When you love or have been together long enough with your girlfriend to have great experiences and memories, it can be tough to let that person go – even if you know it’s for the best.
If your relationship is no longer making you happy or if it’s become toxic, it might be time to break up with your girlfriend.
But how can you be sure?
We’ll discuss guilt-free signs that it’s time to break up with your girlfriend, how to do it and if breaking up is the right call.
What are the signs you should break up?
When our emotions, lifestyle, and finances become intertwined with another person in a relationship, it can be challenging to break away and admit that the relationship isn’t working.
It’s human nature to subconsciously do whatever we can to avoid pain.
Unfortunately, a breakup often includes pain for yourself or your partner (or both).
Here are some guilt-free signs that indicate it might be time to break up:
You’re no longer attracted to her
This is not just about the physical appearance you find a person attractive.
I’m sure you’ve wondered how some guys could break up with some of these People Magazine’s most beautiful women.
It’s because there is more to attraction than just physical appearance.
A woman’s attitude can make what was a 10 in the honeymoon phase look like a 4 in the breakup phase.
Your attraction to her goes beyond the physical.
It includes how she treats you, her lifestyle and interests and if you are compatible.
If you find that your girlfriend no longer meets your needs in any of these areas, it might be time to break up with her.
You’re constantly fighting
All couples fight, but if you are constantly arguing with your girlfriend to the point where it’s affecting your mental health or daily life, it might be a sign that you should break up.
Suppose you’re happy outside of your relationship, execpt every time you’re around your girlfriend.
In that case, your arguing is likely a red flag you must take seriously.
Fighting is draining, and as a guy, we need a level of peace to accomplish the goals we set for ourselves.
Especially in a new relationship, if you find yourself constantly at each other’s throats, that is not a good sign of a fulfilling relationship.
You never really wanted a serious relationship
Sometimes we get into a romantic relationship because it seems like the right thing to do, or you were caught up in a moment of weakness.
We’ve all had a rebound relationship where we break up with our last girlfriend and then quickly try to fill that hole by finding another girl as quickly as possible.
Entering into a relationship for the wrong reasons can often lead to unhappiness down the road and doesn’t usually result in healthy relationships.
Suppose you’re not ready or don’t want a serious relationship. In that case, breaking up with your girlfriend is probably best before too much time passes.
She creates unhappiness when shes around
If you have a girlfriend and things always seem positive and happy when she’s not around, but negative and draining when she is, that’s a sign it might be time to move on.
A girlfriend should add to your life, not take away from it.
In a relationship, we want someone who supports us and helps us grow into the best version of ourselves.
If your current girlfriend is doing the opposite, then breaking up with her might be your best decision.
You have different wants in life
If you find that your girlfriend’s goals and aspirations are very different from your own, it can create tension in the relationship.
It’s essential to be with someone who shares similar values as you.
If you’re working toward becoming a partner at your law firm, that requires long hours and lots of travel.
If your girlfriend wants a guy who will be home every day at 5pm to cook dinner, you’re likely not on the same page.
Different wants in life are not always a deal breaker, but if you find that you are constantly butting heads about it, breaking up might be the best solution.
She’s not an asset to your life’s purpose
As guys, we need a purpose in life, and we want a girlfriend who will be an asset to that purpose.
We want someone who we can build with and who will help us achieve our goals.
If your girlfriend is not an asset to your life’s purpose, she is a liability.
I have witnessed multiple guys stop pursuing their passions and purpose because of the constant friction it was causing with their girlfriends.
If you find that your girlfriend is not an asset to your life’s purpose, then it’s likely you need to sever ties and find someone else.
You want to break up with your girlfriend more than make it work
To a certain extent, you should fight for your relationship because we understand things will get rocky sometimes.
However, if you find that you’re always thinking about breaking up with her or ways to end things, it might be time to actually break up.
Suppose you’re more focused on how to break up with your girlfriend than putting effort into making the relationship work. In that case, it’s likely not going to work out in the long term.
