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ToggleMost guys find dating life challenging, especially when they don’t have the tools to help them overcome shyness.
When you find yourself in the position to talk to attractive women, you may start to feel nervous and wonder what you should say.
You don’t want to say the wrong thing and make a fool of yourself.
This is why we encounter the question, “How to meet a girl if you are shy” all the time.
Dating can be difficult for anyone, but it is especially challenging for shy guys.
If you’re a shy guy, you may have trouble meeting women. You may find yourself tongue-tied when trying to talk to them, or you may be too afraid to approach them altogether.
Fortunately, there are some things you can do to ease your way into the dating scene.
How to approach and meet women if you’re a shy guy
There are a number of things you can do to meet girls or possibly get out of the friend zone.
1. You have to Get Out of the house
Don’t let your social anxiety hold you back. The best way to do this is by getting out of the house and talking to people you don’t know.
It could be as simple as striking up a conversation with the girl in line at the coffee shop or making small talk with someone sitting next to you on the bus.
It may feel awkward at first if you’re not used to talking to strangers, but it will get easier with practice.
And who knows, you may even meet a beautiful woman.
2. Overcome your Approach Anxiety
The dating game can be nerve-wracking. You see a cute girl across the room, and you want to talk to her, but you don’t know what to say.
You don’t want to make a fool of yourself, so you start to feel anxious.
The key is to not let your anxiety get the best of you. Instead, take a deep breath and remind yourself that there is nothing to be nervous about.
She is just a human being, and millions of other beautiful women are out there.
When you’re first getting to know someone, keeping the conversation light and manageable is essential.
Ask her about her day, or make a comment about the weather. Then, once you’ve broken the ice, you can start talking about more personal things.
But make sure you keep #17 on this list in mind, so she knows your intent.
3. Start where you are comfortable
Some dating advice can be a little extreme, to say the least.
You may have been told that the best way to meet women is to approach them in bars or clubs.
But if you’re shy, this may not be the best option for you.
It’s vital to start where you are comfortable. If approaching women in bars or clubs makes you too anxious, then don’t do it.
Instead, start with small talk in other settings, such as in line at the grocery store or in the elevator.
Once you feel more comfortable talking to women, you can gradually start approaching them in more challenging situations.
4. Mention Your Shyness after the Approach
Shyness doesn’t necessarily signify weakness.
On the contrary, if you mention your shyness in your approach, as long as you sound and have confident body language, she may find it refreshing and endearing.
“I’m actually really shy, but I wanted to say hi.”
“I don’t usually do this, but you’re gorgeous, and I couldn’t help myself.”
Be sure not to use this as an excuse or an opener but rather as a means to convey that you’re interested and want to get to know her better.
If you are shy, you want to spend time with a girl that appreciates your shyness. So when you approach cute girls leading with your shyness allows them to get insights into your personality upfront.
Then if things progress, you can go on a first date with a girl and not have to worry about your shyness causing a problem.
5. Present yourself well
Regardless of your preference, your appearance and demeanor matter when you approach women. Make sure you’re well-groomed and presentable.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be wealthy or wear the latest fashion trends, but you should make an effort to look your best.
Women are attracted to men who take care of themselves and who seem put together. So if you want to make a good impression, make sure you’re looking your best.
6. Be confident
One of the most important things to remember when approaching women is to be confident.
Yes, I know you’ve heard this plenty of times before but stick with me for a sec.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be cocky or arrogant, but you should believe in yourself and your ability to attract women, even as a shy guy.
Shy guys who approach a woman with confidence are more likely to get her attention than those who don’t.
So if you want to succeed in the dating game, make sure you project confidence when approaching women.
7. Know what you want to say
When you’re approaching a woman, it’s important to know what you want to say. This may sound like common sense, but you’d be surprised how many guys approach women without having any idea what they’re going to say.
Don’t be one of those guys.
Instead, take a few minutes to think about what you want to say before you approach her. This will help you sound more confident and ensure that the conversation starts smoothly.
8. Don’t take rejection personally
When dating, understand it’s a numbers game.
You will not find your dream girl by approaching the bare minimum of girls you come across.
You will be rejected by some, but that’s okay. It’s not personal.
The more girls you approach, the more likely you are to find one who’s sexually attracted to you.
So don’t take rejection personally and keep approaching women until you find one who wants to talk to you.
9. Harness your strengths
Most shy guys think a successful dating life is reserved for outgoing guys.
But that’s not true.
You can use your shyness to your advantage by harnessing your strengths.
For example, if you’re a good listener, you can use that to your advantage by being a great conversationalist. If you’re good at reading people, you can use that to figure out what she wants and give it to her.
There are plenty of ways you can use your strengths to your advantage, so figure out what yours are and use them.
10. Be yourself
This one might seem obvious, but it’s worth mentioning because so many guys try to be someone they’re not when they’re around women.
