never fight.
But it does mean that you should try to keep the peace as much as possible.
Freedom to live his own life
You are together, but that doesn’t mean you get to control every aspect of his life.
You must give him the freedom to live his own life and make his own decisions.
This doesn’t mean you should never give your opinion or that you should always let him do what he wants.
But it does mean that you should respect his independence and allow him to be the guy you were first attracted to in the first place.
He is out here playing his own game in the modern world, and you need to let him.
Keep Your relationship private
When you are in a committed relationship for any length of time, there will be times when you feel like you need to get things off your chest with someone other than your partner.
It’s tempting in these moments to share details about your relationship with friends or family members.
Still, you must keep your relationship private.
This doesn’t mean you should never talk about your relationship with other people. But it does mean that you should be careful about who you share things with and what you share.
You don’t want to put that strain on the relationship of him going around to your family or friends, knowing that you are constantly talking negatively about him.
If you need to talk to someone, do it with someone not connected to you.
Highly trained relationship coaches, spiritual leaders, or other professionals can help you navigate these difficult conversations productively.
Know how to communicate
It’s essential to know how to communicate with your man in a way that will make him feel supported and respected.
The male brain processes information differently than the female brain.
So it’s important to consider this when you’re trying to communicate with him.
Some things to keep in mind are to avoid nagging, stay calm, and be direct.
Nagging will only make him feel defensive, and he will likely tune you out.
Staying calm will help him be receptive to your feelings and needs.
And being direct will help him understand what you’re trying to say without getting overwhelmed by too much information.
Give him space
A guy wanting his own time or space is perfectly normal doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or that he’s trying to get away from you.
Men need time to themselves just like women do.
It’s essential to give him the space he needs to recharge and return to you feeling refreshed and ready to provide you with his full attention.
Understand the more you do the opposite of the things mentioned in this list, the more likely he will want more space.
If you are keeping the pressure on him, he will never feel like he has enough space.
Why men need space?
Let’s dive deep into a guy wanting space since this is an area that can leave women feeling confused, panicked, and feeling like they did something wrong.
The reality is that men were not created to be with women 24/7.
We need time alone, time to miss you, and time to reflect on the relationship.
It doesn’t mean we are going to break up with you or that we don’t love you.
It just means we are human and need to recharge our batteries.
Women often take this space as a personal attack when it has nothing to do with them.
So, if your man starts asking for space, don’t immediately think it’s because of something you did or didn’t do.
How do you know if a guy needs alone time?
You’ll know a guy needs space because his actions will change. He will start finding ways or things to do that will keep him away longer.
He may create his own guy space in the house, start working longer hours, want to go on more guy trips, or just generally be less available.
Generally, this is not necessarily a bad thing unless you are in something like a long-distance relationship where your time is already limited.
If you notice that he needs space, refer to the list above and evaluate why he may feel like he needs more space.
Give him his free time, don’t play games, be the thing he needs, plan a fun date night and be the person he prefers to be around again.
Does giving a man space work?
Giving men space works because constant contact will not give men time to miss you. If you are always around, it’s hard for a man to get that space.
When women give men space, they are doing something that allows men to be themselves without feeling suffocated.
It also gives women a break from having to be “on” all the time. Women are often the ones who are always giving and doing for others.
Giving men space is an excellent way to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.
It also gives both parties a chance to miss each other and appreciate each other more.
Relationship Advice FAQ
What is a good guy in a relationship?
Since you are here, you likely want to improve your relationship or prepare for one.
No guy is perfect, but there is someone perfect for you.
You need to feel like you have a good guy worth the commitment to fulfilling his deepest desires in your relationship.
Here are more details about what’s considered a good guy:
He Is Consistent
You want to pay attention to the consistency of his actions.
If he is constant, it’s likely a natural thing he values or likes to do.
Once you notice these things, you need to decide whether you accept these things because they are part of him.
You should not try to change him. Those kinds of expectations are not fair to either of you.