You rather be alone or hang with others more than her
When it comes to deal breakers in a relationship, this is a big one.
If you find that you rather be alone or hang with your buddies more than spend time with your girlfriend, then you likely don’t want her in your life anymore.
In a relationship, we want someone we enjoy being around and have fun with.
If your girlfriend is not that person, then why stay with her?
One of the benefits of having a girlfriend is that you have someone to do things with and enjoy life with.
You feel unfulfilled in areas that matter most
You must be self-aware to know what you need in a relationship.
There are things, in theory, that we want in a relationship, but they might not actually be things we need.
I think being with someone who is supportive and helps us grow into the best version of ourselves is something we all want.
It might not necessarily be most vital for you.
There are things that may seem small to your girlfriend, but maybe the thing that makes you feel loved and fulfilled.
If she is unwilling to keep doing those things or never did them in the first place, that’s not a good sign for a healthy long-term relationship.
You don’t love her and never did
This is a touchy one because breakups are hard enough, but if you find that you never loved her in the first place.
Matters of the heart can be messy.
She might, on the surface, be a great girl, but she just doesn’t do it for you.
If you fake it until you make it in a relationship, your true feelings will eventually come out.
It’s better to break up with her now and find someone that you actually see a future with.
She brings out the worst in you
We all have triggers that can set us off and make us act out of character.
If your girlfriend constantly pushes those buttons and brings out the worst in you, that’s a clear sign that she’s not good for you.
A girlfriend should make us want to be better versions of ourselves, not bring out the worst.
We all have baggage and things we need to work on, but if your relationship constantly brings out the worst in you, it’s time to get out of this situation.
You’re only with her because it’s easier to stay
You hear this term amongst married men all the time, “It’s cheaper to keep her.”
This refers to the fact that it’s easier to stay in a relationship than to break up, move out and start over.
However, just because something is easier does not make it right.
If you find yourself only staying with your girlfriend because it’s easier than breaking up and moving on.
You’re not doing yourself any favors.
You’re likely going to end up resenting her and the relationship, which is not a healthy place to be.
It’s better to break up and start fresh than stay in a situation you’re not happy with.
You don’t want to be alone
The dating scene is brutal out here for guys.
It’s easy to get into a relationship and stay there because you don’t want to be alone.
However, being in a relationship with someone you’re not happy with is worse than being single.
At least being single, you have more control over your own happiness.
If you find yourself staying in a relationship because you’re afraid of being alone, that’s not a good enough reason.
It’s better to break up and be single for a while than stay in a relationship that is making you unhappy.
There’s verbal and physical abuse
Many guys suffer in silence.
There are a lot of guys putting up with physical and verbal abuse from their girlfriends and just take it.
However, no one deserves to be treated like that, no matter how much you love her.
If your girlfriend constantly puts you down, hits you, or abuses you, then it’s time to break up with her.
There are countless stories where guys call the police or tell close friends about how their girl is abusing them, and it gets brushed off and laughed at.
However, it’s not a laughing matter if you’re in this situation.
There’s no shame in admitting that you’re being abused and calling it quits.
She puts you down and doesn’t respect you
As guys, it’s in us to desire respect in all areas of our lives.
If your girlfriend constantly puts you down and doesn’t treat you with respect, it’s time to break up with her.
A girlfriend should make us feel good about ourselves, show appreciation for what we bring to the table and be a supportive partner.
If she’s constantly putting you down and making you feel like less of a man, then you are better off finding someone who respects you.
You don’t want to include her in your life
You both should have your own lives but they should cross at some point.
If you do not want to include her in your life, that’s a clear sign that she’s not good for you.
A girlfriend should be someone we want to share our lives with and include in the things we do.
Suppose you realize you continue to dodge invitations or make excuses not to include her in your life. In that case, that’s a sign it’s time to possibly end the relationship.
