When You Ignore Her: Build Attraction While Limiting Bad Behavior

Ignoring her causes her to feel emotions that are not easily controlled. She thinks about you when she doesn't want to. She feels the need to get your attention. And she starts to question why she is feeling this way.
Woman passionately looking at a guy she likes

Could ignoring a woman be the answer men have been looking for to build attraction with beautiful women while limiting bad behavior?

From the dawn, there has been this push-pull between the sexes.

On one hand, women want to be wanted, but they don’t want to appear easy on the other.

This is where the games begin.

She will ignore you to test your intent and see if you are for real.

She knows she can control the situation if you give up too easily.

But if you ignore her right back, she will start to wonder what you are thinking.

What is he doing?

Is he interested or not?

And this is how men put the ball back in their court.

Now she is the one who is wondering while you are in control.

The key here is not to ignore her completely, and only after you have some sure signals that she is interested.

In this article, I’ll break down what happens, why it works, and how to ignore women the right way.

Man and woman getting intimate

What happens when you ignore a girl

There are some powerful dynamics that happen when you ignore her.

  • She wonders what you think
  • She starts to doubt herself
  • She feels a need to prove herself to you
  • She chases you
  • The sexual tension builds
  • It creates a power shift
  • You become more attractive

This is because you are causing her to feel emotions that are not easily controlled.

She thinks about you when she doesn’t want to.

She feels the need to get your attention.

And most importantly, she starts to question why she is feeling this way.

Now, don’t think just because you ignore her that all these things are a guarantee.

You have to be:

  • That guy she sees as high value.
  • The one who is a challenge.
  • The one who isn’t needy.
  • The one who has self-respect.
  • The guy who isn’t the stereotypical nice guy.

She has to be interested in you first, and then you can start employing the “Ignore Technique.”

Woman sitting on mans lap in the park kissing him

Why ignoring a girl works (when timed correctly)

Ignoring women works for many reasons, but it all comes down to human nature.

We are social creatures who crave connection and approval.

When you take that away, it sparks a desire to get it back.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying before.

“People want what they can’t have.”

When you take something away, the value of that thing goes up in our minds.

She wants what she can’t have and wants to be desired.

You are tugging on those desires if you ignore her after she shows interest.

Here is why ignoring her works:

Woman pulling guy in for a kiss

She is into you

Once you know without a doubt that she is interested in you, then you can start to ignore her.

Not in a dismissive way but more so in a, I’m not available for you kind of way.

You don’t answer all her texts right away.

You make plans without her.

You don’t always drop everything to see her.

In other words, you act like a busy person with a life outside her.

Woman kissing her crush

She wants your validation

When you are a confident guy that has his life together, a real woman will want to be a part of that and feel worthy of it.

But, there is one thing missing, your approval.

Ignoring her after she has shown interest is a way of saying I’m not just going to give you my attention because you want it.

She’ll realize that she has to work to get your validation and attention.

It’s the whole concept of women chasing men.

Couple in a relationship sitting and smiling at each other

She can see a long-term relationship with you

Let’s say she has been in the ugly cycle of being in an unhealthy relationship with low-value men, then you come along.

You’ll be her knight in shining armor.

When she spends time with a guy like you who has high self-esteem, loves himself, and has a great life outside of her, it makes her start to see the potential for a long-term relationship.

Woman kissing a man on the beach

You are in a long-term relationship

Romantic relationships can take all the logic out of our heads, and emotions can start to control us.

In a long-term relationship, women will start to doubt themselves more.

They’ll question your love for them and wonder what you are thinking.

To maintain healthy relationships ignoring is a high-level technique that you must use sparingly and at the correct times.

Be sure to read the “Warning: Ignoring her isn’t always the best answer” section below.

Woman kising a guy standing in the water at the beach

You’re a desirable challenge

Guys with low self-esteem and no options will give women all the attention they want whenever they want it.

This is not attractive to women.

Most women are attracted to men who have the option to be with many women or have solid social circles and don’t always have time for them.

It shows that you are a high-value man with a lot going on.

Again, this is playing on human nature and women’s natural desires.

Man and woman cuddling in bed

There’s undeniable sexual attraction

A girl interested in you will definitely start to feel a sexual attraction toward you.

It’s that physical chemistry that starts to build between you.