The best dating advice you can pay attention to is the ones that help you become your best self.
This is because you need to understand that the best thing you can do for your life is by approaching girls that vibe with your personal energy and accept you for you.
You being the shy guy is enough. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you’re not good enough because of it.
11. Feel good about yourself
It’s easier to feel good about yourself when you follow the previous point and be yourself.
Most guys think that in order to be considered worthy of most women, they need to be rich, have a lot of muscles, or be tall. But unfortunately, this is not always the case.
There are plenty of women out there who will like you for you and not what you have.
If your goal is to get a girlfriend, why would you want anything else?
Many shy guys get caught up with the random girl that is actually showing interest and do things like ignoring the negative signs because they don’t want to face the possibility they will be single again for months or years.
You’re better than that.
And you deserve someone who truly has a romantic interest in you.
12. Get rid of your baggage
Okay, shy guys, let’s get real.
Your baggage is a huge factor in why you can’t get a girlfriend.
You hold on to that rejection that made you feel embarrassed years ago, or you think that one girl who said “let’s just be friends” when you were hoping would be your girlfriend.
You’re still holding on to that baggage, and it’s weighing you down.
It’s time to let it go and move on.
I know it’s not easy, but you need to in order to progress with approaching girls.
In order to do this, you first need to forgive yourself for any part you played in the situation and then let it go.
This is easier said than done, but it can be done.
And once you do, you’ll feel lighter and feel like a more confident man, which will make it easier to attract the right girl into your life.
13. Improve your sense of humor
Girls love guys with a good sense of humor.
But what you might not know is that being funny is a skill that can be learned.
You don’t have to be born with it. You just need to put in the work to learn how to do it.
And the great thing is, once you learn how to be funny, it’s something you can use for the rest of your life.
It will make you more attractive to women, but it’ll also make your life more fun and enjoyable.
So if you want to improve your dating success, start by working on your sense of humor.
Or, as a hack, find other ways to introduce laughter like going to comedy clubs with her, watching comedy shows together, or even taking improv classes.
You might not be the next Kevin Hart, but you’ll definitely make her laugh, and that’s what counts.
14. Conquer your fears
Your fears are probably one of the biggest things holding you back from success with women.
And the thing is, most of your fears are probably baseless and not even real.
For example, you might be afraid to approach women because you think they’ll reject you.
But the truth is, most women are actually quite open to being approached by guys, as long as they do it correctly.
It’s hard to keep in mind that she might be closed off because she is in a committed relationship already or has other priorities like school or her career.
And even if she does reject you, it’s not the end of the world. You’ll just move on to the next one.
So instead of letting your fears hold you back, use them as motivation to push yourself forward.
And once you start conquering your fears, you’ll be amazed at how your dating life will improve.
15. Start working out
Let’s be honest, guys. Guys respect other guys that are physically fit.
Being physically fit takes work and dedication to achieve, and there is a reason not many people percentage-wise are not fit.
So if guys can respect other guys that are physically fit, don’t you think girls will too?
The answer is yes! They do.
In fact, most girls are more attracted to guys in shape because it shows that the guy takes care of himself and is disciplined.
And girls love guys who are disciplined because it usually means they are more successful in other areas of their lives.
So if you want to improve your dating success, start by getting in shape.
It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. You don’t need to be the next Mr. Olympia or anything like that.
Start going to the gym a few times a week and eating healthier.
As you start to see results, you’ll feel better about yourself and begin to attract more girls.
16. Keep track of your progress
Meeting girls and getting good outcomes is a skill you develop. And like any skill, you need to practice it and get better at it over time.
But the problem is, most guys don’t do this. They just go out and wing it without really tracking their progress.
This is a mistake because you can’t improve something if you don’t measure it. So if you want to get better with women, start by keeping track of your progress.
Every time you go out, make a note of how many girls you approach and what the outcome was.
Did you get her number? Did you kiss her? Did you sleep with her?
By tracking your progress, you’ll be able to see how you’re doing and what areas you need to work on. And as you continue to improve, you’ll be amazed at the results you start to get.
17. Show your interest
Focus on projecting confidence, eye contact, and strong body language, and let her feel, without a doubt, that you have a romantic interest.
One of the most common mistakes guys make is not showing enough interest. They think they need to play it cool or be aloof in order to attract women.
But the truth is, women are attracted to men who show interest in them. So if you want to improve your dating life, start by showing more interest in the women you meet.
This doesn’t mean you need to be clingy or needy. But, please, don’t take on the role of a simp. Just make sure you let her know that you’re interested in a subtle way.
Compliment her, ask her questions about herself, and find ways to touch her. If you do these things, and she is showing interest in you and open to your advances, you’re well on your way to taking things to the next level.
18. Go to the right places
If you want to meet attractive women, you need to frequent the right places. This means going to the right type of clubs, sports bars, and events that attract a high caliber of women.
