When there’s a cute girl you’re interested in, it’s natural to want to do whatever you can to get her to like you.
But most guys tense up, never shoot their shot, or put themselves in the friend zone because they’re afraid of rejection.
When you want to attract women or get the one you like to actually like back, you need to first understand what it is that makes women tick.
Many guys struggle to get past their negative emotions and self-limiting beliefs around women and dating. They give up too easily when they don’t see results immediately.
Where to start to find out if she’s interested
When it comes to getting a girl to like you, guys tend to want to go from hardly ever talking to a girl to trying to become a pickup artist overnight.
Look, you can’t go from Level 0 to even Level 2 without first going through the basics. It just doesn’t work like that.
The first thing you need to do is get on her radar. This can be done by simply saying hi.
That’s right, Level 1 is simply taking the initiative to say hello.
If you don’t take this first step, nothing else will likely happen. The girl will never know that you exist, let alone that you’re interested in her.
So say hi next time you see her around campus or at work. It doesn’t have to be anything special or fancy, just a simple hello.
What if she doesn’t respond?
Don’t take it personally if the girl doesn’t respond when you say hi. It could be that she didn’t hear you, or she’s just not interested.
There’s no need to get upset or give up. Just move on and try again with someone else.
What you don’t want to do is keep trying to talk to the same girl over and over again when she’s clearly not interested. That will just make you look desperate.
How to get her attention
Women tend to be attracted to confident guys who know what they want in life. So one of the best ways to attract a girl’s attention is by being confident and purposeful with your actions.
This doesn’t mean that you need to be cocky or arrogant. Just act like you know what you’re doing and where you’re going in life.
Girls are also attracted to guys who are a little mysterious. So don’t be afraid to play it cool and keep her guessing a little bit.
Start with holding eye contact. Don’t look away as soon as she looks at you. Instead, hold your gaze for a few seconds and smile before looking away.
This will let her know that you’re confident and interested in her.
It’s important to smile when you interact with the girl you like. This will make you seem friendly and approachable.
And not the weird creepy guy that stares at attractive girls.
How to take things to the next level
Once you’ve said hi and gotten on her radar, it’s time to start building a rapport. This is where you can start to find out if she’s interested in you or not.
The best way to do this is through conversation. This is Level 2.
While she’s talking, pay attention to her body language. Is she leaning in towards you? Is she making eye contact? Does she touch you?
These are all good signs that she’s interested in you.
Another good way to find out if she likes you is by paying attention to how she responds to your jokes. For example, she probably likes you if she laughs a lot or seems genuinely amused.
How to ask her out
Once you’ve built up a rapport and you’re pretty sure she likes you, it’s time to take things to the next level: asking her out on a date.
This is where many guys get nervous and start to doubt themselves. They start thinking things like, “She’s way out of my league. There’s no way she would say yes.”
If you feel this way, it’s time to snap out of it. Remember, confidence is key.
The best way to ask her out is just to be direct and to the point. Don’t try to be cute or funny. Instead, just say, “Hey, I’d like to take you out on a date.”
If she says yes, then great! If not, then don’t worry about it.
Hold that confident frame and move on like you have other options out there.
Most importantly, you took the initiative and put yourself out there.
It will get easier as you continue to escalate and talk to other girls.
How to get girls to like you
Now that you understand the basics, we’ll explore many other tips you can use to make sure you’re successful with women.
The truth is, there’s no magic bullet when it comes to getting girls to like you. But there are certain things that you can do to increase your chances.
Here are a few tips:
1. Be Confident
The number one trait that most girls find attractive in a man is confidence.
This has been mentioned several times because it’s important and worth its own section.
Confidence is the belief in yourself and your ability to succeed.
It’s about feeling good in who you are and not caring what other people think.
Confidence is attractive to women because it shows that you’re a high-value man who isn’t afraid to go after what he wants and has high self-esteem.
The best way to become more confident is through practice. It’s not always natural, but it can be developed over time.
One way to practice is by talking to other people, especially women. This will help you overcome your approach anxiety and learn how to carry yourself confidently.
2. Make her laugh
Most women love men who can make them laugh. This is because laughter releases endorphins, which make people feel good.
And who doesn’t want to feel good?
Humor is also a great way to break the ice and get a conversation started. It’s a great way to start building rapport with someone new.
There are two types of humor that you can use: self-deprecating and cocky/funny.
Self-deprecating humor is making fun of yourself. This can be a great way to break the ice and get a conversation started because it shows that you’re comfortable making fun of yourself.