The more she feels it, the more she’ll want it.

Ignoring her and giving her attention when you are ready is a way of keeping your manly frame and refusing to be at her beck and call.

It pulls on her sexual attraction for you.

Not giving in puts you above other guys because only a certain type of guy will put a hot girl on hold when there’s physical attraction.

This displays a much high level of self-confidence that women are attracted to.

When to ignore her

The dating world, at any stage, can be a minefield.

There are games being played all the time, and women are very good at playing them.

If you’re not careful, you can easily fall into a trap and get played.

This is why it’s so important to know when to ignore her and when to give her attention.

The wrong move at the wrong time can ultimately backfire, and you’ll end up in the friend zone or looking like a needy wimp.

It may take a few rounds. But if you are consistent, she’ll finally notice that the bad behavior she is displaying will not work anymore or be tolerated.

Here are some general guidelines for when to ignore her:

Ignore her when she’s playing hard to get

Yes, to a certain extent, you should woo a girl, but if she’s giving you the cold shoulder and acting uninterested, don’t sweat it.

She’s just trying to see how much attention she can get from you.

If you give in too easily, she’ll think she has all the advantages in the relationship and will start to take you for granted.

The best thing to do is ignore her until she returns.

Ignore her when she’s testing you

Women will often test men to see how they react in certain situations.

She may start a fight with you or try to push your buttons just to see how you will respond.

If you get defensive or try to reason with her, she’s won the test.

Start with telling her in an assertive and respectful way, “This is not how you handle _____. We’ll talk later.”

The best thing you can do is ignore her until she calms down and comes to her senses.

Ignore her when she’s being emotional

Women express their emotions differently from many men and tend to let their feelings control them more.

When a woman is being too emotional, she’s not thinking straight.

She may say or do things that she doesn’t mean.

The best thing to do in this situation is to ignore her until she’s had time to calm down and think more clearly.

Ignore her when she’s being flaky

Ignoring women that don’t respect your time is a must.

If she flakes on plans or is constantly changing her mind, she’s not worth your time and attention.

Stop responding to her texts, calls, and messages until she shapes up.

At this point, she needs to put in more effort and show that she’s serious about seeing you before you give her any more of your time.

Ignore her when she talks about other guys

If a woman feels comfortable enough to talk about other guys to you, there are a few things happening.

She has either put you in the friend zone, testing your reaction, or trying to validate her interest in you.

If she has friend-zoned you, then you have a decision to make. But don’t let it be the decision of I’ll be a friend and try to win her over.

If she is testing you, respectfully say something like, “I’m here with you. What makes you think I want to hear about other guys?”

Make sure to say it in a way where she understands you are questioning her interest in you.

If she is trying to validate her interest, maybe by referencing another guy in a negative light that obviously shows her interest in you.

Hear it and push the conversation along like it wasn’t even said.

Ignore her when she wants to fight

Even in a good relationship, sometimes she will just seem like she wants to fight.

She may be having a bad day, is stressed out, or taking her anger out on you.

The best thing you can do is just walk away and ignore her until she’s cooled down.

It’ll save you a lot of headache and drama in the long run.

Women are complex creatures, and there will be times when it’s just better to ignore them.

It may not be the popular opinion, but there are certain circumstances when ignoring a girl will save you a lot of time and energy.

Ignore her when she is being needy

Sometimes a girl will be basically telling you through her body language and actions that she wants more attention.

She may start to get clingy, always want to be around you, or get jealous easily.

You need to show her that you’re not going to be at her beck and call 24/7.

One way to do this is by ignoring her when she’s being needy.

It’ll give her a chance to miss you and realize that she can’t take you for granted.

Now, this is not necessarily a bad thing if you are in a committed long-term relationship.

You need to give your girl enough attention so that she feels loved and secure in the relationship.

You don’t want her to seek attention from other guys and become your next ex-girlfriend.

But if you find that you’re always the one giving and she’s taking, it’s time to start ignoring her a little bit more.

Ignore her when she’s being negative

Women will often be more emotional and expressive than men, which can lead to them being negative.

If you’re constantly being bombarded with her negativity, it can start to bring you down.

The best thing you can do is to ignore her when she’s being negative.

You don’t need that kind of toxicity in your life.

