Letting go of someone you have a deep connection with can be challenging.
The healing process can last for some time, and there is no right way to cope with the pain.
How do you tell someone who lost the love of their life of more than twenty years that it is time to move on?
Or tell someone who thought they were in a committed healthy relationship that it is time to let it go?
In short, you don’t.
You give them the opportunity to discover that for themselves.
You provide support and understanding during their journey. Still, ultimately it is up to them to decide to let go.
If you are struggling to let go of someone you care deeply for, or you want to help someone else whos struggling, we will discuss some ways to make the process a little easier.
Why is letting go so hard?
Letting go can be tricky because we often invest a lot into the relationship. We may have put our heart and soul into it, and when it ends, we can feel like we are losing a part of ourselves.
It can be challenging to see things clearly when in pain, but it is essential to remember that a relationship does not define us.
For your own psychological well-being, it is important to let go of any negative emotions associated with the relationship and focus on the positive aspects of your life.
Your future happiness does not hinge on how you are feeling in this present moment.
Learning to work through your emotional pain will help in moving forward and create a positive new chapter in your life.
How to let her go
When you realize it is time to let go, it can be helpful to have a plan in place.
This will give you a sense of control during a chaotic and difficult time.
The process of letting go may look different for everyone, but there are some general tips that can help you see things in a new light.
Acknowledge how you feel at this very moment
This is not a time to hide from how you are feeling.
Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the relationship.
Allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions, even if they are painful.
What you are feeling is normal, and it will eventually pass.
Every new relationship hits you differently, and sometimes even past hurts can come bubbling up to the surface.
Working through these emotions will help you move on in a healthy way.
Choose your personal support group
It can be helpful to talk about your experience with someone who has gone through a similar situation.
It is common to feel alone like you are the only one who has ever felt this way.
It is likely that someone close to you you trust has been through or helped someone else through the same situation.
Let them be your sounding board as you talk through what you are feeling.
The right friends and family can provide an unbiased perspective and help talk you through your emotions.
Seek professional help
When friends and family are not an option. Either because they are too close to the situation or you don’t feel ready to talk about it with them, there is no shame in seeking professional help.
This can be an excellent way to get started on the road to recovery and discovery.
Your therapist will provide a safe space for you to express your emotions and work through any issues that may be holding you back.
Working through this with a professional on a deeper level will help you understand how to let her go. It will also help you build a solid foundation for future relationships.
Identify any unhealthy coping mechanisms
It is common to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms when struggling emotionally with break ups or losses.
We may turn to drugs or alcohol to numb our pain or engage in risky behaviors.
These coping mechanisms may provide temporary relief, but they will ultimately make us feel worse in the long run.
It is important to be aware of any unhealthy coping mechanisms that you may be using and work on replacing them with healthy ones.
Some healthy coping mechanisms include:
- Exercise
- Spending time outdoors in nature
- Journaling
- Spending time with friends and family
- Yoga or meditation
- Listening to music
- Working on a hobby
Focus on self-care
A breakup can be a catalyst for positive change and new growth.
It can be a time to reassess our goals, purpose, and priorities.
It can be an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and become a better version of ourselves.
But, in order for this to happen, we need to focus on taking care of ourselves both physically and emotionally.
This means making time for things like exercise, relaxation, and healthy eating.
It also means being mindful of our thoughts and emotions and choosing to focus on the positive.
As time passes, it can get easier to sit in pain and let go of ourselves instead of working through the emotions and moving on.
But, if we can focus on taking care of ourselves during this time, we will be better equipped to deal with whatever challenges come our way.
Let the idea of the relationship go
When you are with someone for an extended amount of time, it is natural to start to make plans for the future.
It can be difficult to let go of the idea of what could have been.
Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and then focus on creating a new future for yourself.
This doesn’t mean you have to forget about the person or the memories you shared.
It just means that you must focus on creating a new vision for your life and letting go of the old one.
Cut off your ex
Sometimes this is easier said than done.
Your ex may also be close to a family member or friend, which can complicate things.
You may have to see them on a regular basis if you share custody of children or pets.
But, if possible, it is best to cut off all communication with your ex.