It also shows that you have a good sense of humor and don’t take yourself too seriously.
Cocky/funny humor is making fun of other people or situations. This can be a great way to build rapport and get a conversation going because it shows that you’re confident and have a sense of humor.
It’s important to use this type of humor in moderation. There is a fine line between being arrogant and being funny.
3. Compliment her sincerely
Women love compliments, especially when they’re genuine and make them feel good about themselves.
Tell her she looks nice, that you like her sense of style, or that she’s funny. Whatever it is, make sure it’s something that you actually believe.
Avoid generic compliments like “you’re pretty” or “you have a nice smile.” These can come across as insincere and even creepy.
If you want a girl to like you, you must differentiate yourself from all the other guys trying to get her attention.
Smiling is one of the quickest and easiest ways to make a good first impression.
Especially if you naturally have a stern face that may make you seem unapproachable.
Smiling makes you seem more approachable, friendly, and open. It also makes you seem more confident.
All of these are qualities that women find attractive in a man.
5. Make eye contact
Making eye contact is another quick and easy way to gauge her interest. It shows that you’re interested in her and confident enough to hold her gaze.
At this point, by making eye contact along with another confident gesture like a head nod or slight smile, you’re conveying that you want to talk to her.
If she doesn’t look away or break eye contact first, there’s a good chance she wants to talk to you too.
6. Be yourself
This may seem like common sense, but it’s an important point.
Would you rather be with someone you have to pretend around or someone who accepts you for who you are?
Of course, you want to be with someone who accepts you for who you are. And that’s what women want too.
So be yourself and don’t try to be someone you’re not. It’s unattractive and will only make things more difficult in the long run.
7. Just relax and go with the flow
Think about how easy it is when you are having a good time with your guy friends.
You’re not thinking about what to say next or how you should act. Instead, you’re just going with the flow and enjoying yourself.
The same goes for women. Just relax, be yourself, and go with the flow. The more fun you’re having, the more fun she’s going to have too.
And that’s a win for everyone involved.
8. Don’t try too hard
Trying too hard is one of the biggest turn-offs for girls. It makes you seem desperate, needy, and insecure.
When you start talking to a girl, just take it easy and don’t try to do too much. Let the conversation flow naturally and take things at your own pace.
Don’t feel like you have to impress her or “win” her over. Just relax, be yourself, and let things happen naturally.
You want to set the frame where she is the one who actually has to try to impress you.
9. Keep the conversation light and fun
The goal of the conversation is to build rapport, create a connection, and have fun.
You don’t want to talk about serious topics like politics or religion right off the bat. These topics can be polarizing and make it difficult to connect with someone.
Instead, keep the conversation light and fun. Talk about things that you’re interested in and that you enjoy talking about.
Find common ground with her and keep the conversation flowing.
That way, you can get insights into where you may want to take her on a date.
10. Touch her
If you make respectful contact with her, see how she reacts. You can escalate things further if her body language signals that she’s comfortable with your touch.
Touching her is a great way to create a connection and add some sexual tension to the interaction.
You want to keep that frame because you want her to know that you don’t just want to be friends.
11. Ask her out on a date
Once you’ve built up some rapport and attraction, it’s time to ask her out on a date.
So many guys have good interactions and build rapport and attraction, but they never ask her out.
So don’t make that mistake. If you want to go on a date with her, then ask her out. It’s that simple.
12. Read her body language
If you get good at reading body language, it will be easier to understand if you can get a girl to like you, should you make a move, and if she is interested in you.
Positive body language signs:
- She faces towards you when talking
- She mirrors your body language
- She crosses her legs towards you
- She touches you while talking or laughing
- She keeps eye contact with you
Negative body language signs:
- She faces away from you when talking
- Her arms are crossed in front of her
- She doesn’t mirror your body language
- She looks around the room while talking to you
- She breaks eye contact with you often
13. Stay in the present moment
This can ruin a great conversation.
If everything is light and jokes are thrown around, don’t switch the topic to something serious.
The conversation should be like a tennis match where both people are hitting the ball back and forth. If one person stops hitting the ball, then the game is over.
The same goes for conversation. If you switch to a serious topic, she may not know how to respond, and the conversation will fizzle out.
14. Know when to walk away
Sometimes, a girl is just not interested in you no matter what you do.
In these situations, it’s best to just walk away and move on to someone else.
Believe it or not, this could also work in your favor.
Girls like positive attention. So, if you take that away and go on about your life, she may start to wonder why you’re not paying attention to her.
It’s a natural instinct to want what we can’t have. So, if you walk away, she may start to like you more.
