How To Ask A Girl For Her Number: Online and Real Life Tips

If you are not used to sparking random conversations with a girl, you'd likely do better finding smooth ways to get her number.
guy smiling while talking to a girl

Asking a girl for her number can be one of the most exciting, fulfilling, and terrifying things you can do.

You immediately have all these thoughts that start running through your head:

“What if she says no?”

“What if I make a fool of myself?”

“What if this ruins our friendship?”

All of these are valid concerns, but they shouldn’t stop you from taking the leap.

After all, the worst thing that can happen is she says no, and you move on.

I know that still doesn’t make it easier to make the ask.

Most guys are fearful of rejection.

Something about attractive women that makes us want to be chosen and validated by her giving you her number.

It’s an ego thing, but it doesn’t have to be this way.

I’m here to give you tips on asking a girl for her number in a way that will make her WANT to give it to you.

Guy asking for a girls number while sitting at restuarant

How do you ask a girl for her number smoothly?

Although using flirty pick-up lines can work, it doesn’t need to be the default go-to when you want to get a girl’s number.

If you are not used to sparking random conversations with a girl, you’d likely do better finding smooth ways to get her number.

Stat your intentions early

Don’t beat around the bush if you see or know a girl you are genuinely interested in.

You don’t want to walk up, saying things like, “I was just curious about the book you are reading.”

She likely knows the real reason you can over, so set the frame.

“I thought you were really cute, and I wanted to introduce myself.”

This type of opener quickly lets her know that this is a man-woman conversation, not just a friendly one.

Don’t try to be someone you’re not

Women can see through BS pretty quickly. If you are faking confidence or being someone you’re not, she’s going to know.

This is the fastest way to get rejected or ghosted.

The best way to ask for a girl’s number is to be genuine, confident, and direct.

Choose the right time and place

Suppose you want a girl to feel comfortable about giving you her number. In that case, you must create a relaxed and non-threatening environment.

Also, keep your distance in mind. This can make a huge difference in the outcome.

There are a lot of creeps, so a girl may immediately feel threatened if you just randomly sit next to her in the park.

Start the interaction standing and at a comfortable distance. Then ask if it’s ok to sit next to her.

Be respectful of her personal space; she will likely be more open to engaging with you.

Have somewhere to be

This is a good one when your nerves are a wreck, or you have no idea what to say, but you want to get a girl’s number.

It works because it allows you to start a conversation and let her know early on that you are short on time.

“I have to get to this thing, but I really wanted to say hi first.”

If she’s interested and receptive to your approach, start chatting, but now you have a reason to keep it short and ask for her number.

Just hand them your phone

Let’s say the conversation is going well, and you found some common ground.

You can clearly see that there is an attraction between you two.

Casually pull out your phone and hand it to her while you mention taking her to that museum or coffee shop you were just talking about.

She will likely do it without hesitation because she wants to see you again. You know she is interested in the thing you mentioned because you were just talking about it.

It’s a low-pressure way to get her number without asking directly.

Use humor (If you are actually funny)

If you try to use humor but are not funny, it will actually come off weird and desperate.

But, if you can make her laugh, this is a solid way to get a girl’s number.

“I need your number so I can call you and apologize for my terrible jokes.”

She will most likely give it to you because she knows you’re joking, but it also shows that you are confident enough in yourself to joke around.

Bonus points if she actually laughs.

Ask her for help

This one can work in a few different ways.

For example, you can ask her for the time or to help you find something in the store.

But my favorite way is to ask for directions somewhere.

I recommend you use this only when it’s a genuine ask.

If you are in the store and can’t find something, it would be better to ask the hot girl shopping than find a middle-aged man who works there to help you, right?!

Then if it makes sense because the conversation is going well, ask for the number.

Guy asking for a girls number at a lounge

What should I say to get a girl’s number?

The best way thing to say to get a girls number is to simply ask for it. If she is showing interest and signals that she wants to talk to you, then ask for her number without feeling like you need some pick-up line. 

The key is to be confident and not seem needy.

Girls like confident guys.

Simply say, “Can I text you or give you a call sometime.”

This should be your go-to ask for a girl’s number.

However, if you want a few more slightly advanced techniques for getting a girl to say yes when you ask for her number, keep these in mind:

Give a compliment before they ask

Most girls love to be complimented, so find something you like about her and let her know.

You don’t need to just focus on her physical appearance but also on her personality traits, interests, or anything else you find attractive about her.

“I love your sense of humor. Can I get your number?”