This includes phone calls, text messages, social media, and anything else that would allow them to reach out to you.
Or see things that could affect the peaceful state you are trying to achieve.
It may be difficult at first, but it is important to do what is best for you and your emotional well-being.
Be active
Staying busy is a great way to keep your mind off of the breakup and the negative emotions that come along with it.
It can be helpful to have a list of activities that you can turn to when you are feeling down.
Try to rediscover things that used to make you happy or that you have been wanting to do but never had the time for.
Has it been a while since you picked up those golf clubs or that guitar?
Now is the time to dust them off and start enjoying yourself again.
Finding something that makes you happy and helps you relax is important.
Avoid social media at all costs
In today’s world, getting caught up in what other people are doing is easy.
We can compare our lives to the seemingly perfect lives we see on social media and feel like we don’t measure up.
This is not only unhealthy but can also make the healing process after break ups much harder.
It is best to avoid social media altogether during this time, especially if there is a possibility that you will come across something about your ex.
Embrace your emotional pain
Earlier, we discussed acknowledging your feelings. Now it’s time to embrace them.
This doesn’t mean that you have to like the pain or want to feel this way, but it does mean accepting it as part of the process.
Try not to fight the emotions or push them away.
Let yourself feel what you need to feel, and then release it.
Life starts again when you can fully embrace all the emotions that come with a breakup and move on from them.
You must forgive the other person
It doesn’t matter if they wronged you in some way.
You must forgive them and accept the reality that they are no longer a part of your life.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be friends with them or even talk to them again.
It just means that you need to forgive them in your heart and let go of the anger and resentment you are feeling.
Only then will you be able to truly move on with other women without trying to avoid pain or feeling like you don’t deserve better.
Remember why it was an unhealthy relationship
This is not about holding on to the pain but rather about remembering the realities of the relationship.
You need to remember why it ended and why it was an unhealthy relationship for you.
This will help you to see things more clearly and make it easier for you to move on.
It is also important to keep in mind that not every breakup has to be a bad thing.
Sometimes people outgrow each other, and it is best for them to move on.
Give it time
The time it takes to let go is different for everyone.
Some people can move on in a few months, while others need more time to process things and work through their emotions.
It is important to give yourself the time that you need to heal and don’t try to force things.
If you try to rush the process, you will likely find yourself feeling worse in the end.
Your past relationship is now just a part of your history.
You can learn from it and use it to grow as a person, but don’t let it define you or hold you back.
Consider a rebound relationship
You should consider this only after you have taken some time for yourself and worked through your emotions.
Rebound relationships can be a great way to help you move on from your past relationship.
It can give you the companionship you crave and help you feel you desired again.
Just be sure you are entering it for the right reasons and not just to avoid being alone.
This can easily be one of those unhealthy coping mechanisms that I discussed earlier.
A rebound relationship can be a great way to help you move on from your past relationship if it is entered into for the right reasons.
Find gratitude
The saying, “It can always be worse,” is very true when you are letting go of someone your care about.
It is easy to focus on all the negative things in your life, but if you take the time to find gratitude, it will help you see things differently.
Start by making a list of all of the things that you are grateful for in finding out that this relationship may not have been the right one for you.
Some things that you may be grateful for include:
- You are no longer in a toxic or abusive relationship
- You can now focus on your own happiness
- You are free to find someone who is a better match for you
- You have learned from the experience and can use it to grow as
If you lost someone due to age or sickness, trying to find the things you are grateful for in having had them in your life to begin with, can be very helpful.
You may be grateful for:
- The happy memories that you shared together
- The lessons that they taught you
- The love that you experienced
- How their presence made you a better person
Finding things to be grateful for will help you to see the positive aspects of the situation and make it easier to let go.
Give yourself permission to grieve
It is natural to feel sad and even angry when a relationship ends.
Allow yourself to grieve the loss, and don’t try to bottle it up.
You are absolutely allowed to feel whatever emotions that come up for you.
It is also okay to cry.
Crying can be therapeutic and help you release some of the pain you are feeling.
Keep putting in your own work to find happiness, and you’ll realize that the pain of letting go continues to get better.
Practice empathy
This is a tough one but can be helpful if you manage it.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person.