If you appreciate the things he naturally does for you, this could make all the difference in the longevity of your relationship.
He Is Supportive
A good guy will be supportive of your decisions, even if he disagrees with them.
If he constantly puts you down or tries to make you feel bad about yourself, that is not a good sign.
Not feeling supported will, at some point, sever the emotional connection you have with him.
He Is Trustworthy
One of the most critical things in serious relationships is trust.
It will be difficult to feel close to him or have a healthy relationship if you cannot trust him.
Regardless of the chemistry you have, or how attracted you are to him, trust is just the thing that can destroy a good relationship.
He Is Respectful
A good guy will always treat you with respect, even when you have disagreements.
He will never belittle you or make you feel like you are less than he is.
Be sure you understand the difference between being assertive and being disrespectful.
You don’t want a pushover, which is why you likely got with him in the first place. So don’t confuse this with toxic masculinity.
He Is Loving
A good guy will love you with his words and actions.
He will never make you feel like you are not important or that he does not care about you.
You should always feel like you are special to him.
This will look different for everyone, but the main point is that you feel like you are a priority in his life.
In order to have a good relationship, it’s essential to be with someone who meets most of these things.
It’s not possible to find someone who is perfect and checks every one of your boxes.
Don’t miss out on a good thing over a few things that may not be that important to you.
How do you know a guy is losing interest in you?
Men tend to show when they are losing interest through their actions.
You’ll realize that he is not making an effort as he used to.
He is not taking the time to see, talk to you or hang out with other women.
His actions don’t match his words. He says one thing, but his actions show something else.
You feel like you are doing all the work in the relationship.
You should speak to a relationship coach or counselor to help you communicate and understand what’s happening before you make any decisions.
How long should I wait when he needs emotional space?
You should wait at least a week before you start to worry when he needs emotional space. If he is still not talking to you after that, you can begin to wonder what is going on.
Is he losing interest? Is something else going on in his life?
These are all valid questions that you should try to get answers to.
You don’t want to be too clingy or needy in a relationship.
So giving him the space he needs is important. Just make sure that you are not being ignored.
If he is genuinely taking space to work on himself, he will return to you when he is ready.
This is not to say you are on his time, but men pull away for a variety of reasons, and not all of them are bad.
If a guy gets his needed space, it usually will not take too long for him to at least check in.
What does a serious relationship mean to a guy?
A serious relationship with a guy means he is committed to you and ready to take things to the next level. Guys take commitment seriously because it brings compromise, changes, and often a loss of freedom.
A guy in a serious relationship is ready to make sacrifices for the woman he loves. He might not always like it, but he knows it’s part of being in a committed relationship.
He is ready to share his life with you and make plans for the future. This is a big step for guys, so when they are ready, it means a lot.
A serious relationship also means that he is willing to work on things with you. He is not going to give up at the first sign of trouble.
Instead, he will work with you to overcome any obstacles that come up. This is a massive commitment for guys and shows how much he cares about you.
Don’t take this step from him lightly.
Does needing space mean breaking up?
Needing space doesn’t mean a good partner is ready to break up. Instead, they may be prepared to break up with the monotony and difficulties of the relationship.
If your partner has never needed space before, it may be confusing as to why they are doing so now.
If you give your boyfriend space, it will not take long to understand whether they are working on their emotional needs or if they are ready to break up.
They may be feeling overwhelmed and just need some time to themselves.
Don’t assume that because they need space, they are ready to break up.
What is a male’s role in a relationship?
A male’s role in a relationship is to be a leader, provider, and protector. He is supposed to be the one who makes decisions, sets the pace, and leads the way.
A lot of women want their men to take on this role, but not all men are comfortable are capable.
Some men prefer to take a more passive role in relationships and let the woman take charge.
There is no right or wrong way to go about this. As long as the well-being of both partners is considered, it doesn’t matter who takes on what role.
Create your own set of rules and expectations for your relationship.
The most important thing is that both partners want the same things and are happy and fulfilled in the relationship.