It’s not worth your time and energy trying to change her mind or fix her.

As a man staying positive in your thoughts, social circles, and relationships is important.

That’s why here, at W.A.R. of Men, we advocate using daily affirmations and finding your purpose as a man.

This will help keep you balanced and sane when she’s being negative.

Girl smiling with her crush on a date

Warning: Ignoring her isn’t always the best answer

Don’t be decided by these YouTube relationship experts that only give you one perspective.

Just like everything in life, there are exceptions to the rule.

For example, if she’s trying to talk to you about something important and you’re just ignoring her, that’s not good.

You need to be able to communicate with each other and work through problems together.

Also, if you’re ignoring her because you’re trying to punish her, that’s not going to end well either.

Punishing her is just going to make her resent you more and push her away.

The bottom line is that you need to use your best judgment in each situation.

Here are some reasons why ignoring her will backfire:

couple kissing in the sand

Current dating culture

When you look around online, most women have all the power.

They get tons of DM’s, free drinks, and attention from guys.

So if you’re ignoring her because you think it will make her want you more, you’re wrong.

She probably won’t even notice that you’re gone.

You need to stand out and be different to get her attention.

She is not going to chase you

Some women are simply not going to start chasing you.

In today’s dating culture, women are used to guys chasing them.

So if you’re ignoring her in the hopes that she’ll start chasing you, it’s not likely it’s going to happen.

There has been an unfortunate shift where many women now associate chasing with courting.

She will move on to the next guy if you are not chasing after her.

Whether or not it will last is not the point.

If you can’t get and keep her attention, you never get into the game.

She’s educated

Women date up.

So if she is educated and doing well, you need to be able to offer her more than just your attention.

You need to be able to offer her an exciting life, interesting conversations, and a challenge.

You may be a good-looking guy who will get your foot in the door, but you need to bring more to the table if you want to keep her around.

Couple having a romantic evening together

She has options

You are not the only guy she is talking to.

She has other options, and she knows it.

If you’re ignoring her, she will move on to the next guy giving her the attention she wants.

You have to get strong choosing signals and know that she chooses you before the ignoring technique is of any benefit.

You want to ensure she is texting you first, calling you, flirting with you, and making plans with you.

Make sure she is putting in the effort, and then you can start ignoring her a little bit more.

She doesn’t play games

You will come across women who know what they want and have been there and done that.

They are not interested in playing games, and if you start ignoring them, they will move on.

You need to be real with her and let her know where you stand.

Ignoring her in this situation is pointless because she will be forward about her feelings and intentions.

Ignoring her in this situation before a connection is made will cause her to lose interest quickly.

Woman kissing a guy on the cheek

She has her own life

If she is close with family members, has a large social circle, or is really into her hobbies, she is not going to be as invested in you.

This doesn’t mean you’re not important to her, but she has a life outside you.

She will not wait by the phone for you to call or text her.

She has other things going on, and ignoring her will not make her more invested in you.

In fact, it will do the opposite.

She will think you are not interested and likely move on.

You will need to put in a little more effort until she likes you and wants to include you in her life.

You’ve never ignored her before

If you’ve been in a relationship for a while and ignoring her is something you’ve never done previously, it will backfire.

She will think you are taking her for granted and feel you are disregarding her and that you no longer care for her.

She will feel unloved and unimportant, and it will trigger negative emotions towards you.

You need to be careful with this one because it can quickly lead to the end of a relationship.

You need to complement ignoring her with communicating first.

She needs to understand where you stand so she will understand your intentions.

Ignoring her can work if done correctly, but you need to weigh the pros and cons carefully before deciding if it’s the right move for your relationship.

Final thoughts

Knowing when to ignore a girl can be tricky, but it’s an important skill to have if you want to be successful with women.

The key is to be confident in yourself and your value.

We must always be respectful to the women we include in our lives.

The technique behind ignoring women is simply about standing out from how most guys handle women.

It’s not about being neglectful, vindictive, or selfish.

It’s about communicating your value in a way that women respond to.

Ignoring women can lead to more attraction, connection, and commitment when done correctly.

Done poorly, it will result in women losing interest, feeling disrespected, or even ending the relationship.

Unfortunately, we have to utilize these methods for women to start paying attention to us, but that’s how it is.

When in doubt, just remember that communication is key.


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