15. Don’t be a doormat
You never want to lose self-respect by being a doormat.
If she’s constantly taking advantage of or disrespecting you, it’s time to walk away.
A girl who likes you will treat you with respect and won’t take advantage of you.
Start how you want to finish. If you start the interaction being a doormat, then that’s how she’ll treat you for the rest of the relationship.
16. Surround yourself with other women
If you are seen with a whole group of attractive women, she will start to wonder why all these women are around you.
- Are they your girlfriend?
- Are they just friends?
- Do they all like you?
She’ll start to get curious and want to learn more about you. This can work in your favor because it will get her to interact with you more.
When she sees you have options but show interest in her, it will pique her interest more.
17 . Be a gentleman
If you hold the door open for her or pull out her chair, she’ll be impressed.
These little things show that you’re a gentleman and care about her.
In today’s society, chivalry is often seen as old-fashioned. However, girls still love it when a guy is a gentleman.
They likely have seen older men in her family, which will stand out to her positively.
18. Don’t move too fast
She’ll likely push you away if you try to get too intimate too soon.
You need to take things slow and let the relationship develop naturally.
If you try to force it, she may not be ready, and you could end up pushing her away.
If you notice she’s pushing away from you or is uncomfortable with your touch, it’s likely because you’re moving too fast.
19 . Never bring up your ex
She doesn’t want to hear about your ex and how great or horrible she was. She only wants to hear about you and how great you are.
Comparing her to your ex will make her feel insecure and likely turn her off.
If you can talk negatively about someone you were with while with someone new, it only makes her wonder what you’ll say about her when you’re with someone else.
20. Don’t be clingy
This is a major turn-off for most girls.
Especially if you are not in a committed relationship. It may be tolerated at first but ultimately, being clingy is something your want to avoid.
Clingy guys come across as being needy and desperate. Neither of these is an attractive quality.
Be self-aware and make sure you’re not being too clingy. If you are, back off and give her some space.
21. Don’t play games
Games like playing hard to get or making her jealous will only backfire in the long run.
Girls can see right through these games, and they’ll likely lose interest in you if they think you’re playing games.
Be genuine and honest with your intentions. If you like her, tell her.
Don’t try to play it cool or make her think you’re not interested. This will only confuse her, and she’ll likely move on to someone more genuine.
22. Have goals for yourself
Think about one of the main things you will hear a girl say she wants in a guy.
Girls want a guy who has goals and is working towards them. They don’t want a lazy guy just going through the motions of life.
Show her that you have ambition and are driven to achieve your goals. This will turn her on more than anything else.
Having goals also shows that you’re not just living day to day but that you have a purpose. This is an attractive quality in a man.
23. Be spontaneous
Do things that are out of the ordinary and unexpected. This will keep her on her toes, and she’ll never be bored with you.
Being spontaneous shows that you’re not afraid to take risks and that you don’t live a boring life.
Girls are attracted to guys who live exciting lives and are always up for anything.
Trying new things together will allow you to find common interests and will create new memories together.
24. Take care of yourself
One of the best ways to get a girl to like you is to be self-sufficient.
This means taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If you’re not in a good place mentally or emotionally, it will be hard to get a girl to like you.
You need to be confident and secure with yourself before you can expect someone else to be.
Being physically fit is also essential. Girls are attracted to guys who take care of their bodies.
It’s important to be completely honest with yourself. If you’re unhappy with who you are, it will be hard to get a girl to like you.
Work on being the best version of yourself, and the rest will fall into place.
25. Create a life of positivity
People want to be associated with happy and positive people.
No one wants to be around someone who is always negative and complaining.
If you want a girl to like you, you need to create an exciting life for yourself.
Do things that make you happy and that makes your life more enjoyable.
The more positive energy you put out there, the more likely you’ll attract someone who wants to be a part of your life.
26. Your social circle says a lot about you.
To attract a high-quality girl, you need to surround yourself with high-quality people.
You are a product of your environment. So if you want to change your life, you need to change the people you associate with.
Your social circle should be filled with positive, ambitious, and successful people.
These are the people who will help you achieve your goals and who will make your life more enjoyable.
This will also increase your chances of meeting mutual friends who can introduce you to high-quality girls.
27. Dress to Impress
You never know when you will run into the girl of your dreams.
It’s important to always dress your best so that you’re prepared for any opportunity that comes your way.
Even if you’re just going to the grocery store, take the time to look your best.
Spend time learning about fashion and experimenting with your style.
Find a style that makes you feel confident and attractive.
