How do I get rid of nervousness before a first date?

It is normal to be nervous when you go on a date, especially the first date. She already liked you enough to accept the date. That alone should reduce your stress levels.
Guy having first date jitters

So far, you did all the right things that have led to you locking in your first date.

Now you have some serious first-date jitters that you can’t shack off.

All these thoughts are running through your mind:

What if I say something stupid? What if there’s awkward silence? What if I’m not what she is expecting? Will I be put in the friend zone?

These feelings are completely normal, but they don’t need to ruin your date.

There are a few things you can do to help ease your nerves.

First, remember that she already likes you enough to spend time with you, so that’s a good start.

Second, try to focus on the present moment and enjoy getting to know each other.

And lastly, don’t be afraid to be yourself – she’ll appreciate it more than anything else.

If you keep these things in mind, you will likely enjoy yourself on the date.

Now that you have the foundation let’s dive into some things you can do to make sure your date goes as smoothly as possible.

Woman enjoying herself on first date with nervous guy

Is it normal to be nervous about going on a date?

It is normal to be nervous when you go on a date, especially the first date.

First dates are always a little awkward because you don’t know each other well yet.

She already liked you enough to accept the date. That alone should reduce your stress levels.

She is likely just as nervous or more about the date than you.

Find comfort in knowing you both are likely going into this a little bit on edge.

We’ll go over some tips on how to not be nervous on a date while also enjoying yourself.

What causes first-date nerves?

First-date nerves are caused by a mix of things.

Part of it is the unknown – you don’t know what to expect, so your mind starts running wild with all kinds of scenarios.

Another part is self-doubt – you might be second-guessing yourself and wondering if she’ll think you are good enough.

And lastly, there is the fear of rejection – you don’t want to put yourself out there only to be disappointed.

All these things can contribute to first-date nerves, but there are ways to manage them.

How to calm first date jitters

First date jitters can be calmed by putting the focus on you and not on her.

Here are some tips on how to do that:

Guy taking date out on a boat

Do a fun activity you enjoy

As a guy, you likely will decide on the activity for the date.

Choose something you enjoy doing that will make you feel good.

This could be anything from playing mini golf to going for a hike or eating at your favorite restaurant.

Whatever it is, make sure it is something that will put you in a positive headspace.

Worst case scenario is that you at least enjoyed yourself even though the date didn’t go as planned.

Take a few deep breaths

A deep breath or two can help to ease first-date nerves.

When we are nervous, our breathing gets shallow and quick.

This just adds to the feeling of anxiety.

Taking a few deep breaths can help you relax and focus on the present moment.

Stay in the moment

The best way to not be nervous on a date is to stay in the moment.

This means not worrying about what happened in the past or whether or not you’ll get a second date.

Just focus on enjoying the present moment and getting to know each other.

Ask questions and genuinely listen to her answers.

Nervous Guy getting close with his date

Take the pressure off

When you are nervous, you tend to talk too much or try too hard to impress her.

This can actually have the opposite effect of what you want.

Instead, try to take the pressure off by asking good questions that keep her talking.

And don’t worry about saying the perfect thing – just be yourself and let the conversation flow.

The best way to do this is by finding out:

  • What she is passionate about
  • What are her hobbies
  • What she does for fun
  • Where she grew up

These are just a few examples, but you get where I’m going.

Just try to keep the conversation light and avoid controversial topics like religion or politics.

When she lights up talking about a particular topic, this is where you lean in and ask genuine questions.

You want her to feel like she can be herself around you and that you are interested in hearing about her life.

Woman smiling while her nervous date talks

Focus on self-awareness

Sometimes it can be nerve-wracking trying to figure out what to say, which can lead to you saying something that may be a little too much when talking to someone new.

TMI (too much information) is when you share too much about yourself on a first date or with someone you don’t know well.

It can be things like talking about your ex, your past relationships, how many people you’ve slept with, etc.

We have all done it at some point, but it’s important to be aware of it.

A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself if you would want to know this about someone on a first date.

If the answer is no, then you probably shouldn’t share it.