You don’t make time for each other
Couples that break up often say they “grew apart.”
What they mean is that they stopped enjoying doing things together, and their interests slowly diverged.
If you and your girlfriend don’t make time for each other, it’s a sign that you’re growing apart.
It’s important to have shared interests, but it’s also essential to make time for each other.
If there’s no time for couple activities or just hanging out together, that is often an excuse to keep the divide.
You should enjoy spending time with your girlfriend as often as possible.
She’s never wrong because it’s always your fault
I use the word narcissist lightly because it is often overused and abused, but it might be the perfect term in this case.
Suppose your girlfriend is never wrong and always manages to make everything your fault. In that case, she’s likely a narcissist or possesses unhealthy narcissist traits.
If you find that she continues to try to justify her actions and will argue for hours when you have clearly proven your point about her actions.
Then it’s a sign she can’t take responsibility for anything.
A healthy relationship requires two people who can take responsibility for their actions and admit when they’re wrong.
If your girlfriend never admits she’s wrong and always tries to make things about you, then that’s not a healthy relationship.
She tries to control all aspects of your life
Guys need hobbies, time to spend with the boys, and time away from the monotony.
However, some girlfriends will try to control all aspects of their boyfriend’s life in order to keep them under their thumb.
If you find that your girlfriend is always telling you what to do, who you can and can’t spend time with, and is otherwise trying to control your life.
It’s likely time to end the relationship.
The term ‘modern woman’ is
being thrown around a lot in dating and relationship discussions.
However, a truly confident and secure woman doesn’t need to try to control her man’s life.
She cares about other guy’s feelings over yours
Women like attention, whether they admit it or not.
I have spoken to women on more than one occasion where they went out and felt down because they weren’t getting the male attention they were expecting.
This happens even if they have a current relationship.
So, let’s say you have an issue with Johnny boy because, as a guy, you know when another guy is pushing up on your girl.
You let her know you are not feeling this guy, and she responds by telling you that you’re being ridiculous and that you need to stop being so jealous.
She then continues talking about this other guy and saying, “he is just a friend” or “you should trust me.”
A girlfriend who cares more about another guy’s feelings than yours is clearly not the relationship you should be holding on to.
There’s a reason girls get into their next relationship much faster than guys.
The people closest to you disapprove
Suppose your social circles, friends, and family keep bringing things to your attention about your relationship and how it’s not good for you. In that case, it might be time to listen.
These people are closest to you for a reason; they can see things you’re blinded to because you’re in the relationship.
Of course, you don’t need to break up with your girlfriend just because your friends and family disapprove, but it’s something to think about.
There are some moms that will never think any girl is good enough for you.
This is not the person you want to take advice from.
You’re always walking on eggshells
If you’re constantly worried about what you say or do around your girlfriend because you never know when she might lash out or start an argument.
Then that’s not a stable relationship.
You should be able to be yourself around your partner and not have to worry about them getting mad over everything you do or say.
A relationship should make you feel good, not stressed out all the time.
The one person you should be able to feel comfortable around being your authentic self is your partner.
You’ve tried to make things work time and time again
If you put in the work to seek out help from a relationship expert or relationship coach and things still don’t improve, then it might be time to face the facts.
You can only try to make things work so many times before you need to accept that it’s not meant to be.
It’s not just enough to show up.
You have to put in the effort to work on your relationship problems outside of the office as well.
If you’re at the point where you’ve given up on your relationship and are just waiting for it to end.
Then it’s probably already over.
How long should I wait to break up with my girlfriend?
You should break up with your girl as soon as you realize that she is not the person you’d want to go through life with.
The sooner you break up with someone, the sooner you can both move on with your lives.
There’s no need to drag things out and make them more painful than it needs to be.
If you’re thinking about breaking up with your girlfriend but don’t know how then check out this breakup guide.
It will give you all the information you need to break up with her as smoothly as possible.
