She Sends Mixed Signals: What They Do and How To Handle It

Mixed signals are conflicting messages that leave you feeling confused about someone's intentions. They might say one thing and do another or give off verbal and non-verbal cues that don't match up.
Woman giving mixed signals while on a date eating pizza

Girls will send mixed signals for a variety of reasons that can make a guy feel rejected or drive him insane trying to figure out what they mean.

Whether you find it fair or not, it is something you will need to learn to deal with to succeed in the dating world.

What are mixed signals?

Mixed signals are conflicting messages that leave you feeling confused about someone’s intentions.

They might say one thing and do another or give off verbal and non-verbal cues that don’t match up.

For example, a girl might tell you she’s not interested in dating anyone but then flirts with you and act interested when you’re around.

Or, she might say she’s busy when you ask her out but then post pictures on social media of her out with other people.

It’s one thing to already have plans, but lying is one of those red flags you don’t want to ignore.

Girl giving guy mixed signals at a party

What does it mean when a girl is giving mixed signals?

When a girl is sending mixed signals, it can mean a number of things.

She might be interested in you but is unsure or not ready to pursue anything further.

Or, she might be trying to string you along because she enjoys the dinners and parts you have access to but has no intention of ever taking things to the next level.

Mixed signals can also be a way for someone to communicate that they’re not interested in you, but they don’t want to just come out and say it.

Common mixed signals from a girl

Knowing what mixed signals mean is one thing, but knowing how to spot them is another.

Here are some of the most common mixed signals girls will send:

She wants your attention

One of the most common reasons why girls do this is because they want attention.

It’s a way of getting a guy’s attention without having to put themselves out there too much.

They’ll give just enough signals to keep you interested but keep you at arm’s length without the intention of ever moving things forward and starting a romantic relationship.

She avoids going “all the way”

This kind of mixed signal is one of the most frustrating to guys, but women know what they’re doing when they do this.

She’s interested but not ready to fully commit yet, so she’ll do things like kiss you or sleep in bed with you but stops all physical intimacy.

This leaves guys feeling frustrated and wanting more, which is what she wants.

She sounds interested but never follows through

This happens to guys a lot now with online dating and most communication being through text messages.

You send a text asking her on a date, and she responds with something like, “Sure, that sounds great!”

But then, when you ask what day and time she’s available, she suddenly becomes busy or says she forgot about spending time with you.

Girl giving mixed signals while on a date with a guy

She keeps you away from those she’s close too

If a woman is into you, she will want to show you off to her friends and family.

She may talk about future plans with you and make you feel that you are at the stage of the relationship where meeting her close circle is the next logical step.

But if she continuously makes excuses as to why you haven’t met them yet or seems uncomfortable when you’re around her friends, it’s a mixed signal.

She messages you often, then ghosts you

You faced your fear of rejection, used the perfect pick-up line, and got her number.

You have been texting each other for a little bit and seem to be making an emotional connection.

Then she disappears without explanation, only to pop back up as if she hasn’t been ignoring your messages for weeks.

Everything is one-sided

This is one of those mixed messages you want to pick up on quickly.

This could be a clear sign she is trying to use you if she’s always on the receiving end.

If she is never available and then reaches out because of something she needs or wants, it’s a mixed signal.

The majority of the time, this is a negative signal you shouldn’t ignore.

A relationship should be two-sided; if she is never giving anything, then it might be time to move on.

They won’t share their own feelings

The start of a healthy relationship will include sharing one’s feelings on many different topics.

This is important for learning each other’s needs and true feelings and making sure your values align.

She will give mixed signals if she always expects you to share but never opens up about herself.

She might not be ready for a new relationship you want, or she isn’t sure if she wants anything more than friendship.

Her body language doesn’t match what’s said

She may tell you that she isn’t interested in you but yet can’t seem to keep her hands off you.

Or she might say she likes you but keeps her arms crossed, doesn’t make eye contact, or turns away from you when speaking.

Body language is a huge part of communication; sometimes, it’s the only thing you need to pick up on to know what someone is saying.

Girl hugging a guy smiling

How do you tell if a girl is giving you mixed signals?

Receiving mixed signals can be confusing and can make you second-guess yourself.

If you pay attention to the signs, usually, mixed signals aren’t that mixed after all.

Spotting them early on can save you a lot of time and energy in the long run.

The best way to tell if a girl is giving you mixed signals is to trust your gut.

If something feels off or you’re getting mixed signals, it’s because there is something wrong.

It’s always best to communicate with her directly to see where things are going and ensure you are both on the same page.

What to do if a girl gives mixed signals?

Deciphering mixed messages can be tricky, but there are a few ways you can handle it to get a better understanding of what’s going on.

