The “nice guy” phenomenon is a popular topic of discussion when it comes to dating and relationships.
The idea that nice guys always finish last and that women are more attracted to “bad boys” or alpha males is far from the truth.
Let’s take a look at the science behind it all.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that while women tend to prefer men who are perceived as more “masculine,” this preference is only temporary.
In other words, women are attracted to men who exhibit qualities traditionally associated with masculinity at first. Still, over time, they become more attracted to men who exhibit qualities associated with kindness and warmth.
So, the idea that women are only interested in “bad boys” is not supported by science.
In fact, being a nice guy can actually be beneficial to your dating and relationship success.
A study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that men who self-identified as “nice guys” were more likely to find success in their relationships than men who self-identified as “jerks.”
So, if you suffer from nice guy syndrome, don’t worry. You’re not doomed to a life of loneliness!
Of course, being a nice guy doesn’t mean that you should be a doormat.
Women still want a strong and confident man, but being kind and understanding are also qualities that are attractive to women.
So, if you’re a nice guy, don’t be afraid to show it! Chances are, it will pay off in the long run.
First, defining what we mean by “nice guy” in more detail is essential.
What is the meaning of nice guy?
A nice guy is typically someone kind, considerate, and helpful. He may also be a good listener and communicator. He is the type of guy who would hold the door open for you or help you carry your groceries.
However, being a nice guy does not guarantee success in the dating world. In fact, there are plenty of nice guys who finish last.
So, what gives?
There are a few reasons why being too nice can backfire when it comes to dating.
For one, women are often attracted to confident and assertive men. This is commonly found in the bad boy.
Nice guys, on the other hand, tend to be more passive. They may be afraid of rejection or of making the first move. This can make them seem less attractive to women.
Additionally, nice guys often try too hard to please women. They may do things they don’t really want to do or put up with lousy treatment to keep a woman happy.
This can be a turn-off for many women.
So, while being a nice guy is essential, it is also vital to have self-confidence and be assertive.
Don’t be afraid to make the first move or stand up for yourself. And don’t try too hard to please a woman – she’ll appreciate your
Why does being nice carry negative connotations?
The nice guy stereotype often carries negative connotations because it can be seen as needy or desperate.
Additionally, many nice guys finish last because they lack the confidence and assertiveness that women find attractive.
Another negative trait associated with nice guys is that they do things and feel women owe them something in return.
Most women feel that if you are such a nice guy as you claim, you will not need anything in return and can just do things out of the goodness of your heart.
However, if you are always looking for something in return, it can be a major turn-off.
Of course, some women will date nice guys.
There are plenty of women out there who appreciate nice guys. However, these women are often looking for a more stable and committed relationship.
They may be tired of dating bad guys and are ready for something more serious.
So, if you are a nice guy, don’t give up hope!
What creates a nice guy?
There are a few things that can create a nice guy.
One is when a man has low self-esteem. He may believe that he is not good enough for the woman he wants and that being nice is the only way to get her attention.
Another reason is if a man has been hurt in the past by women.
They treat women and are genuinely kind but get the bare minimum in return.
Unfortunately, many guys will try and combat this by going over the top with their gestures which ultimately turns good guys into simps.
When it comes to insightful and dynamic thinking, it’s hard to beat the famous quote, “it’s not what you know, it’s what you think about what you know.”
This is especially true when it comes to women’s dating preferences and long-term relationships.
There are many myths and misconceptions about what it takes to be successful with women.
One of the most common misconceptions is that being a nice guy will guarantee success.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case. In fact, being too nice can often lead to rejection and heartache.
So, why do nice guys finish last?
There are a few reasons.
One reason is that women often see nice guys as too needy and clingy.
They want a confident and self-assured man, not someone who is always asking for reassurance or approval.
Another reason is that nice guys often lack the ability to be dominant and take charge.
Women are attracted to men who are leaders and can take charge in a situation.
Nice guys tend to be followers, not leaders.
Lastly, nice guys often make the mistake of trying to buy a woman’s affection with expensive gifts or grand gestures.
While this may work in the short term, it’s not sustainable in the long term.
Female preferences typically lean toward wanting an emotionally strong man, not someone who is constantly trying to buy their love and attention.
So, if you’re a nice guy struggling to find success with women, don’t despair.
There are ways to turn things around and attract the women you want.
It starts with having the right mindset and believing in yourself.
Once you do that, the rest will fall into place.
Do nice guys still finish last?
Nice guys don’t always finish last. If you are a nice guy and you have your act together, you can be successful with women and in life.
If you are a nice guy and you are having trouble finding success with women, there are things you can do to turn things around.
Be true to yourself
You need to have the right mindset. Believe in yourself and your own worth. Don’t try to be someone you think women want you to be. Instead, be confident and comfortable in your own skin.
