The term beta male has gained popularity in recent years, particularly in dating and relationships.
A beta male is typically seen as a lower-value man who is not as successful or desirable as an alpha male.
But are beta males really less desirable and destined to be mistreated and have unsuccessful relationships?
Let’s take a closer look at what beta males are and whether or not they are at a disadvantage in the dating world.
What is a beta male?
A beta male is generally considered a lower-status man who is not as desirable as an alpha male.
While the term initially referred to the male dominance hierarchy in the animal kingdom, people adopted it to describe men in a human context.
In the animal kingdom, alpha males are typically the leaders of the pack, the ones who are most successful in mating and reproduction.
On the other hand, Betas are generally lower in the hierarchy.
They may not be as successful in reproduction, are less desired by females, and may be mistreated by the alpha male.
However, it’s important to note that in the animal kingdom, beta males still play an essential role in the pack.
They may not be leaders, but they are still valuable group members.
The same is true of betas in the human context.
What are the characteristics of a beta male?
Some common characteristics make beta males considered lower value.
Not confident in themselves or their abilities
Beta men are often seen as being less confident than alpha males.
They may doubt their abilities and feel like they are not good enough.
This can make them feel like they are not worthy of success or love.
They may also put others down to make themselves feel better.
Confidence is key to so many things when it comes to masculinity and being a successful man.
If a man does not believe in himself, it is tough for others to believe in him too.
If you are a beta male, you can work on your confidence by setting yourself small goals and achieving them.
Practice reciting positive daily affirmations throughout the day.
And remind yourself that you are just as capable and deserving of success as anyone else.
Complains a lot
Another common characteristic of beta males is that they complain a lot.
They may dwell on their problems and feel like the world is against them.
This can make them seem negative, which is not attractive to most people, especially women.
If you are a beta male and find yourself complaining, try to focus on the positive things in your life.
Make a list of things you are grateful for each day.
And instead of dwelling on your problems, take action to solve them.
Is dependent on others
Betas end up being too dependent on others, which can make them seem needy and weak.
They may rely on others for financial support, emotional support, or even just validation.
If you are too dependent on others, work on becoming more self-sufficient and purpose-driven.
Start by taking care of your own needs instead of relying on others to do it for you.
And focus on building a life you are excited about instead of one that revolves around other people.
Insecure and lack of self-esteem
Both alpha and beta males have insecurities.
But beta males tend to put too much focus on these things and let them hold them back from achieving their potential.
They may also have low self-esteem, making them doubt their abilities and worthiness.
If you are a beta male, working on building your confidence and self-esteem is essential.
Start by accepting yourself for who you are and stop comparing yourself to others.
Remember that you are unique, and no one else is like you in the world.
And focus on building positive relationships with yourself and others.
Passes the blame
Betas tend to pass the blame instead of taking responsibility for their actions.
They may make excuses for their mistakes or try to shift the blame onto someone else.
This beta behavior needs to be changed if you want to succeed.
Start by owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for them.
And instead of making excuses, look for solutions.
Then act on them.
Positive forward momentum is the key to positive outcomes.
People-pleasers who don’t like conflict
Beta males may try to please everyone and end up being a yes man.
They may avoid conflict and agree with others even when they don’t really believe it.
This can make them seem spineless and weak, aka “Nice Guys.”
If you find yourself being a yes man, start speaking up for yourself and expressing your valid opinions.
It is okay to disagree with others and to be assertive.
In fact, it is often admired.
Has a passive mindset
A beta male will take the passive role in many areas of life, like in romantic relationships, friendships, and even work.
They may be scared to take charge and step into a leadership role, even if only temporarily.
This can limit their success and prevent them from achieving their full potential.
If you are a beta male, work on changing your mindset.
The thought of being responsible when things go wrong can be scary, but it is also empowering.
And remember, you are capable of handling anything that comes your way.
Avoid taking risks
A beta male will shy away from the norm or anything that would bring them outside their comfort zone.
They may avoid taking risks, even if it means missing out on an opportunity for growth or success.
If you find yourself avoiding new experiences or opportunities, start with baby steps.
Try something new each day, even if it is just a tiny thing.
It could be as simple as trying new food, exploring a new part of town, or asking your crush for her number.
But each time you step outside of your comfort zone, you will be expanding it and opening yourself up to new possibilities.
Need approval from others
A beta male needs a strong sense of approval from others, especially those in positions of power.
They may go out of their way to please others or kiss up to those they think can help them succeed.
While it is essential to build positive relationships, don’t lose yourself in the process.
Remember that you are your own person and don’t need anyone’s approval to be happy and prosperous.
Their kindness, gentleness, or sensitivity
Unfortunately, betas are often seen as weaker because of their kindness, gentleness, or sensitivity.