There is no one perfect answer to this question, but here are some tips:

Don’t take mixed signals too personally

As a high-value guy, you understand the importance of keeping your emotions in check.

The worst thing you could do is get emotional and come across as needy or desperate.

Her mixed signals could have nothing to do with you, so it’s important to not take it personally.

The best thing you can do is stay calm and confident and let her come to you.

Communicate with her directly

If you’re getting mixed signals, the best thing you can do is talk to her about it.

Ask her directly what she wants or how she feels.

This will help to clear up any confusion, and you can avoid wasting your time on someone who isn’t interested.

Pay attention to her actions

Most of the time, mixed signals are just a result of mixed feelings.

She might not be sure what she wants or feels, so she’s giving you mixed signals.

The best thing you can do is pay attention to her actions and see if they match what she says.

If her actions show that she’s interested in you, then there’s a good chance she is, and you should pursue things further.

But if her actions show that she’s not interested, then it’s probably best to move on.

Be patient

Mixed signals can be frustrating, but it’s important to remember that everyone communicates differently.

She might just not be ready to share her feelings yet, or she might need some time to figure out what she wants.

You should accompany being patient with the next point for this to better work in your favor.

Keep your options open

If you get mixed signals from a girl, you must keep living your best life.

Don’t turn down or overlook opportunities with other women because you are waiting on the girl with all the mixed signals to make up her mind.

This will only backfire when she finally decides that she isn’t interested and you’ve turned down other opportunities in the meantime.

The best thing you can do is keep your options open and pursue other women until she makes her feelings clear and you can now clearly see positive signals.

What not to do if a girl gives mixed signals?

From time to time, people send mixed signals, so it’s important not to overreact.

There are a few things you should avoid doing if a girl gives you mixed signals:

Don’t care so much

Don’t try to read too much into her mixed signals. It’s easy to overthink things and start second-guessing yourself but resist the urge.

You are too invested if you get in your feelings because a girl is sending you mixed signals.

Stick to your purpose and use daily affirmations to make sure you stay focused.

Don’t give in

Don’t give in if she’s mixed signals about going out on a date or committing to anything.

Make sure you have your own life and interests outside of her. This will make it easier for you to stick to your guns and not give in to her mixed signals.

You’ve already shown that you are interested in seeing her. So, if she keeps brushing you off, it’s time to let her go.

When she sees that you are pulling away, two things will happen:

She will realize that she actually does like you, or she will move on.

And, either way, you win!

Don’t try to fix it

Don’t try to fix the situation by pressuring the other person for a definite answer.

This will only make things worse and could end up pushing the other person away.

You can come off as a control freak and ruin your chances.

If she is ignoring you, don’t spend time trying to figure out what you did wrong.

Don’t get clingy

Don’t get clingy if you have been trying to get a first date or have been on a few dates.

Let’s say you see her out with her friends and approach her.

Give her a hug and say hi but then go enjoy yourself.

Don’t hover around her all night trying to get her attention.

Play it cool and act like you don’t care too much. Talk to other girls and have a genuinely good time.

This is an attractive trait, and she may be drawn to you if you play your cards right.

The bottom line is that if someone isn’t ready to commit, there’s nothing you can do to change their mind.

Don’t try to turn negative signals into positive ones.

This rarely works in starting a successful relationship.

Mixed Signals FAQ

How do you know if a girl likes you secretly?

You know a girl likes you secretly when she does things like:

  • Text you all the time
  • Likes all your posts on social media
  • Tries to spend time with you whenever possible
  • Gets jealous when you talk to other girls
  • Makes an effort to look good around you
  • Is clearly fighting for your attention

About half the time, mixed signals are just a result of two people not being on the same page.

There’s no need to overthink things or try to read into every little thing she does.

Just relax and go with the flow. Things will work themselves out eventually.

How do you tell if a girl is checking you out?

You can tell if a girl is checking you out when she does things like:

  • Glances your way
  • Smiles at you
  • Licks her lips
  • Runs her fingers through her hair
  • Adjusts her clothing
  • Puts on lipstick
  • Leans in when talking to you
  • Long eye contact

These are also known as choosing signals.

She is making her intentions known, and now the ball is in your court.

You may be shy around girls, but she has already decided that she likes you.

All you have to do is make your move.

If you still can’t make a move at this point, you should get help from a relationship therapist to help you get over your fear.

What are the signs of a woman flirting?

Signs of a woman flirting include:

  • Seductive eye contact
  • Touching
  • Laughing at your jokes
  • Leaning in when talking to you
  • Playfully touching you
  • Asking personal questions
  • Complimenting you
  • Hair flipping

It’s not always easy to tell if a girl is flirting or just being friendly.

The best way to know for sure is to ask her out on a date.

If she says yes, then you know she’s definitely interested.


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