Work on your social skills
Part of being a successful nice guy is being good at socializing. So work on your conversation skills. Learn how to make small talk and keep conversations going. Be interesting and interested.
Focus on reciprocation
Don’t try to buy a woman’s affection with gifts or grand gestures. Instead, focus on reciprocation.
There is nothing wrong with being the nice guy and doing nice things but have boundaries and stick to them.
Don’t be too available if you want to avoid the friend zone; you are constantly texting or emailing her first. Let her reach out to you sometimes.
Don’t let a woman take advantage of you.
If she does, move on. There are plenty of other women out there who will appreciate your nice guy qualities.
Don’t be a pushover
A common misconception is that being a nice guy means being a pushover. This is not true. You can be assertive and confident without being aggressive or rude.
Don’t get emotional
Focus on being emotionally strong. Women are attracted to men who are confident and in control.
If you can be that man, you will find the success you are looking for.
What may be considered basic decency to a nice guy can come across as needy or even clingy to a woman.
If you are not getting positive feedback from your interactions with women, it may be time to reassess your approach.
Get help
I say it all the time that professional athletes who have spent thousands of hours becoming great at what they do still use coaches.
But us “normal guys” can feel like getting help makes us seem weak.
The truth is, we all can use help in one way or another when it comes to success with women.
Get a dating coach who focuses on helping nice guys succeed with women.
Find someone you trust and who has the results you want, and get some help. It could be the best decision you ever make.
Remember, being a nice guy doesn’t mean you have to finish last. You can be the successful nice guy you want to be with the right mindset and approach.
It’s all about respect. If you want more new ideas about getting the results you are looking for, you should read our article, How To Be Respected As A Man.
Are you asking the right questions?
When it comes to women and dating, most men don’t ask women the right questions.
Likely you’re not simply because you still do know what questions to ask because you haven’t had success with women yet.
You must get clear on what you want, and asking the right questions is part of that process.
If a girl wants to put you into the boyfriend zone, you need to know if this is actually a woman that is best for the so-called nice guy.
What’s her personality like? What are her interests? What kind of lifestyle does she live?
You need to get clear about the type of woman you want before you can take action to attract her.
If you are a young guy, you likely will not know these details while dealing with university women.
Until you both have experience trying to balance life, it’s tough to know these things in general.
You’ll have unrealistic expectations feeling like women belong to you, and if she doesn’t want to be with you, you think it’s because you’re not good enough.
It has nothing to do with that. Women are simply individuals just like men are.
And they deserve the same amount of respect.
If you want success with women, start by asking the right questions by focusing on yourself and the type of woman that will complement your goals in life.
Tell me the best way to escape the friend zone
There’s no surefire way to escape the friend zone, but there are certain things you can do to improve your chances.
First, try to be more than just a friend to the person you’re interested in.
Be someone they can rely on and confide in, and make an effort to spend time with them doing things you both enjoy.
Second, start how you want to finish. From the beginning, you should let her know your intention is to pursue a romantic relationship, not just be friends.
Third, start spending less time with her. As much as you may want to be around her, giving her some space will make her appreciate your company more.
Fourth, increase your physical attractiveness. This doesn’t mean you have to go out and get plastic surgery, but make an effort to improve your hygiene and style. Many don’t want to admit it, but attraction works.
Last, get focused on your purpose. Stop worrying about whether she likes you as a friend or not, and focus on achieving your goals. Women want ambitious men, and if you’re constantly thinking about her, you won’t appear confident.
There’s no guarantee that these things will work, but they may improve your chances of escaping the friend zone. Of course, the best way to know for sure is to just ask her out on a date and see what happens. Good luck!
Final thoughts
There you have it! Whether the “nice guy finishing last” phenomenon is true or false depends on your interpretation.
Some people believe that being too nice to a woman will only make her see you as a friend. In contrast, others think that being a good person is the best way to attract someone romantically.
Nice guy FAQ
Where does the saying nice guys finish last come from?
The saying is often attributed to baseball player Leo Durocher, who said, “Nice guys finish last” in a 1946 interview. However, it’s possible that he was just repeating something he had heard previously.
Is being a nice guy a bad thing?
No, being a nice guy is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, being a good person is generally a positive quality. However, there is a difference between being a nice guy and being a doormat.
What are the traits of a nice guy?
There is no definitive answer, but some people believe that nice guys are typically gentle, caring, and selfless. But, on the other hand, they may also be seen as being too passive or submissive.
What do women want in a man?
In general, many women appreciate men who are confident, assertive and have their life together. Being a nice guy can be attractive to some women, but it’s not always the most important thing.
What do girls mean by nice guys?
When a girl refers to a guy as being a “nice guy,” she may mean that he is a good person. However, she may also say that he is too nice or lacks confidence.
