When To Ask For Second Date: It’s More Crucial Than A First Date

The second date is more important than the first because now you know there's a connection and she's interested. The second date is your chance to seal the deal and potentially solidify your place in her life.
Woman riding on a mans back on second date

Sometimes getting first dates can feel like a huge uphill battle.

You pushed through your shyness and fear of rejection, asked for her number, and locked in the first date.

Now it’s time to make some decisions about the second date.

Asking at the wrong time or in the wrong way can ruin your chances of getting that second date.

The second date is more important than the first because now you know there’s a connection and she’s interested.

The second date is your chance to seal the deal and potentially solidify your place in her life.

Everyone puts on a bit of a mask on the first date, but on the second date, you begin to peel back the layers and get her to show your true self.

We’ll go into when to ask, how to ask and what to do so that you can increase your chances of getting a second date.

Man and woman smiling and having coffee on first date

How do I get her to want a second date?

To get a second date and maybe even a third date, you have to get the first date right. So don’t get ahead of yourself.

You don’t want to play games or mess with her head. You want to make a good impression and show genuine interest.

The following tips will help you get that second date.

Be on time

This is an easy way to make an excellent first impression.

If you’re late for the first date, it sets a bad precedent and makes it seem like you don’t value her time.

There is a stereotype that women are constantly late and get a pass if they are because they have a lot more to do to get ready.

Regardless, this is never an excuse for you to be late.

Plan to be early or on time so you’re not rushed and can relax before the date.

Dress to impress

Your goal is to make a good first impression; part of that is looking your best.

This doesn’t mean that you have to wear a suit or anything too formal, but you should dress in clothes that are clean and fit well.

Women care about fashion and will notice if you take the time to dress well.

If you’re not sure what to wear, err on the side of being too dressy rather than too casual.

Be well-groomed

Make sure you take care of your hygiene.

This shows that you take pride in your appearance and want to make a good impression.

Women will notice if you have bad breath, body odor, or your hair is a mess.

Take the time to shower, shave, and style your hair before the date.

If you have any concerns about your hygiene, ask a friend or family member for their honest opinion.

Man and woman on bridge with a view smiling and holding each other

Be a gentleman

This is an easy way to set yourself apart from other guys.

Be polite, open doors for her, and pull out her chair.

Simple gestures like this go a long way in making a good impression.

If you’re not sure what to do, just model your behavior on how you would treat your mom or grandmother.

Get her talking about herself

You need to use this beautiful communication hack as often as possible.

Getting people to do most of the talking about something they are interested in will cause them to have a good time and feel connected with you.

People love talking about themselves, so use this to your advantage.

Ask her questions about herself, her life, her hobbies, and her interests.

Listen carefully to her answers and ask follow-up questions.

Don’t be dull

Do everything in your power to give off good energy.

It doesn’t matter if service is bad or if there’s a line at the restroom, keep your cool and stay positive.

No one wants to be around someone negative all the time.

Be funny, make her laugh, and enjoy yourself.

If you’re not naturally outgoing, then this will take some practice.

The more dates you go on, the easier it will become.

Be genuinely curious

Here’s something you need to keep in mind.

“Being genuinely curious doesn’t mean genuinely interested.”

You don’t have to be interested in softball to be genuinely curious about how she fell in love with the game, her favorite team, or what it was like to play in college.

Being genuinely curious is about being interested in the person, not just the topic.

It’s easy to ask questions and then move on to the next topic, but that doesn’t create a connection.

Make an effort to follow up on her answers and show that you care about what she has to say.

Keep things light

Stay away from serious topics like religion, politics, and exes.

You don’t want to get into a heated argument on the first date.

Keep things light and easy, so you can relax and enjoy each other’s company.

If something naturally comes up that is a downer, do what you can to bring things back to a good place.

Man asking a woman for a second date while having coffee on first date

Have a lot of fun

If you are not an outgoing person, be sure to pick an environment where it will be easy to have fun.

It’s much easier to have fun at the city fair than at a restaurant where all the pressure is on you to make things interesting.

Your goal is to make sure that she has a good time so that she wants to see you again.

One way to do this is to find out what her interests are and then plan the date around that.

If she loves animals, then take her to the zoo.

If she’s into art, then visit a local museum.

Stay in the moment

Don’t start looking at your phone or daydreaming about the future.

This date is about getting to know each other, so be present and enjoy the moment.

You can’t truly build rapport with someone if you’re not paying attention to them.

Tell good stories

Being able to tell good stories is a major communication hack.

People love hearing stories, and if you can tell them well, they will enjoy spending time with you.

Work on your storytelling skills by reading books, watching movies, and paying attention to how other people tell stories.

Then, practice telling stories to your friends and family.

When you’re on the date, try to tell stories relevant to the conversation that will give her a glimpse into your life and social circles.

Playfully tease her

Let’s say she drops her fork on the floor.

You could say, “Oh, someone’s a little clumsy today.”

And then give her a wink.

This is a great way to build rapport and make things more fun.

But be careful not to tease her about something that is sensitive or that she might not be comfortable with.

This is a higher-level dating strategy, so if you are not naturally good in social environments, save this one for later.

Or even get a dating coach to help you practice beforehand.

Don’t lead with your money

Maybe you are a high-value guy, but I’m sure you’d want her to be interested in you for more than just your money.

So don’t try to impress her by dropping how much money you make or how expensive your car is.

This will only make you look insecure and try too hard.

If she’s interested in you, she’ll be curious about these things, but there’s no need to force the issue.

It’s about the lifestyle anyway. Amounts don’t matter as much as guys think.

Find common interests

This is a good one for teeing up the second date.

When we get to this later, you’ll see how this can make it easier for you to ask for a second date.