While these qualities can be seen as weaknesses, they are actually some of the strongest traits a person can have.
You are dead wrong if you feel you have to change your beta ways in order to find success in the workplace or in a romantic relationship.
In fact, these qualities are some of the things that make you unique and special.
And they are also the qualities that will help you build solid and lasting relationships with others.
You just have to learn how to set boundaries and not come across as a pushover and someone who can be easily taken advantage of.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a partner who doesn’t appreciate your beta qualities.
It may be time to move on.
And if you are struggling to find success in your career, don’t be afraid to take the lead and show the world what you are made of.
Why beta male behavior could ruin you if you’re not careful
Many beta males lack confidence, which can hold them back in life.
They may also have difficulty setting boundaries, which can lead to them being taken advantage of by others.
And their need for approval from others can make them do things they don’t really want to do or that are not in their best interest.
This contributes to a beta male losing control of their own life.
In the workplace
It can hold you back professionally if you have difficulty taking charge, not speaking up for yourself, or being assertive.
Your career may suffer as a result.
You may find yourself in a job you don’t like or that doesn’t pay well because you are afraid to ask for what you are worth.
If you are constantly seeking approval from your boss or colleagues.
You may find yourself in a position where you are taken advantage of or used.
The worst part is that too many betas accept this lot in life and don’t consciously try to grow their skillset, learn more about their industry or take charge of their careers.
As a result, they stay in the same job for years, even decades, without ever reaching their full potential.
There are things you can do, but you must make a plan and then put that plan in motion.
Not doing so only furthers their decline.
Personal relationships may also suffer if you don’t know how to set boundaries or assert yourself.
You may find yourself in an unhealthy or unhappy relationship because you are afraid to speak up for yourself or ask for what you need.
As a result, you hold on to these relationships for years, even decades, even though you know they are not helping you in your quest to become a high-value man.
Beta males tend to become followers rather than leaders in highly complex societies.
This is because they are more likely to conform to social norms and expectations.
And while there is nothing wrong with being a follower of a person better suited for the role.
Betas will allow themselves to follow someone unworthy when they are the best option.
Beta males can be great leaders.
They too often don’t position themselves to be taken seriously because they lack confidence or don’t want to stand out from the crowd.
This can limit their ability to make a positive impact in the world.
And it can also cause them to miss out on opportunities to improve their lives and those around them.
Common Misconceptions about the Beta Male
With the rise of the red pill narrative, it would seem that only alphas are good enough to have the finer things in life.
Only alphas can get beautiful women, have successful careers, and be respected by others.
But this is so far from the truth.
Betas can have those things too, but they must work harder.
Here I’ll break down the common misconceptions about beta males.
Myth 1: Beta Males are doormats
One of the most common misconceptions about beta males is that they are pushovers or doormats.
Beta males can be confident and assertive and know how to stand up for themselves.
There is a spectrum, and all betas are not created equal.
Myth 2: Beta Males are beta because they lack confidence
Confidence is not the sole determinant of whether someone is an alpha or beta.
Some beta males may lack confidence, but others are quite confident.
It’s more about their social skills and how they interact with others than anything else.
That model you think is a 10 and has it all together has major insecurities. It’s just hidden better.
Myth 3: Beta Males are beta because they don’t take charge
This is another common misconception about beta males.
It’s true that some beta males may not take charge, but others do.
It all depends on the situation and the individual.
Some beta males are quiet and reflective.
While others are extroverted and outgoing.
It all comes down to personality and preference.
A beta that knows he is worthy of a top position will let it be known or be promoted by his peers because of his capability.
Myth 4: Beta Males don’t get the girl
This is probably the most common misconception about betas.
It’s true that some beta males may not be as successful with women as others, but this is not always the case.
There are plenty of beta males out there who are in happy and healthy relationships with amazing women.
It all comes down to compatibility, attraction, and connection.
A beta male can be just as successful with women as anyone else.
Like with anything, the more tries, the more chances of success.
Myth 5: Beta Males are just nice guys
It’s true that some beta males may be nice guys, but others are not.
Plenty of betas are not nice guys and will never be.
Unfortunately, a beta male can be very aggressive and unkind because of their own shortcomings.
Betas use these tactics to try and compensate for their lack of success in other areas of their lives.
That could actually make betas dangerous depending on how they take out their frustrations.
Myth 6: Beta Males are losers
There are plenty of successful beta males out there who have great careers and happy relationships.
It all comes down to the individual and their own personal journey.
Everyone has different goals and aspirations.
What one person may deem as a success, another person may not.
So it’s all relative.
A beta male can be just as successful as anyone else.