“You’re so smart and articulate. Can I text you later?”

“I can tell you’re a lot of fun to be around. Can I get your number, and maybe we can hang out soon?”

Make sure the compliments you give are genuine and honest. Girls can usually tell when someone is just trying to butter them up.

Just give a simple, genuine compliment, and she’ll be more likely to say yes when you ask for her number.

Guy asking for a girls number in the park

Create a connection based on a similar experience before the ask

Another way to increase your chances of getting a girl’s number is to create a connection with her.

Conversation starters that can help create a connection include:

  • Asking about her day
  • Talking about mutual friends or interests
  • Getting her to talk about her interests

“Did you have a good time at the game last night? Can I get your number? Maybe we can go to the next one together?”

“I love hiking too! Where’s your favorite place to go? Can I get your number, and one day I can show you my favorite spots?”

“I think it would be really fun to get to know you better. Can I have your number so we can text?”

The key is ensuring the conversation flows, and you’re both having a good time.

Once you’re past the small talk, try to find common interests or things you have in common.

This will help create a connection between the two of you and make her more likely to want to exchange numbers.

Be flirty with the ask

Flirting is another great way to get a girl’s attention and make her want to give you her number if you do it well.

There are a few different ways to flirt:

  • Use body language, like making eye contact, smiling, and leaning in when you talk to her.
  • Find things to tease her about in a good-natured way.
  • Make lighthearted sexual innuendos. (After attraction is clearly reciprocated)

“You should give me your number so I can take you out and show you a good time.”

“I’m not sure if I should give you my number… you might just be too adorable?”

“I have a feeling you’re going to be my new lucky number.”

Don’t overdo it with the flirting, or she might think you’re just trying to get in her pants.

The key is to be subtle and keep it fun.

A little bit of flirting can go a long way in getting a girl’s attention and making her want to give you her number.

Guy sitting with a woman asking for her number

How do I ask a girl for her mobile number on Instagram?

We’ll talk Instagram, but all the same, rules apply when it comes to any online conversation.

Whether it’s online dating or other social media sites, the same principles of asking for a girl’s number still apply.

The most important thing is to make sure you have a connection with the girl before you ask for her number.

Here is each step of the process:

Step 1. Have your profile together

This should seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how many guys have a sloppy profile.

Of course, if you reach out, they will check your profile before responding.

Your profile photo should be a high-quality, recent photo of you smiling. No sunglasses, no group photos, and no blurry selfies.

Your bio should be short, sweet, and to the point. Include your hobbies, interests, and any other attractive qualities about yourself.

Make sure you show your social side by including photos with your friends.

Have nice pictures of you at a nice restaurant, at the beach, or doing something active.

This will show that you’re fun to be around and make her more likely to want to exchange numbers.

Step 2. Understand it’s a numbers game

Social media and dating apps have made access to women more effortless than ever.

The problem is that there are so many men competing for attention.

This is why it’s important to understand that it’s a numbers game.

You need to reach out to as many women as possible and in the right way.

Don’t take it personally if a girl doesn’t respond. Just move on and reach out to more women.

The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it, and the more likely you will get a girl’s attention.

Also, be sure you continue to level up your skillspursue your purpose, and work on becoming a better man. Women should be an addition to your life and not the center.

And by continuing to level up, you will improve your online profiles and images, making your chances of getting her number and meeting in real life much higher.

Step 3. Send a creative first message

This is where most men fail. They send boring, generic messages online that don’t stand out.

Your goal is to send a message that will make her want to respond.

The best way to do this is to be creative and personalize your message.

Mention something you have in common or something you noticed on her profile.

Ask her a question that requires more than a one-word answer.

Make sure your message is fun, flirty, and shows that you’re interested in her.

If she’s receptive to your message, move on to the next step.

Step 4. Keep the conversation going

Once she responds to your message, it’s time to keep the conversation going.

The goal is to get to know her and build a connection. Chatting online is not always the easiest thing on a dating site or social app, but it is the way of the world now.

Ask her questions about herself, make her laugh, and be genuine.

The benefit is you don’t have to be quick on your feet and have something to say all the time as you would in person.

You can take your time to think of a response but make sure you don’t wait too long, or she’ll lose interest.

Step 5. Look for choosing signals

If it seems like you both are on the same page, and she’s enjoying the conversation, it may be a good sign that she’d be open to giving your her number.

If she responds positively to your flirty messages, sends you long messages, reaches out to you first, or asks you personal questions, she’s definitely interested.