But for now, just focus on finding things the two of you have in common.

It could be something as simple as a shared love of books or movies.

Use these common interests to further the conversation and build a stronger connection.

Don’t be a yes man

Don’t be afraid to be your true self.

She may be the most attractive girl you’ve ever met, but that doesn’t mean that you should just agree with everything she says.

Challenge her on things, share your own opinion, and be genuine.

Women are attracted to men who are confident and know what they want.

So don’t be afraid to show her your true colors.

This can all be done without being dismissive or rude.

So respect and appreciate her point of view but don’t let her steamroll you either.

Let her express herself

Whether or not you agree, you need to make sure she feels heard.

Make sure to listen attentively and ask questions about the things she’s saying.

Active listening is a great way to build a connection and make someone feel valued.

And it’s also a great way to get to know someone better.

So make sure to really listen to what she has to say.

Don’t cut her off because even though you would prefer a second date, don’t stop her from saying something that is clearly a red flag for you.

Letting her speak could save you all that time and effort of planning and spending money on multiple dates when it clearly wouldn’t work out.

Pay attention to her body language

Body language is a huge part of communication and will give you little hints about how she is feeling.

In fact, it’s estimated that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal.

That means what she’s saying with her body language is just as important as the words she’s using.

So make sure her body language is giving you positive signals.

Is she facing you or turned away?

Is she making eye contact or looking around the room?

These are all things to pay attention to.

Compliment her

Everyone likes to be complimented, so make sure to find things you genuinely like about her and let her know.

Just be careful not to overdo it, or she might think you’re insincere.

A simple “I like your hair” can go a long way.

Man and woman getting close and laughing on first date

Don’t be afraid to get close

Getting close and physical touch could tell you everything you need.

If she pulls away, if you touch her hand or fold her arms and close herself off when you close distance.

Of course, you want to be smooth when making your move but don’t be afraid to get close and personal. It could save you a lot of trouble down the road.

End the date on a high note

The best way to end the date is to leave her wanting more.

If you feel that things are starting to wind down because maybe it’s getting late and you are tired.

Don’t be afraid to end things on a high note.

You want her to be thinking about you after the date is over.

A great way to do this is to say, “I had a great time tonight. I’m really glad we met.”

This will leave her wanting more, and let her know you’re interested.

Get the number

When you step up your dating game, you will sometimes be able to get the first date your first time meeting.

Say you see her sitting at the park and decide to use a funny pickup line.

Now you are chatting, the interaction is going well, and she mentions needing a coffee.

So, you offer to get her a coffee and end up on a first date within the hour.

Congrats, now get your date number and get ready for date number two.

Guy resting his head on girls lap while on a second date

How long do guys wait to ask for a second date?

The best time to set up a second date is usually within 24 hours after the first date. You shouldn’t wait to lock in the second date when the first date is going or has gone well.

If you wait too long, she might lose interest or meet someone else.

Online dating has given single women a lot of power when it comes to dating.

In the past, a man would have to make all the moves and do all the work, but now women can be more selective and have many options.

That means that you need to strike while the iron is hot.

If things are going well on the first date, then go for it and ask for second dates.

So stop playing games or hard to get when you want to set up a second date.

Just let her know if you had a good time and want to see her again.

The ball is now in her court, and she can decide if she wants to go out with you again or not.

But at least you’re being upfront about your intentions and not playing games.

How do you know if you should ask a girl on a second date?

You’ll know if you should ask for a second date by how well things go on the first date. If you feel there were a lot of mixed signals or something didn’t go well, then maybe it’s not worth asking for a second date.

But if things went well and you had a good time, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t ask her out again.

The key is to read the situation and go with your gut.

The best time to ask for a second date is at the end of a first date that went well.

But if you didn’t ask, but she took the initiative to text you first later that night or the next day, that’s a good sign she wants to see you again.

The bottom line is that if things went well on the first date and you want to see her again, just go for it and ask her out on a second date.

When should you set up a second date?

Setting up the second date can happen right after she has agreed or the next day. The main thing is getting her to commit so you know she’s interested.

You want to ensure that things are moving forward and not just stagnating.

The life story of most guys is that they are asking regardless of the signals she has been giving of and wonder why they get ghosted.

Save yourself the trouble and only ask when the signal is green!

How do you ask for a second date?

When you ask for second dates, the direct approach is best. You are likely asking because there’s a sense of mutual interest and attraction.

You don’t need to beat around the bush.

Just let her know that you had a great time on the first date and would love to see her again.

She’ll either say yes or no, but at least you’re putting yourself out there, and now you know.

The key is to be confident and direct while still being respectful.

You can say things like:

“I had a great time tonight. I’m really glad we met. Would you like to go out again sometime soon?”

This works because it’s direct but also polite and respectful.

“I had a great time last night, and I’d like to see you again. Would you like coffee with me?”

This works well because it’s specific and shows that you’re interested in getting to know her better.

“I had a lot of fun last night. I’m free Friday if you’re interested in getting together again.”

This works because it shows that you want to see her again but leaves the ball in her court.

“Since we both love hiking, I’d love to show you my favorite spot this weekend?”

This works because you are showing that you were listening and picked an activity that you know she enjoys.

Final thoughts

You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, so make sure you make the most of your first date.

Be confident, be yourself, and be respectful.

And if things go well, don’t hesitate to ask for a second date.

If this is a place where you struggle, don’t be too ashamed to contact a relationship coach or someone you can talk to and better navigate the dating scene.

The best approach to getting better at dating is to be proactive and put yourself out there.

Yes, it can be scary, but what’s the alternative? Staying home alone on a Friday night? No thanks!

I wish you the best of luck in your dating adventures!


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