In this case, try to put yourself in the shoes of the person you are letting go of.
What are they feeling?
What are they going through?
This doesn’t mean that you should try to contact them or even that you should feel sorry for them.
It simply means trying to understand their perspective and where they are coming from.
This can help to give you a sense of closure and make it easier to move on.
Don’t play the blame game
It is easy to point the finger at the other person.
However, this will only make you feel worse and keep you trapped in the past.
Instead of playing the blame game, try to hone in on taking responsibility for your own part in the situation.
What could you have done differently?
What did you learn from the experience?
Taking responsibility for your actions will help you feel empowered and in control of your own life.
Have some alone time
Learn how to enjoy spending time by yourself.
This is an excellent opportunity to focus on your own happiness and growth.
Use this time to do things that make you happy and nurture your own soul.
When you are in a relationship, you tend to lose a sense of self since you have been a pair for so long.
Now is the time to reconnect with yourself and find out who you are again.
What things put you in a more peaceful state of mind that only requires your own company?
Enjoy this time to get to know yourself on a deeper level.
When should you finally decide to move on from a girl?
It can make you feel anxious and even scared when you feel like it’s time to let go of a girl.
However, it is important to trust your gut and listen to what your heart is telling you.
There is no set time frame for when you should let go, but it’s when you realize that the relationship isn’t healthy for either of you anymore.
It could be because:
- You are not being treated the way you deserve
- The relationship has turned toxic
- You are not happy
- Neither of you is putting in the effort to better the relationship
- You have grown apart
- One or both of you are not ready for a committed relationship
If any of these resonate with you, it might be time to start thinking about moving on.
It’s important to remember that this is YOUR decision, and you should do what is best for YOU.
Sometimes people stay in relationships for much longer than they should because they fear being alone.
However, being in an unhappy relationship is much worse than being alone.
It is important to be honest with yourself, and if you feel you need to let go, then do it.
Signs you haven’t moved on
It’s common for denial to set in when you haven’t truly let go yet.
You may feel like you have moved on, but you continue to do things that keep you connected to the person you are trying to forget.
Here are some signs that you haven’t moved on yet:
- You still talk about them all the time
- You stalk their social media accounts
- You have all of their stuff still
- You refuse to date anyone else
- You continue to compare everyone to them
- You keep bringing up old memories
If any of these sound familiar, then it’s likely that you haven’t moved on yet.
It’s important to do what you need to do to truly let go and move on with your life.
The reality is that you can’t force yourself to forget someone.
However, you can take steps to make it easier, and eventually, the memories will fade in time.
Letting Go Quotes For Finally Moving On
Quotes are great because they provide short, catchy, easy-to-remember snippets of wisdom that can help you let go of someone you care for.
When going through a tough breakup or loss, it can be helpful to read letting go quotes that resonate with your situation.
Here are some of our favorites:
- “There comes a time in your life when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book.” –Unknown
- “The greatest distance between two people is not hate, it’s indifference.” – Amish Tripathi
- “Moving on is a universal necessity, the mark of survival. To move on is to change, and change is the only constant in life.” –Unknown
- “Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.” – Theodor Geisel
- “Forgiveness doesn’t sit there like a pretty little thing. It’s not static. It’s dynamic. Forgiveness is an active process. It’s the beginning of a journey. It’s about letting go of something and moving forward.” – Unknown
- “You can love someone so much…But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.” – John Green
- “The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.” – Poise
- “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” – Alfred, Lord Tennyson
- “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it was meant to be. If not, then it never really was.” – Richard Bach
- “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” – Steve Maraboli
- “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” – James Baldwin
- “You gotta stop holding onto the pain to keep the memory alive.” – Unknown
- “Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.” – Veronica Roth
- “The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” – John Green
- “There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” – Bryant H. McGill
- “It’s never too late – never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.” – Jane Fonda
- “You don’t have to forget; you just have your own work to do to remember what it feels like not being with that person anymore.” – Steven J. Wilson
- “The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.” – Unknown
- “There is an important difference between giving up and letting go.” – Jessica Hatchigan
- “I think one of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter.” – James Earl Jones
- “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” – Paulo Coelho