It’s more about perseverance and understanding what you want from life and your relationships.
Myth 7: Beta Males are wimps
There are plenty of beta males out there who can handle themselves physically and intellectually.
Just because a guy doesn’t exude machoism doesn’t mean he can’t hold his own.
Some betas may be shy or introverted, but that doesn’t make them wimps.
There are plenty of successful betas out there who are confident and have no problem speaking their mind.
Do you think everyone who takes boxing lessons is an alpha?
A beta male has a massive advantage by being underestimated.
It will allow them to dominate under the radar professionally or get the upper hand physically because others will not see it coming.
Myth 8: Beta Males are boring
Some beta males may be introverts and not the life of the party, but that doesn’t make them boring.
Plenty of betas out there live fascinating lifestyles.
In today’s society, so-called betas have a bad rep.
But they are the ones that will be more inclined to include you in their activities because they are not trying to one-up you.
They thrive off companionship and want nothing more than to show others a good time because betas enjoy serving others.
Your excitement and experience give them joy.
Myth 9: Beta Males don’t have options
Just because a beta male may not be an alpha doesn’t mean he doesn’t have options.
There are plenty of beta males out there who are in a happy and healthy romantic relationship with an amazing woman.
The friend zone is not the only place betas thrive.
Because of betas serving nature, many are surrounded by a strong community, a good group of friends, and extended family.
Betas have a lot to offer and are usually very loyal.
This leads to a lot of women being drawn to them, giving them options.
They just don’t need to flaunt it as an alpha would.
The key is to put yourself out there just a little, so people know what you’re about.
Myth 10: Beta Males are not worth dating
Automatically writing of a guy because he displays beta male behavior is likely costing many women an amazing guy.
Betas are not just out here looking for sex and meaningless flings.
Many beta males want an amazing woman to share their life with just as much as any other guy.
These men will love you unconditionally and be there for you no matter what.
They will never leave you feeling unimportant or unloved.
Betas simply want respect and appreciation and not to be compared to some false idea of an alpha.
Don’t write off the betas if you are looking for a loyal, supportive, and all-around great guy.
They may just be exactly what you’re looking for.
Should beta males try to become alpha males?
You’ll hear a lot of talk about how a beta should work on becoming more alpha.
By doing this, they will be more successful, have better relationships, and overall be happier.
This may work for some beta males, but it’s not necessary.
You can be happy and prosperous as a beta male without changing who you are.
A beta male and an alpha male are cut from the same cloth.
It’s only that they maneuver through life differently.
One is not better than the other. They are just different.
Trying to become something you’re not is exhausting, and a beta should never have to try to be an alpha.
Becoming a better man and working on self-improvement is a never-ending journey that all men should be on, beta or alpha.
But this journey is about becoming the best version of yourself and not changing who you are to try to fit some ideal.
Why is the alpha male glorified over the beta male?
The alpha male is glorified in today’s society because he is the one who is usually successful.
He is the one who has his life together and seems to have it all.
The beta male is not glorified because he doesn’t fit this ideal.
Unfortunately, this is usually tied to money and status.
Things that an alpha male would flaunt on Instagram or Facebook.
The beta male is not one to do this.
Even though the beta male is making a quarter million but driving a Toyota, and living a minimalist lifestyle.
He’s not going to get the same type of “glory” as the alpha, who is making the same but driving an expensive car and living lavishly.
But this doesn’t make him any less successful or happy.
The beta male should be appreciated and respected just as much as the alpha male.
They are both essential parts of society and bring different things to the table.
What beta males can do to improve their lives
The first step is acknowledging that you are a beta male and that there are things you can do to improve your life.
This may not be easy for some betas because they have been told their whole lives that being a beta male is terrible.
But it’s not.
Being a beta is not a bad thing. It’s just different than being an alpha male.
And there are many amazing betas out there doing great things.
Here are some things a beta male should focus on:
The second step is to start working on self-improvement.
This is a journey that all men should be on, be it a beta male or alpha male.
You accept that you have beta male characteristics that may be holding you back in areas.
One of the most essential things a beta male can work on is confidence.
This is something that will help you in all areas of your life.
Start speaking up more and letting your voice be heard.
Find your purpose
When you believe in something, it is hard for outside forces to bring you down.
Find your purpose in life and use that as the foundation to build the rest of your life on.
This will help you stay focused and motivated when things get tough.
Improve your lifestyle
All guys should have hobbies and things of interest outside of the norm.
Pick up a new hobby, read more books, lift weights, and learn a new skill.
Do things that make you happy and improve your lifestyle.
Put yourself in more social situations where you can meet new people.
This will help you build social skills and improve your relationships.
Having a team of people who care for and support you is crucial.