How to break up with your girlfriend as a man should
Technology has made it easy for guys to cop out and end relationships in sleazy and immature ways.
However, just because you can end things via text or social media doesn’t mean you should.
You’re a man, and you need to act like one.
This means respecting and considering your girlfriend’s feelings when ending the relationship.
Even if things go bad with the relationship, you decide to step into it, so step out of it the right way.
Here are some tips for breaking up with your girlfriend like a man:
Don’t do it over text or social media.
This is just cowardly and immature.
If you can’t even have the decency to have an honest conversation about ending a relationship.
How could she ever respect you again?
It is possible that you will find each other later in life.
Talk to her in person and tell her why
Be honest with her about why you’re breaking up.
Don’t try to sugarcoat things or makeup excuses.
Just tell her straight out why you’re not happy and why you think it’s best to end things.
Pick a neutral location
Don’t end things with her at her place or your place.
This will just make things more complicated and painful.
Instead, pick a neutral location like a coffee shop or park with people around.
Make sure it’s somewhere you won’t run into anyone you know so you can have some privacy during this tough conversation.
It will help give things a clean break because being in public will limit outbursts, and you’ll be able to leave as soon as things are over.
Be respectful and considerate of her feelings.
There may be hurtful things you could say, but it’s not necessary.
You are already about to move on, so there is no reason to try to make her feel bad.
Focus on being respectful and considerate of her feelings throughout the process, and she will appreciate it.
Hold your masculine frame
Your masculine frame is critical in a relationship, especially when breaking up with your girlfriend.
You must remain calm and in control of your emotions during this difficult time.
Do not allow yourself to get defensive or angry if she starts to cry or gets emotional.
Remember that you’re the one ending things and need to stay strong.
This doesn’t mean not being compassionate towards her.
You can still comfort her and be there for her, but you need to do it in a way that doesn’t make you weak.
Focus on the future
Breaking up is always going to be difficult, but it’s essential to focus on the future.
This means not wallowing in your sorrows and instead focusing on the positive things that will come from this decision.
You’ll find someone better suited for you, and you’ll be able to move on with your life.
Remember that breaking up is not the end of the world. It’s the start of a new one.
Is breaking up ever good for a relationship?
Breaking up is never good for the relationship. On the contrary, it only serves to further damage what is already a fragile bond.
If you’re thinking about breaking up with your girlfriend.
It’s essential to first consider whether or not the relationship is worth saving.
If there is still love and respect between you two, it might be worth trying to work things out.
Relationships are meant for two people to be there for each other at all times.
If breaking up is the solution then that is not a relationship you should likely hold on to.
Is it better to take a break or break up?
When deciding if taking a break or breaking up is a better option, you must look at several things:
How long have you been together?
The longer you’ve been together, the harder it will be to come back from a break.
A break might be a good option if you only need some time apart to clear your head.
But the break needs to be clearly defined.
How long are we taking a break?
Is there a set date to come back together?
If your relationship is already on the rocks, a break might prolong the inevitable.
In this case, it might be better to just break up.
Is there still love and respect?
If the answer is no, breaking up is probably the best option.
The relationship has run its course when there is no longer love or respect.
It’s time to move on and find someone you can love and respect.
Or who can love and respect you back.
Do you see a future together?
If you don’t see a future with your girlfriend, then breaking up is the best thing to do.
There is no point in staying in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.
It’s better to end things now so you can move on and find happiness elsewhere.
What is the reason for the break?
If the reason for the break is something that can be resolved, then taking a break might be a good option.
If you are using it as an excuse to see other women or date around, it will only worsen when you try to get back together.
If the break is just a way for you to escape a situation you really don’t want any part of, breaking up is probably the best solution.
Ultimately, the decision to end the relationship should be based on what is best for you if you are bringing it to the table.
The break is a decision you both must agree on for it to work and be something you can come back from.
It’s not always easy to make this decision. Still, it’s essential to do what is suitable for you or your relationship.