It’s OK to tell your date you’re shy if it comes up naturally in conversation. It’s who you are, but you don’t want to make it appear like a big deal or like you’re asking for sympathy.
Being shy is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s also nothing to dwell on.
You want them to like you for you, so if this is a large part of your personality, it will come out eventually.
So, don’t make your shyness something you want to hide.
How to tell your date you’re shy
If letting your shyness be known is important to you, then there is no need to keep it a secret on your first date.
Here are some tips to let your date know that you’re shy without making it a big deal:
Mention it in passing
If the conversation lulls for a bit, you could bring up your shyness as a way to fill the silence.
For example, suppose that awkward silent moment comes up. In that case, you can say, “This awkward silence is just cause I’m a little shy, but I’m really enjoying the conversation.”
If you’re comfortable with making fun of yourself, then you could use your shyness as a way to make your date laugh.
For example, you could say, “I’m so bad at flirting. My shyness usually gets the best of me around attractive girls.”
Be upfront about it
If you want to be completely upfront about your shyness, you can tell your date before things get too serious.
For example, you could say, “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I tend to be a little shy around new people, but I’m really looking forward to getting to know you.”
What to do if your date is shy
If you find out that your date is shy, then there are a few things you can do to make them feel more comfortable.
Here are some tips:
Take things slower than normal
If your date is shy, you might want to take things a bit slower than usual.
This means not pushing them to open up too much or do anything they’re uncomfortable with.
Make a move
Taking things slow doesn’t mean not making a move.
If they are shy, you have to be a little more assertive and make the first move.
Light touches during laughter can be a way of making them feel more comfortable with you.
If your date is shy, then it’s important to be understanding.
This means not making fun of them for being shy or putting any pressure on them to do anything they’re not comfortable with.
Let them know it’s OK to be shy and that you’re not expecting them to change.
Encourage them to open up
If your date is shy, you can encourage them to open up by sharing a little about yourself first.
This will help them feel more comfortable about doing the same.
Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer and show genuine interest in their responses.
One way to encourage your shy date to open up is by complimenting them.
This will help boost their confidence and make them feel good about themselves.
Try to focus on compliments that are not about their looks. For example, you could say something like
Being shy should be used as your asset in finding someone that is really compatible with you.
It shouldn’t be something you’re ashamed of or try to hide.
Being shy is a part of who you are, and it’s what makes you unique. So, embrace it!