You’ll feel good when you look good, and girls will notice.
28. Take charge
Being able to be strong will for sure win you bonus points with a girl.
Assertiveness shows that you’re confident and that you know what you want.
Girls are attracted to guys who can take charge and are not afraid to go after what they want.
So, the next time you see a girl you’re interested in, don’t be afraid to make your move.
Stay away from phrases like:
- “Should I” – This shows that you’re unsure of yourself.
- “I don’t know; what do you think?” – This can take away from your leadership frame.
These phrases show that you’re not sure of yourself and are looking for her approval.
Instead, use phrases like:
- “I think we should” – “I think we should get coffee.”
- “I’m going to” – “I’m going to make my move.”
- “Let’s go – “Let’s go see that new movie.”
This will show her that you’re confident and know what you want.
29. Don’t be a follower, be a leader
If you want to get a girl to like you, you need to be a leader, not a follower.
Girls are attracted to guys who are confident and have their own lives.
Guys who follow the crowd are often seen as insecure and lacking direction.
Do your own thing, and don’t be afraid to be different.
Be confident in your own skin, and don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd.
30. Be a challenge
Girls are attracted to guys who are a challenge. They want someone who will not give them everything they want right away.
If you want to get a girl to like you, then you need to be a challenge.
Make her work for your attention, and don’t always be available when she wants to see you.
Be busy with your own life, and don’t drop everything just to be with her.
This will only make you look needy and desperate.
Attractive girls will always have guys approach them, so they’re used to getting attention.
You need to stand out from all the other guys if you want to get her to like you.
31. Keep yourself well groomed
Take more effort in your appearance and make sure you’re always well-groomed.
This means paying attention to your hair, clothes, and hygiene.
Invest in quality grooming products and make sure you’re taking care of yourself.
This will show her that you’re a high-quality man who is worth her time and attention.
A general rule of thumb is that you should always look your best when you’re around her.
32. Wear clothes that fit
One of the easiest ways to improve your appearance is to make sure your clothes fit properly.
Many guys make the mistake of wearing clothes that are too big or too small for them.
This can make you look sloppy and take away from your overall appearance.
Make sure you’re taking the time to find clothes that fit your body type and flatter your figure.
33. Talk to her
Seems obvious, I know.
I also know you have come across girls where you had the opportunity to say hello, but didn’t because you were too shy, scared, or didn’t know what to say.
There are three ways you can start a conversation with a girl:
- With a compliment
- With a question
- With an observation
Do not try to impress her by putting on an act or acting like someone you’re not.
Be yourself and let her get to know the real you.
34. Ask her to do things for you
Most guys will bend over backward to do things for a girl they like.
They’ll do anything to make her happy and to try to impress her.
While it’s good to be accommodating, you don’t want to be a doormat.
Make sure you’re taking the time to ask her to do things for you.
Asking her to do things for you creates a dynamic where you’re both giving and receiving.
Girls are generally nurturing by nature and like caring for people.
Asking her to do things for you will tap into this instinct, making her feel good about helping you out.
35. Use the PushPull technique
This flirty technique is all about giving and taking.
You give her attention, and then you pull it away.
This creates a little bit of tension, and it will keep her interested in you.
A simple example would be complimenting her and then making a joke about her.
For instance, you could say something like, “You’re beautiful, but you’re also kind of ditzy.”
The goal is to get her to validate herself to you.
You want her to prove that she’s not just pretty but also intelligent and interesting.
36. Be a good listener
One of the most important things you can do when talking to a girl is to be a good listener.
Make sure you’re taking the time to listen to what she has to say and show that you’re interested in her.
Ask follow-up questions and make sure you’re engaged in the conversation.
Active listening will show her that you care about her and are invested in getting to know her.
37. Flirt with her
Flirting is all about fun and games.
It’s about showing someone you’re interested in them without being too serious.
Flirting is a lighthearted way to create attraction, and it’s an important part of the early stages of courtship.
There are many different ways to flirt, but some basic flirting tips include making eye contact, smiling, and complimenting her.
Keep it genuine, and don’t spend time rehearsing the “best pickup lines” in the mirror.
Girls are only open to being flirted too by the right guy.
So if she is not brushing you off, it’s likely she is open to being flirted with by you.
So stop worrying about getting rejected and start flirting with her.
38. Have your own life
If it’s all about her, then she’s going to get bored.
You want to make sure you have your own life and that you’re not too reliant on her for your happiness.
Make sure you’re taking the time to see your friends, pursue your hobbies, develop new skills and do things that make you happy.