Think outside of the box and be open to places you may not usually go, like:
- Local coffee shops
- Take a yoga class
- Join a martial arts studio
- Take cooking classes
- Take a college class if you are in that age range (Don’t be the creepy old guy)
These places are great places to meet women because they offer a relaxed and fun environment where you can easily start a conversation and help with your social skills.
So if you want to improve your dating life, start by going to the right places. Then, once you find yourself in the presence of beautiful women regularly, you’ll be well on your way to success.
19. Online dating
Another way to meet women is through online dating. This can be an excellent option for shy guys because it allows you to build rapport with someone before meeting them in person.
There are also a number of dating apps that can help you connect with potential partners in your area.
So if you want to improve your dating life, consider giving dating apps a try. You might be surprised at how well it works for you.
The best way to attract women online is by creating a dating profile that stands out from the rest.
You’ll need to use strong, positive language, highlight your most attractive traits, and use high-quality photos. You should also be honest about what you’re looking for in a relationship.
You compete with thousands of guys in your area, so don’t use a dark, creepy-looking bathroom pic on your dating profile.
And finally, don’t be afraid to show your interest in women. If you do all of these things, you’ll be sure to attract the attention of beautiful women online.
20. Get a dating coach
Professional athletes who have spent thousands of hours honing their craft still need a coach. But shy guys feel that getting a dating coach somehow admits weakness.
This could not be further from the truth. Even the most successful people in the world have coaches because they know it’s impossible to be great at everything.
If you want to take your dating life to the next level, consider getting a coach. A good coach will help you improve your social skills, meet girls, get the first date, and much more.
There’s no shame in getting help from someone who knows more than you. In fact, it’s one of the smartest things you can do if you’re serious about improving your dating skills.
21. Expand your social circle
It’s likely your social anxiety that may make you feel like you can’t use new friends. However, your whole life can change for the positive by just having more friends that share your core values.
By expanding your social circle, you are expanding your chances that your friends know other women you find attractive and can make the introduction.
You should also join social clubs and participate in activities that interest you. This is a great way to meet new people, and it can also help you overcome your social anxiety.
22. Start taking action
The second to last step is to start taking action.
This means approaching women, going on dates, and ultimately getting into a relationship.
You can’t just sit around and hope that things will happen for you. You need to make them happen.
If you are not sure where to start, try this three-month blueprint:
Month One:
Start by working on your social skills. This means learning how to start and carry a conversation, how to flirt with women, and create attraction.
You should also work on improving your appearance. Get in shape, get a new haircut and buy some new clothes.
Month Two:
Start approaching women and practice your social skills.
You should also start going on dates with the women you meet. Don’t just go for coffee. Actually, plan something that you both will enjoy.
Month Three:
Focus on building a connection with the women you’re dating. This means being present at the moment, being a good listener, and being genuine.
You should also continue working on your appearance and fitness. Women are attracted to men who take care of themselves.
If you follow this blueprint, you’ll be well on your way to success with women. Just remember to take action and don’t give up.
23. Don’t Give up
The final step you should take to meet girls is not giving up!
The best dating advice for shy guys is to spend time becoming their best selves, harnessing their strengths, and getting rid of their baggage.
If you take action and don’t give up, you’ll be successful with women. It might not happen overnight, but if you keep working on it, it might happen.
So there you have it, the best dating advice for shy guys. Just remember to focus on becoming the best version of yourself, expanding your social
How to meet a girl if you are shy FAQ
Can a shy person get a girlfriend?
Yes. Shy people are capable of having girlfriends. They just have to be willing to put in a little bit more effort than those who are not shy.
One of the best ways for a shy person to get a girlfriend is to start by expanding your social circle. Get involved in activities and organizations that are interesting to you. This will help you meet new people, including girls who might be potential girlfriends.
Do girls like shy guys?
Shy people can generally be seen as very listeners in romantic relationships. This is because they tend to be good at making their partners feel comfortable and understood. Additionally, shy people often have a great sense of humor which can be very attractive to potential mates.
What do you say to a girl if you are shy?
If you are shy, it is essential to remember that girls are just people too. They will likely be just as nervous as you are in a new situation. Try to relax and be yourself. If you have trouble talking to girls, start by asking them questions about themselves. This will help you get to know them better and make it easier to carry on a conversation.
Can I get a girlfriend if I have no friends?
It is possible to get a girlfriend even if you have no friends. However, it will likely be more difficult than if you had a large social circle. Therefore, you may need to put in more effort to meet new people and make friends. Once you have made some friends, you can start looking for potential girlfriends within your new social group.
How do you get a girlfriend if you are introverted?
If you are introverted, you may find it more difficult to meet potential girlfriends. One way to overcome this is to get involved in activities and clubs that interest you. This will help you meet new people, including girls who might be potential girlfriends. Additionally, try to put yourself in social situations where you will be forced to interact with others. This will help you become more comfortable with talking to new people.