It’s okay to be open and vulnerable, but just be aware of how much information you are sharing.

Guy with first date jitters bringing date flowers

Use positive affirmations

A good date starts with a good mindset.

One way to ease first date nerves is by using positive affirmations.

This means repeating positive statements to yourself leading up to the date and even during the date if you start to feel nervous.

It will help boost your self-esteem and keep you focused on the present moment.

Some examples of positive affirmations are:

“I am worthy of love and happiness.”

“I am a great catch; anyone would be lucky to date me.”

“I am confident and charming.”

“I am relaxed and enjoying myself.”

It’s all about making sure you feel comfortable and understand that it’s just a date and you will have more.

Get a workout in before the date

Breaking a sweat while listening to your favorite music dramatically reduces stress and anxiety and increases endorphins.

Endorphins are the feel-good chemicals in your brain that can help improve your mood.

So, if you’re feeling nervous about a date, try getting in a quick workout beforehand.

You don’t have to go all out – even a short walk can do the trick.

The most important thing is that you do something that makes you feel good and clears your head.

Plan ahead

One way to combat first-date jitters is by planning ahead.

This means having an idea of what you are going to talk about beforehand.

You can even write down a few questions that you can ask her.

This will help keep the conversation flowing and take some pressure off you.

It’s also a good idea to have an exit strategy in case the date is going badly.

That way, you don’t feel like you’re stuck there for hours with someone you’re not compatible with.

You may have thought it was love at first sight, but it is always possible that one of those worst-case scenarios could play out, and you need to be prepared.

Just remember, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

Relax and take your time

One of the most important things to remember on a first date is to relax and take your time.

This means not rushing into anything and taking the time to get to know each other.

You want to be sure that there is a connection before you start getting too serious.

First dates can be stressful, but try to enjoy the process and have fun with it.

Guy confident on first date

Have confidence in yourself

Having confidence and self-love will make your date go smoother but also stand out positively to her.

Women like confidence because it is a major turn-on for them.

She will see you as more attractive and be drawn to your positive energy.

Smile, make eye contact, and keep your head up high.

Also, avoid fidgeting or coming across as nervous in any way.

Body language should not be forgotten about on a date because it can say just as much, if not more, than words.

Get professional help

This can be a massive step for a lot of guys.

Sometimes in order to be our best self, we need to seek professional help to deal with any underlying issues.

This should not be seen as a weakness but as a strength.

It shows that you want to be the best version of yourself and are taking active steps to improve your life.

If you feel like you need help in this area, don’t hesitate to reach out to a licensed clinical psychologist or dating coach.

Getting help will help you go from single and lonely to confident and happy.

First Date FAQ

How long should a first date last?

Dates, on average last anywhere from two to four hours.

This gives you enough time to get to know each other and see if there is a connection.

If you’re feeling a strong connection, you can always extend the date or make plans for a second one.

Guy getting dressed for a date

What should I wear on a first date?

You want to dress in something that makes you feel comfortable, confident, and appropriate for the occasion.

If you’re going to a fancy restaurant, you may want to dress up more than if you were going to coffee.

It’s also important to make sure your clothes are clean and wrinkle-free.

You want to make a good impression, so take the time to iron your clothes or pick out something nice to wear.

How should you act on a first date?

The most important thing is to be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to impress your date.

Your goal should be to find someone that accepts you for who you are.

Is it OK to be quiet on a date?

It is OK to have quiet moments on a date. Quiet moments that seem natural can actually be a good thing.

On the other hand, long periods of quiet can make things awkward and come across as you are not present or uninterested.

How should you end the first date?

When the date ends, it’s always a good idea to thank your date for their time.

You can also offer to walk them to their car or take them home.

If you had a good time, it’s also appropriate to say so. For example, you can say something like, “I had a great time tonight” or “I’m really glad we got to meet.”

If you want to see your date again, let them know. You can say something like, “I’d love to see you again soon.”

If you don’t want to see your date again, being polite is still important.

Whatever you do, try to avoid being rude or insulting. Even if you didn’t have a good time, there’s no need to be mean. Just say thank you and move on.


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