The more well-rounded you are, the more attractive you’ll be to her.
39. Her friend’s matter
If you are in good standing with her friends, then you’re in good standing with her.
Make sure you’re taking the time to get to know her friends and make a good impression on them.
You want them to like you and to think you’re a cool guy.
If they don’t, it will be much harder for you to win her over.
40. Do Something Special For Her
Since you are present and a good listener, you’ll likely catch hidden gems about her.
Use these to your advantage by doing something special for her based on what you know.
It could be as simple as cooking her dinner because she loves to eat but never has the time to cook.
Or maybe you got tickets to a show coming into town that you know she would love.
You can also frame it as a surprise.
Let her know you have something planned but don’t tell her what it is.
She’ll be pleasantly surprised, and it will show her that you’re thoughtful and considerate.
41. Make an effort with her family
If you want to win her over, you need to make an effort with her family.
Take the time to get to know them and make a good impression.
Show them that you’re a stand-up guy worthy of their daughter’s affections.
How do you tell if a girl likes you?
You have been doing the work using the tips above, but you’re still unsure if she likes you.
Here are some signs to look for that will help you figure it out:
- She’s constantly texting or messaging you online – If she’s always the one initiating contact, then it’s a good sign that she’s interested.
- She wants to know all about you – She’s always asking you questions and seems genuinely interested in your life.
- She remembers the details – She remembers things you’ve told her about yourself, which shows that she’s paying attention.
- She introduces you to her friends and family – If she’s comfortable enough to introduce you to the people who matter to her, it’s a good sign that she likes you.
- She talks about future plans – She’s always talking about future plans and what she wants to do with her life. This shows that she’s thinking about a future with you in it.
- She makes an effort to spend time with you – She’s always finding ways to spend more time with you and always wants to know what you’re up to.
- She’s touchy-feely with you – She’s always touching or playfully hitting you when she’s around.
- She flirts with you – She’s always flirting with you, whether it’s through words or body language.
- She’s always happy to see you – No matter what mood she’s in, she’s always happy to see you and lights up when you’re around.
- She makes you a priority – She always puts you first and always makes sure you’re happy.
These are just some signs to look for that will help you figure out if a girl likes you.
If you see most or all of these signs, it’s a good indication that she’s interested.
How do you get a girl to continue to like you?
You can get a girl to continue to like you by being different from other guys. If you make her feel like you are the best choice for her, she will continue to like you.
This is not about waiting on her hand and foot or being at her beck and call. This is about making it clear that you are the kind of guy she should be with.
She wants a confident, funny, charming, and intelligent man. Show her that you are all of those things and more.
Make sure you keep up the good work after you win her over. Don’t let your guard down and think that you can stop trying.
The only way to keep a girl interested is to continue being the best choice.
What to do if she’s losing interest?
Once a girl has lost interest, it can be hard to win her back.
You need to ask yourself what caused her to lose interest in the first place.
- Did you stop making an effort?
- Did you take her for granted?
- Did you start acting differently around her?
These are all things that can cause a girl to lose interest.
If you want to win her back, then you need to make a change. You need to show her you’re willing to work to get her back.
Start by making more of an effort. Show her that you still care about her and are willing to make things right.
Now, if you are fresh from a first date and things are not escalating positively, you must be willing to just walk away.
It doesn’t feel great, especially when you really like a girl, but sometimes it’s just not meant to be.
If a girl has lost interest, the best thing you can do is move on and find someone who does appreciate you.
Is it possible to make a girl like you again?
It is possible to make a girl like you again. Just remember that it’s going to take some time and effort on your part.
You need to show her that you’re still the same great guy she fell for in the first place.
Make more of an effort, be more understanding, and be there for her when she needs you.
If you do all these things, you’re giving her the chance to see that you’re still the same great guy she fell for.
And who knows, maybe she’ll realize she wants to be with you again.
Get a girl to like you FAQ
What is the quickest way to get a girl?
There is no one “quick” way to get a girl. Everyone is different, and it will take some time to find the right person for you.
Focusing on finding someone quickly will usually lead to disappointment. So instead, focus on taking your time to find someone who is right for you.
Can you make a girl like you back?
You can not make a girl like you back. This is something that she will have to decide on her own.
If you make her feel comfortable and safe, she may come to like you back, but it’s not something you can force.
How do I get a girl interested in me again through text?
To get a girl interested in you again through text, start by sending her short, flirty messages. Then stop texting for a few days to make her wonder where you’ve gone.
After a few days, if she hasn’t texted you first, then likely she’s still not interested, then it may be time to move on.