Most women are not going to ask you or make the first move when it comes to exchanging numbers. Instead, they want you to do it.

Step 6. Make the ask

Now that you see some signals that she feels the same way, it’s time to make the ask.

The bad news is that even though you followed the steps and timed them perfectly. Some women are just in it for all the male attention they can get and will never meet up with you in real life.

The good news is that if you make the ask confident and non-needy, most women will be open to giving you their number.

A great way to do this is by being direct and to the point when asking for her digits.

If she doesn’t respond or seems like she is stringing you along, just cut your losses and move on.

Guy asking for a girls number at a party

Mistakes You Can Make When Asking a Woman’s Number

Guys make many mistakes when trying to figure out how to ask a girl for her number.

Below I’ll give some good examples of what not to do when approaching and asking a girl for her number.

Focusing on one girl

This is a big one. When we get set on that cute girl at the job or in class, we tend to focus on her.

We figure out how to get close.

We ignore all the signs that she’s just not into you.

We ignore the fact that we’ve been friend-zoned.

We obsess over what she’s doing, who she’s talking to, and how we can get her to like us.

All of this is a waste of time. Other women out there would love to get to know you.

Being Awkward

Be a confident man and approach like you’ve done this before.

The problem is that guys try too hard to be funny or make small talk when approaching a girl.

They think they need to entertain her and ensure she’s comfortable with them before asking for the number.

This often comes off as being awkward, nervous, and trying too hard.

Don’t overthink it, and just do. You’ll get better with practice.

Being desperate for a woman’s phone number

Being desperate is the opposite of showing confidence.

It’s unattractive and pushy. This is a turnoff for most women.

You need to approach it like it doesn’t matter if you exchange phone numbers or not, but it would be nice to get to know her better.

This is a pivotal mindset when approaching and asking for her number.

Talking too much

The goal here should be to find out what gets her talking.

You want to find things that she’s passionate about and get her talking about them.

The more you get her talking, the better. This is how you build rapport and a connection with someone.

Don’t make it all about you or try to dominate the conversation.

She’ll be more likely to give you her number if she feels you enjoy talking to her and hearing about things that matter to her.

Not paying attention to social cues

You have to pay close attention to her body language when talking to her.

If she constantly looks away, keeps walking, doesn’t smile, or seems uninterested, then she probably is.

In this case, it’s best to move on and find someone interested in talking to you.

You want to make sure that you’re both enjoying the conversation before asking for her number.

Asking too soon

The key here is to build rapport first.

You want to make sure that she feels comfortable with you before asking for her number.

If you ask too soon, she’s going to feel like you’re only interested in one thing, and that’s not what we’re going for here.

Take your time, enjoy the conversation, and let things flow naturally.

Over-complimenting her

You want her to know you are interested, but you don’t want to put her on a pedestal.

Over-complimenting her is going to make her think you’re trying too hard and that you’re not being genuine.

A simple compliment here and there is fine but don’t go overboard.

Focusing on the outcome

Yes, you want her number, but you have to focus on all the other elements first.

You want to focus on the build-up.

Is she open to talking, giving you good body language, laughing at your jokes, etc.?

These are good signs that she’s into you and that you’re on the right track.

If you focus on getting her number too much, you may miss obvious signals that she is not interested.

It’s best to end the conversation and move on if you see things are not going anywhere.

It’s a good chance you’ll get rejected anyway.

Waiting too long

It can be tempting to keep the conversation going, but you want to end things on a high note, not a low one.

It’s much better to ask while things are going well.

The longer you wait, the more likely you could put your foot in your mouth or run out of things to say. So now you are sitting there in awkward silence.

It’s best to just go for it when the time feels right.

Guy asking for a girls number

Why don’t girls ask for your number directly?

Girls don’t ask for your number directly because they are socialized to not make the first move when it comes to men. So it’s just not something that is done.

This would be perfect, right?

A beautiful girl comes up to you and says, “Hey, I like you. Give me your number so we can go out sometime.”

It sounds great in theory, but it doesn’t really work like that.

Focus on building up your game and learning how to ask a girl for her number.

This is far better than hoping a girl will make the first move. You are missing out on a ton of opportunities if you are hoping for this.

Guys, don’t be afraid to get professional help like a dating coach or therapist if you are really struggling in this area.

Meeting women online or in real life is tricky, but it’s doable if you know what you’re doing.

Remember to focus on the girl, not just getting her number.

Make sure she’s comfortable with you, that you’re genuinely interested in hearing about her, and go for it when the time feels right. And don’t forget to have fun!


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